Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Intentions by Kathy Barrick
Good Intentions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kathy Barrick
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 110
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Came With The House by Hands on Design
It Came With The House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Hands on Design
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 91
Fabric:32ct. belfast antique white
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Solicitors by Artists Alley
No Solicitors
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:150w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You Warts'n All by Val's Stuff
Love You Warts'n All
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all." Stitched on 36 count...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:61w x 37
Fabric:36ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's Cupcake O'Clock by Sue Hillis Designs
It's Cupcake O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Cupcake happy hour.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Harm...But by Artists Alley
No Harm...But
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Roses are red, candles are lit, do no harm but take no shit. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 137 x 166. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 166
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:22 DMC colors
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bless your Little Heart by Iris Originals
Bless your Little Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another cute coffee saying, and yes, I am a coffee addict!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:15 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools of the Trade by Sue Hillis Designs
Tools of the Trade
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The tools every pirate needs. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an 8 inch by 10 inch frame. Three coin...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN! An awesome saying that surely makes one smile. :-) Original...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:228w x 150
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Super Mom by Iris Originals
Super Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Moms are truly super - great chart to finish for "your" Mom - or for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD Christmas by Artists Alley
OCD Christmas
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"OCD Christmas" by Artists Alley is a detailed holiday-themed cross-stitch pattern featuring vibrant, meticulously ordered scenes typical...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 40
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Positive Sign by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign, a humorous, easy and fun cross stitch design! Model stitched on 14 count fiddler oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC #3799
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"Kitty Approved" by Artists Alley is a counted cross-stitch pattern featuring a charming, detailed feline design. 14-count Aida fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:165w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Unbearable by Stitchy Prose
If Unbearable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A perfect stitch for somebody that needs a little more than the average Snickers Bar. "If unbearable, please go to the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 288
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:Classic Colorworks, DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Attitude... by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Attitude...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This spirited pattern set features three playful sayings—“She’s got that girl boss hustle,” “Get stuff done,” and “Alexa, skip to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 95
Floss:DMC Floss
Designer:Sue Hillis
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Stitcher's Mantra by Dear Sukie
A Stitcher's Mantra
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Dear Sukie
A Stitcher's Mantra! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 145 x 107. Stitched with DMC floss on 18ct. White Aida. Black and White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 107
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:5 Colours of DMC Thread
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Possible by Amy Bruecken Designs
Possible
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Problem/Duct Tape by X's & Oh's
Your Problem/Duct Tape
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I'm already envisioning the duct tape over your mouth..." "I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce..." Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 89
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Water Cress
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sleep by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 149
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let It Snow (Somewhere Else) by X's & Oh's
Let It Snow (Somewhere Else)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffeeless? by Pine Glen Designs
Coffeeless?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Do people insist upon asking you questions that you can't possibly answer or trying to get you to do things before your first cup of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Witch is In by Artists Alley
The Witch is In
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rise & Whine by X's & Oh's
Rise & Whine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cabin Rules by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cabin Rules
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 86w x 116h. A cute saying for a cozy cabin that says: Cabin Rules: Match a sunrise, Go...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Floss:DMC Floss and Weeks Dye Works
Designer:Pickle Barrel Designs
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Worry? by X's & Oh's
Why Worry?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!" Model stitched on 28 ct Antique white Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count 93x60.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved 2 by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
a counted cross-stitch design featuring a cat-themed subject, available as a physical pattern leaflet. It is characterized as a detailed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:225w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Me Shine by X's & Oh's
Make Me Shine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 161
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Ivory
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things in Life by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life is a fun and sassy cross stitch Backstitching is required but no fractional stitches makes it perfect for any fabric count....
Pattern Details:
Floss:16 DMC floss colors
Designer:Jamie Larson
On Sale:$8.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
On Sale:$8.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny 2 by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 103
Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.
Designer:Jamie Larson
On Sale:$8.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny by White Willow Stitching
Skinny
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 137
Floss:DMC floss required.
Designer:Jamie Larson
On Sale:$8.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Makes Me Human by Kitty & Me Designs
Coffee Makes Me Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Wake up and stitch with a smile! This charming design features a cozy coffee pot, colorful florals and the cheerful reminder that coffee is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$9.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Dana Batho
On Sale:$9.29
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wedding Nights by Peacock & Fig
Wedding Nights
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you've ever wondered what to take to a bridal shower, then maybe this sassy marriage cross stitch pattern will be just what you're...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$9.29
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fresh Out of Fuchsias by Peacock & Fig
Fresh Out of Fuchsias
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who likes to push boundaries just a little, seeing what you can get away with? If so, the Fresh Out of Fuchsias...
Pattern Details:
Size:5" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$9.29
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Crabby by Stitchy Prose
If Crabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 80
Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
On Sale:$9.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dorothy's Discovery by Silver Creek Samplers
Dorothy's Discovery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen
Floss:DMC, WDW & GA
On Sale:$9.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Was It The Hare? by Val's Stuff
Was It The Hare?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
This whimsical spring design features a tall bunny surrounded by blooming flowers and fluttering butterflies. Paired with the playful...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:68w x 168
Fabric:32ct. Linen Lemon Yellow
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$9.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Maybe Wine will Help by Peacock & Fig
Maybe Wine will Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re drowning in a sea of stress and the daily grind is getting to you, the Maybe Wine Will Help fun cross stitch pattern will pick...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm: the perfect answer to every stupid question. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 168 x 151. Model stitched on 14ct fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:168w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:13 DMC colors
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitch & Drink Wine by Peacock & Fig
Stitch & Drink Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Stitch, drink wine, and be happy are inscribed in this inspirational cross stitch pattern — focus on the important things in life.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adventure for Introverts by Peacock & Fig
Adventure for Introverts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Just in case the past few years have been a bit **too** adventurous for your taste, the Adventure for Introverts cross stitch pattern lets...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 127
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Say No by Peacock & Fig
Just Say No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have you ever had days where you want to just say no to stupidity?! This elegant and funny cross stitch pattern is perfect for making you...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen Bee by Peacock & Fig
Queen Bee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This gorgeous cross stitch pattern is the perfect inspirational quote for women! Let the world know you are the Queen Bee with glamour and...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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