Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, New Day by White Willow Stitching
New Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had Coffee by Iris Originals
Had Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I woke up got out of bed and had coffee. That's probably enough activity for one day. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 97 x 96....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Awake by Iris Originals
I'm Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm awake! But, if you're expecting bright eyed & bushy tailed - go catch a squirrel. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 117 x...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Old Lady by Iris Originals
Grumpy Old Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, sometimes I'm a grumpy old lady, but hey - I'm still above the grass, so I'm blessed.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Dog In Charge by Imaginating
Dog In Charge
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor!Dog In Charge is designed...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC floss colors
$17.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Freshly Brewed Coffee by Iris Originals
Freshly Brewed Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee - or maybe you're not a coffeeholic like me. Anyway, this makes a great little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Big Books by Rogue Stitchery
Big Books
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 32. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC colors
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Kits, Friendly Advice by Imaginating
Friendly Advice
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting “send.” With...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$17.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee & Dinosaurs #2 by Iris Originals
Coffee & Dinosaurs #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee is vital for survival - Dinosaurs didn't have coffee - Look how that turned out. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A colorful reminder to choose happiness and let go of what others think. This uplifting design is perfect for anyone who embraces life with...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who always have a comeback ready, this colorful and humorous design is perfect for anyone who proudly admits they were simply...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who proudly speak their mind, this playful design features a bold "I Have No Filter" warning that's perfect for adding a little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone who's ever felt like they're barely keeping it together, this nautical-inspired design delivers the perfect dose of humor. A fun...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Celebrate what makes you unique with this bright and uplifting design! A fun reminder that you're not weird—you're simply one of a kind and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little sarcastic, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This witty design is perfect for anyone who appreciates sharp humor and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Stand out from the crowd with this fun and empowering design featuring the inspiring reminder to "Be a Stiletto in a Room of Flats." A...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life's toughest decisions are sometimes the sweetest! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who has ever wished a salad would...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For the beauty lovers who know mascara solves almost everything! This fun and fashionable design is perfect for anyone who believes life's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Reason I Wake up Early by Iris Originals
The Reason I Wake up Early
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
MY DOG - is the reason I wake up in the morning.... cute cross stitch for the dog lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rise & Shine by Iris Originals
Rise & Shine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't know about you - but I'm thinking I'm not the only one that isn't bright eyed when she gets out of bed. Great chart for a friend who...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Practice What You Peach by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Practice What You Peach
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 78 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Professional Help by Iris Originals
Professional Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We probably all need professional help at some point - but I could use these on a daily basis :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder by Rogue Stitchery
OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the Coffee Obsessive! This pattern uses various mauves, greens and gray-ish cocoas. The horizontal border along the top and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 91
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$14.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Side Effects by Iris Originals
Side Effects
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you know it - the older I get (and yes, I am old) the more I know I'm old from the way I'm feeling. Everyone knows that all meds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, List to do by Kiokiz
List to do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smile S'more by Cross Stitch Wonders
Smile S'more
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great S'MORE / CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience Tested by Iris Originals
Patience Tested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I had my patience tested - I was negative. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 107 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's Cupcake O'Clock by Sue Hillis Designs
It's Cupcake O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Cupcake happy hour.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Cake Required by Mill Hill
Cake Required
a Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
Kit Includes: Beads, fabric , floss, needles, chart and instructions.
Kit Details:
Size:7" X 7"
$22.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Stitch a Day by The Stitcherhood
A Stitch a Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A Stitch a Day Keeps the Crazy Away. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 80 x 100. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Update Still Love Dogs People Not So Much by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Update Still Love Dogs People Not So Much
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
ADORABLE DOG Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 110 stitches wide by 128 stitches high.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Lose Everything But Weight by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Lose Everything But Weight
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WEIGHT saying in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original art by Anastasia Feya. This design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Nap by Iris Originals
A Nap
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Stuff by Iris Originals
Lots of Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I had a lot of stuff to do today...Now, I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 96. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rainbow Cups by Rogue Stitchery
Rainbow Cups
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 85
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Younger by Imaginating
Younger
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Don't we all wish we get older while looking younger?! This Mary Engelbreit design is the perfect project to gift to a friend or family...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 143
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$23.95
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Cross Stitch Kits, Your Opinion by Imaginating
Your Opinion
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Your Opinion" is for the unapologetically bold! Featuring a confident woman with one hand on her hip and the other dismissively raised,...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
$21.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up from the Sofa by Iris Originals
Get Up from the Sofa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And sometimes three - but life is good. Glad to be alive!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loves Me by Sue Hillis Designs
Loves Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
...Loves me, Loves me not...'tis no matter, I'm all he's got. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Mine by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine is designed by StitchBitch and exclusive to White Willow Stitching. This design does include both full stitches and backstitching....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:50w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bench Press a Buick by Iris Originals
Bench Press a Buick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've felt that way sometimes. Great chart to remind yourself how strong you really are - or a great gift for that super friend. Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, 2020 Is Elfed Up by Cross Stitch Wonders
2020 Is Elfed Up
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 64...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When you get a new Dog by Iris Originals
When you get a new Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
As much as I love my baby - this is absolutely true. Wherever I go in the house, he's right next to me. I'm never alone!!! Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Inner Tube by Mill Hill
Inner Tube
a Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
Kit Includes: Beads, fabric , floss, needles, chart and instructions.
Kit Details:
Size:7" X 7"
$21.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lids on Jars by Iris Originals
Lids on Jars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this seems to be an everyday occasion in my life - anytime I'm faced with a jar, bottle or whatever needs to be opened. Yeah, I know...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Prevents Injuries by Iris Originals
Coffee Prevents Injuries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee saying - if you love coffee, or know someone who does, this makes a great little gift or saying near your coffee pot.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 colors DMC or Anchor fllss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wednesday - friday by Iris Originals
Wednesday - friday
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Goodness - sometimes don't you just look at that calendar and think - or no, it's only Wednesday when I was ready for Friday?! This says...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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