Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 150
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wicked Witch & Grumpy Toad by Waxing Moon Designs
Wicked Witch & Grumpy Toad
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 107
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulting Is Hard by Rogue Stitchery
Adulting Is Hard
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee! A favorite drink of so many of us. This pattern calls out to the coffee lover. Designed with a whimsical saying, it uses...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bras & Panties by Lizzie Kate
Bras & Panties
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
$12.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid by White Willow Stitching
Stupid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Stupid is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches as well as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:52w x 70
Floss:7 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Warrior Queen by Iris Originals
Warrior Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - older and meaner all the time. I like the title "Warrior Queen"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Kits, Coffee First by Mill Hill
Coffee First
a Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
Kit Includes: Beads, perforated paper, floss, needles, chart and instructions.
Kit Details:
Size:7" x 7"
$19.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Kits, Nuthouse by Design Works
Nuthouse
a Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Kit comes complete with: 14 Count Aida Fabric, 100% Cotton Embroidery Floss, #24 Tapestry Needleand Fully Illustrated Instructions
Kit Details:
Size:10" X 10"
Floss:100% Cotton Embroidery Floss
Designer:
$28.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Sense by The Stitcherhood
Make Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
I am under no obligation to make sense to you. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 63. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Queen by Imaginating
The Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 105. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Lady Nurse by PinoyStitch
Sassy Lady Nurse
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross stitch Sassy Ladies speak their mind! Designed retro style with quirky quotes for a fun project. Easy stitch, mostly full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 11
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Life's Journey by Imaginating
Life's Journey
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Life's Journey is designed to be stitched on 18ct White Aida fabric and uses 9 different colors of floss.
Kit Details:
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:Bobbie G Designs
$17.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Overthink by Lucy Beam
Overthink
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A warm, relatable design that mixes heartfelt sentiment with gentle humor. Featuring soft, rustic motifs and the honest phrase “Pray for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 70
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art, DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Panic by The Stitcherhood
Don't Panic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Don't panic. Organize! A design for anti-bullying, pro community or individual empowerment. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Goblins by Shakespeare's Peddler
Goblins
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler
Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 89
Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Mood by Iris Originals
Today's Mood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's usually the case with me. Good way to start the day is with good coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Become a Senior by Iris Originals
Become a Senior
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So sad (not really).... but it's not quite a exciting as it was in high school
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teacher Off Duty by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teacher Off Duty
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great School's Out design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 68. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Chart...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 68
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All Day by Iris Originals
All Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Of Course I'm Cute by Iris Originals
Of Course I'm Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I’m cute… haven’t you seen my great-gram! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Saying by Iris Originals
Just Saying
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Since I have awesome grandchildren - I'm sure this is true (of course, I do have awesome children too).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor of DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed by PinoyStitch
Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Mini Cross Stitch Pattern: Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed Design Source: Antique Chart Adaptation DMC Floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 177
Fabric:14ct. Aida Red
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 1
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Believe by Sue Hillis Designs
Believe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
What Santa brings if you don't Believe. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #1a by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #1a
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:66w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #2 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A little dark humor for serious coffee lovers. This witty design is a quick and fun stitch for anyone who knows that caffeine comes...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:36w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #4 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
For those who run on caffeine, this fun and witty design says it all! A quick stitch that's perfect for coffee lovers with a sense of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #5 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #5
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A sweet and witty design for anyone who believes true love comes with the irresistible aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Counted cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #6 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #6
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Short, simple and delightfully sassy. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 33 x 24. Model stitched on 32ct Cream Evenweave using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:33w x 24
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wonder Years by Iris Originals
Wonder Years
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Somedayto be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Ride The Broom by Imaginating
Ride The Broom
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC floss colors
$23.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Everything by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Everything
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 99
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 2
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Eyesight by Iris Originals
Your Eyesight
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's pretty much me these days - how about you??
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Kits, In the Chairs by Mill Hill
In the Chairs
a Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
Kit includes: Beads, fabric , floss, needles, chart and instructions.
Kit Details:
Size:7" X 7"
$21.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional by Sue Hillis Designs
DysFUNctional
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Our Family puts the Fun in Dysfunctional. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Fishing Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Fishing Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/FISHING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Design is 100 stitches wide by 110 stitches high. Included is a large/easy to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smell the Pages by Rogue Stitchery
Smell the Pages
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
A gentle reminder to slow down and savor the moment. This lovely design features an open book framed by blooming roses and the phrase...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Amaze Myself by Iris Originals
Amaze Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Some days I amaze myself - Other days I put my keys in the fridge! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 1090. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN COFFEE AND BEER saying/phrase design. Designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 80 stitches wide by 128...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 128
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Cat Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 74
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've finally reached the age where I've mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing...without feeling guilty about it! Counted cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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