Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulting All Over by Peacock & Fig
Adulting All Over
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you amaze yourself some days with the fact that you made it through the day and coped with all sorts of adult stuff and didn’t have a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Her Ladyship by Peacock & Fig
Her Ladyship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Celebrate the joy of a beautiful newborn with this exquisite baby girl cross stitch pattern! Her Ladyship includes an alphabet chart and...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vodka by Peacock & Fig
Vodka
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether you enjoy drinking vodka or not, the Vodka cross stitch pattern reminds you that we all have those days. This pattern also has a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, His Lordship by Peacock & Fig
His Lordship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Commemorate the arrival of the handsome newborn with this regal baby boy cross stitch pattern! His Lordship comes with an alphabet and full...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Count Me Baby by Peacock & Fig
Count Me Baby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Giggle yourself to sleep with the cheeky meme "Count me baby, all night long." This pretty sheep cross stitch pattern is perfect for that...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Inner Unicorn by Peacock & Fig
Inner Unicorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe in unicorns? This pretty unicorn cross stitch pattern gently reminds you to believe that in the good and magical part of...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Another Great Day by Peacock & Fig
Another Great Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
When adulting just seems too hard for you, take some time out to relax with a little stitching and whip up the pretty demotivational...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulthood by Peacock & Fig
Adulthood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
In case you’re finding adulting harder than your eight-year-old self anticipated, the Adulthood cross stitch pattern should help you giggle...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 140
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Call Me Cute by Peacock & Fig
Don't Call Me Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 98
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thrills & Spills by Peacock & Fig
Thrills & Spills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Nothing says “retro cross stitch” like a little blast from Scandinavian design past… Remember in the 70’s when printed paper towels were...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 161
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Face That Cares by Peacock & Fig
Face That Cares
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Face That Cares cross stitch pattern is set in a lovely orchard featuring pretty shades of peach and pink, juxtaposed with the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 125
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Astrology by Peacock & Fig
Astrology
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether astrology is your thing or not, this humorous cross stitch pattern is sure to generate laughs. With vivid blues and purples and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 100
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pooch Me Hame by Peacock & Fig
Pooch Me Hame
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The vibrant tones and metallic shimmer of the elegant Pooch Me Hame cross stitch pattern hides a little “surprise”… the text. This...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thin Patience by Peacock & Fig
Thin Patience
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you sick of people-ing and your patience is wearing oh-so-thin? Help yourself cope with the daily grind with the demotivational Thin...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zero Fronds Given by Peacock & Fig
Zero Fronds Given
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Zero Fronds Given is a fun and sassy cross stitch pattern that helps you “check in” to remind yourself that this too shall pass. This...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bow Before Me by Peacock & Fig
Bow Before Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
You'll never have to wonder what to give for a gift ever again with this elegantly sassy birthday cross stitch pattern. Not only does Bow...
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Glam to Give a Damn by Peacock & Fig
Too Glam to Give a Damn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Let your decor be voted the "best dressed" with this stunning snarky cross stitch pattern! Make any decor luxurious with Too Glam to Give a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
On Sale:$10.15
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better At The Beach by Romy's Creations
Life Is Better At The Beach
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Life really is better at the beach! This cheerful design features sunny flip-flops, a cool drink, playful crabs and seaside accents for the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 57
Fabric:16ct. Aida Sea Spray
Floss:Romy's Creations, DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Goblins by Shakespeare's Peddler
Goblins
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler
Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 89
Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness on the Couch by Romy's Creations
Happiness on the Couch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Midlife by Sampler Sensibility
Midlife
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sampler Sensibility
"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself " -from a letter to Elizabeth Holland from Emily Dickinson, 1856. Relatable quote to all on so...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 36
Fabric:27ct. Linen
Floss:DMC Floss, Gentle Art Sampler Threads
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sewing Room by Iris Originals
Sewing Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This actually applies to my sewing room, craft area, office - wherever - and let's don't forget the room where our cross stitch stash is!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Saying by Iris Originals
Just Saying
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Since I have awesome grandchildren - I'm sure this is true (of course, I do have awesome children too).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor of DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Overthink by Lucy Beam
Overthink
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A warm, relatable design that mixes heartfelt sentiment with gentle humor. Featuring soft, rustic motifs and the honest phrase “Pray for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 70
Fabric:36ct. Linen
Floss:Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Who Let The Frogs Out by Heartstring Samplery
Who Let The Frogs Out
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Heartstring Samplery
Cross stitch pattern from Heartstring Samplery featuring a sampler with the phrase "Who let the frogs out"! Pattern is stitched on 32 ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 117
Fabric:32ct. Linen Dark Olive
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Butter Believe It by Silver Creek Samplers
Butter Believe It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"I have a lot to say, maybe you should get popcorn" Model stitched on 18 Ct. Fog Aida by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 100
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
This versatile doll isn't just for the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Great for bridal shower, engagements, Valentine's Day! Includes 6...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 168
Fabric:28ct. Linen Light Mocha
Floss:Weeks,GentleArt,DMC Equivalent
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Shelf Control by Rogue Stitchery
No Shelf Control
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:199w x 126
Fabric:14ct. aida white
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack by Pickle Barrel Designs
Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring...Pickles!! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 211
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just One More Episode by Puntini Puntini
Just One More Episode
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Puntini Puntini
"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself" Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 63
Fabric:35ct. Linen Lambswool
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner by PinoyStitch
Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Mini Cross Stitch Pattern: Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner Design Source: Andy Nortnik DMC Floss Colors: 4 Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:156w x 155
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 4
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness is Pizza by Romy's Creations
Happiness is Pizza
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I have it all together by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together - I just forgot where I put it. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 260 x 199. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:260w x 199
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Petty by Lucy Beam
Petty
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches that says "Pray for me I'm petty". The model was stitched on 36ct. Tiramisu Opal by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 98
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Black Friday Queen by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Black Friday Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Rule the biggest shopping day of the year with this fun and festive design! Perfect for Black Friday enthusiasts who proudly wear the title...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 135
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A little dark humor with a clever twist! Featuring a mischievous opossum and a playful reminder to "Don't Die Before You're Dead," this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A witty design with a touch of dark humor, featuring woodland friends and the playful phrase, "And Please Hesitate to Call Me." Perfect for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shake Your Tail by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Shake Your Tail
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
AAN Privee Collection - Shake your bunny tail. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 122 x 123. Model stitched on White fabric using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 123
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Anxious by Lucy Beam
Anxious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A heartfelt, gently humorous design that blends honesty with charm. Featuring delicate florals and the candid phrase “Pray for me, I’m...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 95
Fabric:36ct. Linen
Floss:Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitter by Lucy Beam
Bitter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 96
Fabric:36ct. Linen Smoke Blue
Floss:Gentle Art
On Sale:$10.19
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