Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better At The Beach by Romy's Creations
Life Is Better At The Beach
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Life really is better at the beach! This cheerful design features sunny flip-flops, a cool drink, playful crabs and seaside accents for the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 57
Fabric:16ct. Aida Sea Spray
Floss:Romy's Creations, DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ring the Bell by Artists Alley
Ring the Bell
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A FUNNY ALEXA SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 159 stitches wide by 119 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:159w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillage & Plunder by Sue Hillis Designs
Pillage & Plunder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Why work - when you can pillage and plunder. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Moon was Full by The Stitcherhood
The Moon was Full
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
In my defense, the moon was full and I was unsupervised. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you don't see coffee in my hand - just turn around and walk away slowly. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 94. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stabby by The Stitcherhood
Stabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stab fabric not people. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 110. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old Age by Iris Originals
Old Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't let old age get you down - It's too hard to get back up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 152 x 126. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:152w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It was the Gnome! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by Black Cats Media. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:144w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Please by Spot Colors
Beach Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees and colorful summer details. A playful stitch perfect for adding a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Our of my Mouth by Iris Originals
Our of my Mouth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Must remember this - I certainly don't need to speak everything I think .
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Retired by Iris Originals
Retired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What do you call a person who is happy on Monday - Retired. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 91. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Workout by Cross Stitch Wonders
Today's Workout
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Hilarious WINE SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 146 stitches wide by 157...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:146w x 157
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitcher's Mess by Iris Originals
Stitcher's Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Good Witch by Imaginating
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
This "witchy" phrase is a fun way to celebrate Halloween all year long! Cross stitch kit will include all of the materials needed to...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:8 DMC floss colors
$13.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bail Money by Iris Originals
Bail Money
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Tired by Iris Originals
Too Tired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty well describes me these days. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$19.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teachers Care to the Core by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teachers Care to the Core
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For the teachers in your life. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 67. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eat Cake by Sue Hillis Designs
Eat Cake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 62 x 91. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog in Charge by Imaginating
Dog in Charge
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Margarita Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Margarita Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 117
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Signier Sign by Imaginating
Signier Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Sometimes the universe just needs to be a little more obvious! This humorous design features a woman searching for answers while a stack of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Ruin Your Day by Imaginating
Ruin Your Day
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
When life rains on your parade, grab your umbrella, scowl proudly, and remember—ruining your day is a you job. This moody little stitch...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$20.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness on the Couch by Romy's Creations
Happiness on the Couch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Witch by Bobbie G Designs
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Liberty Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Liberty Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Booty. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 65 x 83. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Khaki
Floss:10 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Oh Quaran-Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
Oh Quaran-Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 67...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD ... Camping by Cross Stitch Wonders
OCD ... Camping
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bloody Mary Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bloody Mary Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 117
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Good Friend by Sue Hillis Designs
A Good Friend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A good friend is like a bra - Close to your heart and very supportive. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:46w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bookstore by Rogue Stitchery
Bookstore
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, It Takes A Village by Imaginating
It Takes A Village
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
$20.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah by Iris Originals
Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever feel this way in the morning - Some days I'm moving about as fast as this little guy. Added him because my granddaughter loves...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 85
Fabric:14ct. picture this plus artic
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dorothy's Discovery by Silver Creek Samplers
Dorothy's Discovery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen
Floss:DMC, WDW & GA
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best FRiend by Iris Originals
Best FRiend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute saying about your best friend - does she know too much - probably :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Drink Coffee by Sweet Wing Studio
To Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
For the true coffee lovers out there—this fun and cheeky design says it all! Bold lettering and cozy colors make this a perfect project to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 90
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Mushroom
Floss:WDW, DMC and CCW
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool - She's(He's) Very Wise. Licensed artwork by Anastasia Feya. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 160 x 146....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 146
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Piracy by Sue Hillis Designs
Piracy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Piracy - A viable career option. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitch by White Willow Stitching
Bitch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bitch is a subversive and sassy saying cross stitch chart designed by my dear friend StitchBitch. This line of charts requires a twisted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:45w x 51
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, The Queen by Design Works
The Queen
a Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Beautiful designs and top quality materials make Tobin one of the top cross stitch kit makers worldwide. This package contains 14-count...
Kit Details:
Size:5"x7"
$9.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things I Like by The Stitcherhood
Things I Like
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice
$5.00
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