I think my mother has the early stages of either dementia or alzimers she hasn't been diagnosed by a Dr, because she refuses to have tests done, but I and the rest of my family have noticed her abnormal behavior. She is hoarding food to the point where the refrigerator is duct tape shut and has let her bills go unpaid because she wants to buy more food. My nephew has taken over her checking account 2 years ago to make sure the bills are paid but she now goes down to the bank and withdraws all the money before he can pay them to buy more food. She buys crap toys for great grand kids and is now hoarding them. She calls me at home and then asks where I am at. I can talk to her and 10 minutes later she won't remember talking to me or what was said. She will tell me one thing and my brother another thing and deny she said it just so him and I will argue. I am at my wits end. I don't know what to do because she and my brother won't listen. He denies anything is wrong with her. She gave up cleaning the house and makes my 84 year old step father do it. I think this has been the reason why I hit a cross stitching block. Ok sorry all my rant is over I know the chat is for cross stitch but I needed to let it out and DH is tired of hearing about it. All I really have is this house with this stupid ant infestation, my cats, and what is left of my family and DH.
Posted by: Nettie on 05/19/18
Post a Reply
Please Wait ...
Page:
1
2
3
5
10
25
50
Post Date
New Replies
Please Wait ...
Nettie, I understand how upsetting this situation is for you. Is her physician aware of the behaviors you and your family have observed? There are a number of different reasons why people refuse to go in to see their doctor.
Posted by: Bermuda on 05/19/18
I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult and frustrating this must be. Maybe you could speak to her Dr., and get some help, or at least get some advice on how to handle the situation.
Posted by: Jaj on 05/19/18
Oh Nettie, so hope someone can help you with this. Praying got you.
Posted by: surt8511 on 05/19/18
Nettie, I know exactly what you are going through. I promise you. I am putting you on my prayer list. It's hard when you don't know what to do or how to do it. This chat isn't just talk about cross stitch. It's where cross stitchers come to "talk" about just about everything. Anytime you need to blow, come here. You do have your cats (they are comforters) and your hubby and your house. I understand about the cross stitch block-no wonder. Just know that there are people who care about you, that will pray for you, and I am sending the strongest hug I can on our good ole Oklahoma wind. Peace and love, Nettie. Pam
Posted by: pamelastine11 on 05/19/18
Nettie, I truly sympathize with you. I don't know what state you live in but all states have services available for families dealing with problems like yours. They can even provide respite and housekeeping services that could help take the burden off from her husband. In NYS each county has an agency; in my area they are called Office of the Aging and if they don't immediately have resources dealing with your problem, they can make connections for you. Find them and make the call. Also, if you can find a list of MDs in your area, there should be a listing for geriatricians. Call and make an appointment. Those people are amazing. My mother didn't even know she was seeing medical personnel. I would take her out to lunch afterward and she would ask "When are we going back there?" I will admit that many dementia patients aren't as tractable as my mother was but there are people who can help you. Please get in touch with an agency and/or a geriatrician in your area. Please let us know how you are doing and if you want to connect with me personally, I will give you my email address. With love and best wishes for you and your family. Karen
Posted by: luvtoxstitch on 05/19/18
Karen is right. When I said I understand what you are going through, I do. Everything that Karen said is right on the money. Like her, I would be glad to give you my email. Just know you can't go through this by yourself. Karen, thank you for saying concrete things that I should have. Nettie, God is with you. Pam
Posted by: pamelastine11 on 05/19/18
Nettie, Karen and Pam are correct. Take the initiative and contact one of the agencies yourself. She obviously needs help and your brother seems to be in total denial. It is so difficult to see our parents become frail and have problems, but they are human too. Many times a simple medication can help control her problem. Good luck and know we are all here for you any time! Janet
Posted by: jmirz on 05/20/18
Thank you all for your input. I will try and figure out what to do. I have my wonderful nephew and his wife to help but they have 3 kids, 11 and under with the youngest being 2 and a handful, so they are busy and I don't want to lean on them to much. I have another brother who lives in a different state and wants nothing to do with it. I visit this chat site a lot because of all of you wonderful people. I don't make friends easily because of my quietness and shy personality. I would be willing to give Pam and Karen my email address. I don't have a computer just a tablet for right now so it can be a while until I email. I have to either use the one at work or the library. We will be getting one soon.
Posted by: Nettie on 05/20/18
I'm sorry for your pain & hope your mother can get some help. I'm a nurse who works in a long term care home in Ontario Canada & I've seem a lot of dementia sometimes caused by too much medication mixed that can cause dementia-type behaviour. Maybe if you can get her to see a doctor he should assess her meds. Hope this helps.
Posted by: terryd on 05/20/18
Nettie, seek professional help ie.Doctor who specializes in Geriatrics, there should be a phone number to get off the internet to guide you to calling the Alzheimer’s Association. They are very good at giving you information regarding Alzheimer’s and different Dementias. Check also like Karen said about checking your county and city services such as the center on Aging. A doctor needs to diagnose your Mom to see if she has a dementia or if it is another medical problem. Would your Mom be willing to go with a family member or your 84 year old step-dad to the doctor? There are services out there to help..