Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Goodbye Lesson Plan Hello Sun Tan by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Goodbye Lesson Plan Hello Sun Tan
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - The End Is Near #hellosummer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - The End Is Near #hellosummer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 96 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/DRINKING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Design is 135 stitches wide by 98 stitches high. Included is a large/easy...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Rogue Stitchery
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a front-and-back, single-page (double-sided) pattern. The cover page is in full color and contains a photo of the stitched...
Pattern Details:
Size:8-1/8w X 4-1/8h in
$3.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Weird by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
$3.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stabby by The Stitcherhood
Stabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stab fabric not people. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 110. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "I'm Dead without My Coffee!" by StitchyFish Designs
"I'm Dead without My Coffee!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
If you are not able to function before coffee then I know you can relate to this pattern. A fun & quick little stitch for yourself or any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 80
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:1 DMC color
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Turkey Crossing by Cross-Point Designs
Turkey Crossing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Frame it or make it into a little pillow, this design will is sure to bring chuckles!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Coven by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven, a whimsical Wiccan Halloween cross stitch pattern. Model stitched on 14 count oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 57
Fabric:14ct. Aida oatmeal
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Insomnia by Rogue Stitchery
No Insomnia
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
I dont' have insomnia - I have a really good book and no respect for tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 32 x 105....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:21 DMC colors
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Need to Read by Rogue Stitchery
Need to Read
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a double-sided, single page. The first side is the cover page. It contains a full color photo of the stitched design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "A home is just a house without a cat!" by StitchyFish Designs
"A home is just a house without a cat!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
Here's on for all my cat loving friends who know a home is just a house without a cat!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:50w x 100
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC or your choice
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ew. People. by The Stitcherhood
Ew. People.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 58
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee by MarNic Designs
Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
A whimsical offering featuring a steaming cup of coffee with a little dog alongside holding a bone, and the verse "A Woman who loves her...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC, Kreinik, Rainbow Gallery PTB
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things I Like by The Stitcherhood
Things I Like
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Sense by The Stitcherhood
Make Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
I am under no obligation to make sense to you. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 63. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, List to do by Kiokiz
List to do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Plan Ahead & Follow Through by The Stitcherhood
Plan Ahead & Follow Through
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A wonderfully silly pair of cross stitch designs poking fun at one’s self for not planning ahead or following through to the end of a...
Pattern Details:
Size:see description
Floss:DMC #3799
Designer:The Stitcherhood
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 57
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My hobby by Kiokiz
My hobby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Broom Parking by The Stitcherhood
Broom Parking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A sign to remind everyone not to park in your spot. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 79. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Necessary Insanity by Cross-Point Designs
Necessary Insanity
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Great for the office! Featuring Felix, a real live twenty pound cat who sometimes gets himself into a little bit of trouble. A floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
Designer:The Stitcherhood
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Repeat by The Stitcherhood
Beach Repeat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Beach, repeat... a fun, whimsical nautical cross stitch pattern for any beach bum like me... or for lovely beach house decor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beige
Floss:DMC 931 or 840
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, British Accent by Kiokiz
British Accent
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
If I had a British accent - I would never shut up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83 x 80. Model stitched on 14ct Antique...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy since birth by Kiokiz
Sassy since birth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 63
Floss:DMC
Designer:
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Is This Day by Pine Glen Designs
Is This Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler askes the question that we all find ourselves asking on those days when "nothing goes right".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 63
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, You are my dino-mite by Kiokiz
You are my dino-mite
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:44w x 45
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What's A Little Fur Amoung Friends by MarNic Designs
What's A Little Fur Amoung Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:69w x 67
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stolen Mind by Pine Glen Designs
Stolen Mind
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler is for all the times that children have sent their mothers mumbling from the room. The next time someone asks if you have...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 81
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Warning by Pine Glen Designs
Warning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If you have been accused of having an "attitude" this is the sampler for you. Simply place this disclaimer in plain view and feel free to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus (male youth) by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus (male youth)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Looking for a male version of our popular ‘Addiction vs. Virus’ design? We have come up with this male youth version for the younger males...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Cream
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler by The Stitcherhood
Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
The Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler is perfect for fans of subversive, snarky or humorous cross stitch patterns and designs. - Stitch Count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC floss: #3799 or any colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Pine Glen Designs
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If the sun doesn't rise for you until a steam rises from your first cuppa... this is the chart for you.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Summer Sky
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus (male) by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus (male)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If our male youth version of our popular “Addiction vs Virus” is not suitable for the man in your life, perhaps this one will suit your man...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine-y Stitchers by Barefoot Needleart
Wine-y Stitchers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Barefoot Needleart
Cross stitch pattern from Barefoot Needleart featuring a wine bottle and the phrase, 'All my friends are wine-y Stitchers". Pattern is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 104
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Whisper
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works, Weeks Dye Works
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WiFi Passwork (Family Friendly Version) by The Stitcherhood
WiFi Passwork (Family Friendly Version)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Here is a fun and funny cross stitch pattern that claims the household WiFi pattern is ” Better2ReadABook! ” in hopes that people will read...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray)
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Addiction vs. Virus by Pine Glen Designs
Addiction vs. Virus
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Model stitched on 28ct. Delicate Teal Jobelan
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool - She's(He's) Very Wise. Licensed artwork by Anastasia Feya. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 160 x 146....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 146
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN COFFEE AND BEER saying/phrase design. Designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 80 stitches wide by 128...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 128
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great BEER saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A BEER IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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