Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What purpose does your coffee serve? Needless to say, I'm a coffeeholic. I love coffee and I love stitching about coffee. This will make...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Goblins by Shakespeare's Peddler
Goblins
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler
Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 89
Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Mama Ain't Happy by Iris Originals
If Mama Ain't Happy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 62
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Lady by Artists Alley
Crazy Cat Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
The "Crazy Cat Lady" cross stitch pattern by Artists Alley is a humorous, beginner-friendly counted cross-stitch design featuring a quirky...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$8.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A fun, age-positive design with a playful sense of humor. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the relatable phrase “My body knows how old I am,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Craft Room by Shannon Christine Designs
Craft Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black
Floss:DMC
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - Major Cattitude by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - Major Cattitude
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
An Adorable CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by 95 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Out of Supplies by Iris Originals
Out of Supplies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We all know we're NOT going to run out of supplies. May get down low - but run out - can usually go into the 'stash' and find something.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 137
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods by Cross Stitch Wonders
Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Camping/Wine saying designed by Marcia Manning. Original artwork by Tara Reed Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful saying for any CROSS STITCH enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Coffee (or Beer, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) CROSS STITCH and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ruin Your Day by Imaginating
Ruin Your Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
When life rains on your parade, grab your umbrella, scowl proudly, and remember—ruining your day is a you job. This moody little stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Going to be Sensible by Iris Originals
Going to be Sensible
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, at least I'm going to try
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rough Week by Iris Originals
Rough Week
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"It's been a rough week. But on a positive side I didn't need any bail money and i didn't have to hide any bodies." Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Monkeys by Imaginating
Not My Monkeys
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
These cute monkeys take you under the Big Top to say this funny and familiar phrase!Not My Monkeys is designed to be stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 176
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seriously by Iris Originals
Seriously
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
About right - have YOU ever looked at someone and thought that? :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:6w x 5
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Badass Granddaughter by Iris Originals
Badass Granddaughter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is dedicated to my two wonderful granddaughters. Not little girls anymore but always wonderful girls. If you have a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:177w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Do Not Disturb by Iris Originals
Do Not Disturb
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, proceed with caution - especially on some days. This makes a great gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cluttered Kitchen by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen is a happy kitchen and this one is delirious! When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Gno-Me... by Sue Hillis Designs
To Gno-Me...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
To gno-me is to love me. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Heart button...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mystic Grey
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Will Follow You by Iris Originals
I Will Follow You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jingle Juice by Artists Alley
Jingle Juice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Safe Place by Iris Originals
Safe Place
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - that happens to me ALL THE TIME. I need one space designated as "safe place" and put everything there. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Decisive by Iris Originals
Be Decisive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Be decisive. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ring the Bell by Artists Alley
Ring the Bell
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 116 stitches wide by 138 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Insomnia by Rogue Stitchery
No Insomnia
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Strong Women by Sue Hillis Designs
Strong Women
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Women are like Teabags - We never know how strong we are until we are in hot water. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It was the Gnome! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by Black Cats Media. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:144w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stabby by The Stitcherhood
Stabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillage & Plunder by Sue Hillis Designs
Pillage & Plunder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Why work - when you can pillage and plunder. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A FUNNY ALEXA SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 159 stitches wide by 119 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:159w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Our of my Mouth by Iris Originals
Our of my Mouth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Must remember this - I certainly don't need to speak everything I think .
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm a coffee addict - so love everything coffee - just can't help myself from designing yet another 'cute' coffee saying.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old Age by Iris Originals
Old Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This applies both literally and figuratively. It IS hard to get back up, whether you're actually on the floor, or... it feels like you...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:152w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Moon was Full by The Stitcherhood
The Moon was Full
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
The Moon Was Full, a pretty, fun and whimsical cross stitch pattern, perfect for Wiccans or anyone with a sense of humor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #310 (black) and #648 (gray)
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Workout by Cross Stitch Wonders
Today's Workout
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Hilarious WINE SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 146 stitches wide by 157...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:146w x 157
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitcher's Mess by Iris Originals
Stitcher's Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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