Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I UGLINESS CAN BE FIXED. STUPIDITY IS FOREVER. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Be A Stiletto In A Room Of Flats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Be A Stiletto In A Room Of Flats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Come To The Dark Side We Have Cookies by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Come To The Dark Side We Have Cookies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE COOKIES guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just A Person Standing In Front Of A Salad Asking It To Be A Donut by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just A Person Standing In Front Of A Salad Asking It To Be A Donut
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
This adorable piece from Mary Engelbreit features a couple of fun opossums and "Don't Die Before You're Dead". Sarcasm anyone?! Mary's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
This adorable piece from Mary Engelbreit features a business savvy raccoon and bunny with the line "And Please Hesitate to Call...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Winter Driving Tips by Imaginating
Winter Driving Tips
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fab Frog by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Fab Frog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Rebel Stitcher featuring a frog in underpants with an umbrella and the phrase "Stay weird and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 145
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All You Need is Coffee by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
All You Need is Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
All you need is ... coffee aroma, coffee scent, coffee taste, coffee strength ... Coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 127...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 132
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$16.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine-y Stitchers by Barefoot Needleart
Wine-y Stitchers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Barefoot Needleart
Cross stitch pattern from Barefoot Needleart featuring a wine bottle and the phrase, 'All my friends are wine-y Stitchers". Pattern is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 104
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Whisper
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works, Weeks Dye Works
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shake Your Tail by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Shake Your Tail
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
AAN Privee Collection - Shake your bunny tail. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 122 x 123. Model stitched on White fabric using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 123
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bakers Pro Tip by Imaginating
Bakers Pro Tip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A sweet (and slightly unhinged) reminder that cake is best enjoyed immediately. This playful cross-stitch pattern features a happy baker,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Anxious by Lucy Beam
Anxious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A heartfelt, gently humorous design that blends honesty with charm. Featuring delicate florals and the candid phrase “Pray for me, I’m...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 95
Fabric:36ct. Linen
Floss:Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Barefoot by Rosewood Manor
Barefoot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "If you are not barefoot, then you are overdressed"! Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pants by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
This is a printed cross stitch pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs. It features a whimsical design that says 'I can't decide what pants to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:136w x 99
Fabric:40ct. Linen
Floss:Classic Color Works
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitter by Lucy Beam
Bitter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 96
Fabric:36ct. Linen Smoke Blue
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Envious by Lucy Beam
Envious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 92
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stubborn by Lucy Beam
Stubborn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 78
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved 2 by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
a counted cross-stitch design featuring a cat-themed subject, available as a physical pattern leaflet. It is characterized as a detailed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:225w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When The Shoe Fit by Keslyn's
When The Shoe Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Keslyn's
Cross stitch pattern from Keslyn's featuring a witch's shoes and hat with the phrase "When the shoe fits, buy the hat"! Pattern is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:115w x 110
Fabric:28ct. Linen Peaceful Purple
Floss:DMC
$14.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WiFi Passwork (Family Friendly Version) by The Stitcherhood
WiFi Passwork (Family Friendly Version)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Here is a fun and funny cross stitch pattern that claims the household WiFi pattern is ” Better2ReadABook! ” in hopes that people will read...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray)
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Coffee by Iris Originals
Too Much Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee is the Answer by Iris Originals
Coffee is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is perfect for a coffee lover (me). Great as something for yourself, or for that coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Find Me Under The Palms by Romy's Creations
Find Me Under The Palms
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Pretzel Day by Stitchnmomma
I Love Pretzel Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re as big a fan of The Office as I am, you’ll completely understand this piece! Am I the only one that thinks the character of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 92
Floss:4 DMC Cotton Colors
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Call Me Cute by Peacock & Fig
Don't Call Me Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 98
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thrills & Spills by Peacock & Fig
Thrills & Spills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Nothing says “retro cross stitch” like a little blast from Scandinavian design past… Remember in the 70’s when printed paper towels were...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 161
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny 2 by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 103
Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny by White Willow Stitching
Skinny
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 137
Floss:DMC floss required.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Coffee Kick In by Romy's Creations
May Your Coffee Kick In
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Face That Cares by Peacock & Fig
Face That Cares
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Face That Cares cross stitch pattern is set in a lovely orchard featuring pretty shades of peach and pink, juxtaposed with the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 125
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Astrology by Peacock & Fig
Astrology
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether astrology is your thing or not, this humorous cross stitch pattern is sure to generate laughs. With vivid blues and purples and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 100
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fa La La Wine by Peacock & Fig
Fa La La Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Open up that box of wine and let’s make Christmas Carols fun again. “Tis the season to be boozy…” “Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 55
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lump of Coal by Peacock & Fig
Lump of Coal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Here’s the perfect gift to make for that family member that does all of their Christmas shopping at the dollar store. Tell them how much...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! DON'T KALE MY VIBE in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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