Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
On Sale:$8.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Another Great Day by Peacock & Fig
Another Great Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
When adulting just seems too hard for you, take some time out to relax with a little stitching and whip up the pretty demotivational...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulthood by Peacock & Fig
Adulthood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
In case you’re finding adulting harder than your eight-year-old self anticipated, the Adulthood cross stitch pattern should help you giggle...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 140
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pugs not drugs by Kiokiz
Pugs not drugs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 88 stitches
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$9.29
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
Fabric:0
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wedding Nights by Peacock & Fig
Wedding Nights
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you've ever wondered what to take to a bridal shower, then maybe this sassy marriage cross stitch pattern will be just what you're...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$9.29
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Awesome Coffee by Stitchnmomma
Awesome Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A perfect, sunny piece for the coffee lover in your life. The pattern uses just 1 color and all full stitches on a bright fabric to...
Pattern Details:
Size:7.21" x 7.50"
Fabric:0
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Worry? by X's & Oh's
Why Worry?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!" Model stitched on 28 ct Antique white Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count 93x60.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bad Boy by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Pine Glen Designs
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If the sun doesn't rise for you until a steam rises from your first cuppa... this is the chart for you.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Summer Sky
On Sale:$4.25
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus (male) by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus (male)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If our male youth version of our popular “Addiction vs Virus” is not suitable for the man in your life, perhaps this one will suit your man...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida
On Sale:$4.25
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Winter Driving Tips by Imaginating
Winter Driving Tips
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fab Frog by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Fab Frog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Rebel Stitcher featuring a frog in underpants with an umbrella and the phrase "Stay weird and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 145
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
On Sale:$12.75
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All You Need is Coffee by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
All You Need is Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
All you need is ... coffee aroma, coffee scent, coffee taste, coffee strength ... Coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 127...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 132
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$13.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine-y Stitchers by Barefoot Needleart
Wine-y Stitchers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Barefoot Needleart
Cross stitch pattern from Barefoot Needleart featuring a wine bottle and the phrase, 'All my friends are wine-y Stitchers". Pattern is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 104
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Whisper
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$4.25
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Solicitors by Artists Alley
No Solicitors
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:150w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shake Your Tail by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Shake Your Tail
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
AAN Privee Collection - Shake your bunny tail. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 122 x 123. Model stitched on White fabric using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 123
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You Warts'n All by Val's Stuff
Love You Warts'n All
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all." Stitched on 36 count...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:61w x 37
Fabric:36ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bakers Pro Tip by Imaginating
Bakers Pro Tip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A sweet (and slightly unhinged) reminder that cake is best enjoyed immediately. This playful cross-stitch pattern features a happy baker,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spite & Caffeine by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Spite & Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:191w x 91
Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:Cottage Garden Threads
On Sale:$12.75
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Anxious by Lucy Beam
Anxious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A heartfelt, gently humorous design that blends honesty with charm. Featuring delicate florals and the candid phrase “Pray for me, I’m...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 95
Fabric:36ct. Linen
Floss:Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Always One by Rosewood Manor
Always One
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "There is always one in every crowd"! Pattern is stitched on 28 ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Barefoot by Rosewood Manor
Barefoot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "If you are not barefoot, then you are overdressed"! Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pants by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
This is a printed cross stitch pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs. It features a whimsical design that says 'I can't decide what pants to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:136w x 99
Fabric:40ct. Linen
Floss:Classic Color Works
On Sale:$12.75
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy New Year! by The Stitcherhood
Happy New Year!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Here is a funny design. Happy New Year! Let’s try this again. Fortunately, we get to do that each year, and hopefully make it better each...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #310 (black). Also pictured in red (#321) and blue (#517)
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Firrts by Iris Originals
Coffee Firrts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - ALWAYS need coffee first.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitter by Lucy Beam
Bitter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 96
Fabric:36ct. Linen Smoke Blue
Floss:Gentle Art
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Envious by Lucy Beam
Envious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 92
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Foul Language by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Foul Language
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
This witty chicken design adds a fun dose of humor to farmhouse stitching. With playful wording and a charming little hen, it’s a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 75
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stubborn by Lucy Beam
Stubborn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 78
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved 2 by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
a counted cross-stitch design featuring a cat-themed subject, available as a physical pattern leaflet. It is characterized as a detailed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:225w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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