Nettie, I'm so sorry for you and your mother. Life is so hard for dementia patients. Please don't feel guilty....it will take you down....your mother will be taken care of by people who understand this disease. Praying for your peace.

Nettie, I am sorry that your family has to deal with this insidious disease. Do not feel guilty. I am sure that you checked this place out. If she can't remember 5 minutes ago, perhaps she calmed after you left. You are doing the best that anyone can. I will send prayers your way. God be with you and your family. Pam

Nettie,
No matter how much you did for your Mom and how much you continue to love her, you will feel some guilt for putting her in the nursing home. I saw it and I saw families who were caring for their loved one 24/7 and did everything they could and they STILL had feelings of guilt. I believe you did everything you could, but now she will get the care she needs 24/7. It is amazing to some how quickly most elderly in long term care facilities adjust AND make friends with the other residents. Give the situation, your Mom AND yourself time and before you know it, you’ll be more rested,
Your Mom will get the care she needs and you can continue with your love and visits.

I'm crying, too, Nettie...{{{{hugs to you}}}}

Thank you all for your kind messages. She isn't adjusting very well. She keeps calling and they very from I love you come and get me to I hate you why are you doing this to me. I can't stop crying so I stopped answering the phone which makes me feel worse.

Oh, Nettie, we had to place my mother-in-law years ago for the same reason. Keep asking for a room change. My husband went to the nursing home every morning and sometimes multiple times a day, and that seemed to help. Can you check her out to take her to your house, etc., for visits? My mom-in-law was the same at first and then loved the place. She never had a roommate, though, so that was easier. I'm praying for your and your mom.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I had to put my mom in a home 8 1/2 years after diagnosis. She passed in 2008 after a year and a half in the home. Throughout my teenage years she had always asked me to never ever put her in a home. It terrified her. I did everything I could to keep her in her own home as long as I could. It got to the point where I was breaking down. I was the only out of 3 of us to look after her. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Her Alzheimer’s was just too progressed I felt the guilt for a long time. Please know that you are doing the best thing for your mom. This horrible disease can really take it’s toll n family members. I’m sure you have done everything you can

Nettie,
Can you speak to the nursing home’s activities director to assist getting your mom involved with different activities?
Many activity directors working with dementia residents have activities that they can do and complete without becoming frustrated with the activity and gives them a feeling of accomplishment.

So sorry you are going thru this
Praying for you.

Wrap yourself in all the tough love she ever gave you and answer the phone. It will feel better in the long run. If she can't remember, you know she can't understand. Repeat, patiently repeat. More hugs and prayer to you...