Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stolen Mind by Pine Glen Designs
Stolen Mind
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler is for all the times that children have sent their mothers mumbling from the room. The next time someone asks if you have...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 81
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Warning by Pine Glen Designs
Warning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If you have been accused of having an "attitude" this is the sampler for you. Simply place this disclaimer in plain view and feel free to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus (male youth) by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus (male youth)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Looking for a male version of our popular ‘Addiction vs. Virus’ design? We have come up with this male youth version for the younger males...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Cream
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rise & Whine by X's & Oh's
Rise & Whine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Fairy by Iris Originals
Coffee Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Starve by White Willow Stitching
Starve
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A little subversive humor most mothers feel. Well now you can cross stitch it and hang it in your kitchen! Starve is designed using only...
Pattern Details:
Floss:20 skeins DMC #310
Designer:Jamie Larson
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience and Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Don't Exercise by Iris Originals
I Don't Exercise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, you know with me, coffee comes first. It's tricky to do anything with coffee in my cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any ANIMAL / RESCUE / SHELTER enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Wine (or Coffee, Beer, Tea, Cocktails) SAVE ANIMALS and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cabin Rules by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cabin Rules
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 86w x 116h. A cute saying for a cozy cabin that says: Cabin Rules: Match a sunrise, Go...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Floss:DMC Floss and Weeks Dye Works
Designer:Pickle Barrel Designs
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You know how a little kid is if their balloon gets away - well, that about says it all. Be careful - don't spill the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love Peckers by White Willow Stitching
Love Peckers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
This humorous Woodpecker monochrome cross stitch chart is designed using only full stitches making it perfect for any fabric count. 16...
Pattern Details:
Floss:3 Skeins DMC floss
Designer:Jamie Larson
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy since birth by Kiokiz
Sassy since birth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 63
Floss:DMC
Designer:
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Another Great Day by Peacock & Fig
Another Great Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
When adulting just seems too hard for you, take some time out to relax with a little stitching and whip up the pretty demotivational...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulthood by Peacock & Fig
Adulthood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
In case you’re finding adulting harder than your eight-year-old self anticipated, the Adulthood cross stitch pattern should help you giggle...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 140
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pugs not drugs by Kiokiz
Pugs not drugs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 88 stitches
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Dana Batho
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wedding Nights by Peacock & Fig
Wedding Nights
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you've ever wondered what to take to a bridal shower, then maybe this sassy marriage cross stitch pattern will be just what you're...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Awesome Coffee by Stitchnmomma
Awesome Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A perfect, sunny piece for the coffee lover in your life. The pattern uses just 1 color and all full stitches on a bright fabric to...
Pattern Details:
Size:7.21" x 7.50"
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Worry? by X's & Oh's
Why Worry?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!" Model stitched on 28 ct Antique white Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count 93x60.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bad Boy by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Pine Glen Designs
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If the sun doesn't rise for you until a steam rises from your first cuppa... this is the chart for you.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Summer Sky
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus (male) by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus (male)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If our male youth version of our popular “Addiction vs Virus” is not suitable for the man in your life, perhaps this one will suit your man...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #2 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:36w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #3 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #4 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #5 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #5
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #6 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #6
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:33w x 24
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #7 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #7
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #8 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #8
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #9 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #9
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Feral by Stitchnmomma
Feral
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Is it meno-rage? Is it acute sleep deprivation? Is it the current state of our country? I don’t know, but I know it has been my current...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 28
Fabric:28ct. Linen Opalescent Teal
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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