I am just in a depression
I tried working on boo butterfly but that didn't help. I did some online cross stitch shopping but I can't afford what I want, see previous posts. Maddie tried the cuddle thing and that didn't help. I know what is causing my depression, multiple things, such as my job (office bullying) weather, my mother, and other things. know I can't change most of it, maybe a nice walk would help if it would quit raining. I am just down in the dumps.
Posted by: Nettie on 07/06/19
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Do something that means you have control of it and you CAN PUT RIGHT. Dust the bookcase and move things around...preferably add something new...spot-lighted with fairy lights. Throw something that has been getting your unwanted attention into the garage, trash, closet, somebody else's drawer. Doesn't have to take any time. It's just a change that you can do NOW. This minute. Really, it unhooks something in your thought processes. With practice, you can get to be positively euphoric by dipping the cat litter. 😄
by: VCESS on 07/06/19
Office bullying.........shocking! Do you have an HR person you can speak with? Children bullying is terrible, but adults doing it .........😱. Have you any plans of action that will help solve these negative things in your life Nettie? I hope so.
by: Marydenmark on 07/06/19
Nettie, it sounds like you are a bit restless and overwhelmed as well with the place you are in at this time (anyone would be with that much going on in your life especially with your mother as part of the mix). Maybe some affordable outings to get your mind in another place. A visit to the library, a safe park to visit that you can walk or read if you like reading, or stitching while you're there (I know you mentioned poor weather right now), a trip to a cafe like Starbucks or similar for coffee with a friend or even by yourself to clear your mind and get your thoughts in a better place if that is what you enjoy more.

Yes, Mary. There is lots of bullying at nearly every job I worked for many years and at various jobs. I refused to be a part of this childish conduct and always went elsewhere to avoid people who had nothing better to do with their time and energy but rip apart others- I couldn't stand this mean spirited conduct. It always seemed to be the nicest people were the ones who were picked on the most. It is not just immature but cruel and hurtful to another human being.

by: lbcatlovr001 on 07/06/19
Nettie-
I Agree with Mary. Report the office bullying as soon as you can to HR and Make sure you can give examples of what the bully is saying. Human Resources can’t do anything about it if they don’t know about it. Once you report it to HR, Keep a WRITTEN record of date, time and name of HR person you spoke with and your conversation with him/her. Human Resources are required to take action if you make them aware of it. THEN keep a WRITTEN JOURNAL For any further bullying episodes.
Most bullys are individuals who have an ‘inferiority complex’ and so they attempt to make themselves feel better by, as my grandmother would say (figuratively speaking), ‘Cut off your head to make themselves feel taller.” Bullys are also cowards because they will pick on someone that they consider are too weak or ‘too nice’ and won’t say or do anything about their unacceptable behavior. If they are ‘called out’ on it by Human Resources, they’ll probably think twice about doing it to you. Continue to keep your journal in a locked, secure area.
by: Bermuda on 07/06/19
Nettie, i hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better tomorrow. 😍😍🤩
by: surt8511 on 07/06/19
I have talked to the owner of the office several times and no we don't have an hr person because we only have 10 employees. We are a small office, in a small town, and he keeps trying to reassure me that things will get better. I have recorded and documented everything I see and hear. I have an example of what happened. I was told I couldn't take vacation unless he did so I stopped doing that and only took vacation when he did, so then I was ripped apart for doing that because I wasn't around to answer questions from patients or order supplies. This has been going on for 11 years. This comes from a 56 and 66 year old women. I have caught them going through my operatory and his desk, there are no consequences for their actions because they are older then us and he respects his elders. I have contacted our department of labor for help but haven't heard back from them. I tried to put my resignation in on Tuesday and he talked me out of it. I love my job but I can't take it anymore. My mother is in an home because of dementia and hates me with a passion but I didn't have a choice since she can't take care of herself. I visited her today and she was in her mean stage with name calling and hatred. She was never this way before. I know I sound like a poor me situation but some days are harder then others.
by: Nettie on 07/06/19
How long has it been since you contacted the dept. of labor? You might consider giving them another call.
I understand you are under a load of stress, what with your Mom but it’s my opinion that one of the things that you can try to change is to stop the workplace bullying. Does your boss have a boss? If so, direct the problem to him/ her since your direct supervisor doesn’t seem capable of fixing the problem.
I apologize if I seem to be coming off so strongly about your bullying problem, but I put up with a lot of that type of treatment in my early days and I finally got sick of it, so I did something about it.


by: Bermuda on 07/06/19
I have to agree with Bermuda's assessment of the incapable supervisor. These people work for a small company job in a small town and nothing delivers a bigger message in the gossip mill of a small town than the person in charge taking control, putting his big boy pants on, and delivering a big message "that bullying at his company when he is paying these people to do a job will not be tolerated ever" and if he comes across anymore of it they will be suspended without pay, let go, etc. Watch how fast the atmosphere in that job changes. I come from a very small town and word travels through town super fast. Otherwise, this company will continue to get more people who feel it is okay to continue the same behavior and do the same over and over again. This of course is just my point of view but it seems pretty clear cut to me.

I'm sorry Nettie I know that this does not help you very much right now, and I hope your employer will see the light on how to correct this issue promptly. You are in my thoughts, and I do hope that somehow you can lighten your stress load and find some inner peace.
by: lbcatlovr001 on 07/07/19
Nettie, in these days we often hear people giving themselves a pity party just to gain sympathy but I think that you’re perfectly right to let those feelings out. It’s your safety valve in good working order.
By the way a good walk in the rain is most invigorating and everything smells so good.
I think that Bermuda’s advice is spot on and with Ibcatlover I too back her up.
I don’t know the age people are pensioned off in your country but hopefully the 66 yr old is nearing it. This removes the leftover bully’s back up and will give you some peace.
We’re all behind you.
by: Marydenmark on 07/07/19
Nettie......Google bullying at work. There is so much there.🍀
by: Marydenmark on 07/07/19