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Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns
Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Lump of Coal
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Peacock & Fig
Here’s the perfect gift to make for that family member that does all of their Christmas shopping at the dollar store. Tell them how much...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
60w x 60
Fabric:
0
Floss:
DMC
$5.98
Add Pattern to Cart
"Let's Party!"
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by StitchyFish Designs
Brand New! "Let's Party!" by StitchyFishDesigns It's Halloween and all the little ghoulie's are out to party... but some may be more...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:
0
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Lee Fisher - StitchyFish Designs
$5.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Bookstore
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
108w x 32
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
$5.99
Add Pattern to Cart
Jesus And Coffee
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
Pattern Details:
Fabric:
0
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Old and Wise
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
93w x 90
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
118w x 139
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Old People
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
70w x 87
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
When I Was a Kid
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
95w x 91
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 143 x 133....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
143w x 133
Fabric:
14ct. Aida
Floss:
DMC & Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Love You To The Moon
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
Shoot for the stars with this sweet and whimsical design! Featuring a colorful rocket ship, crescent moon, and twinkling stars, it’s...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
84w x 127
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Let's Go To Therapy
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
A fun and colorful project that explains what exactly is the best therapy around!Let's Go To Therapy is designed to be stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
131w x 116
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sit on the Floor
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
98w x 115
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Getting Older
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
83w x 93
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Act My Age
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
95w x 81
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Rolling Eyes
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?" I'm sure you never do that - unfortunately I do it frequently so this is an appropriate saying...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
80w x 112
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Aged Wine
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
43w x 140
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
View Pattern
Common Sense
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
60w x 62
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
192w x 198
Fabric:
0
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Laundry Prayer
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
85w x 113
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
View Pattern
If Mama Ain't Happy
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
104w x 62
Fabric:
14ct. aida white
Floss:
2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
198w x 198
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Will Follow You
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
102w x 64
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Be Decisive
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Be decisive. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
71w x 73
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
2 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
The Moon was Full
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Stitcherhood
The Moon Was Full, a pretty, fun and whimsical cross stitch pattern, perfect for Wiccans or anyone with a sense of humor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
120w x 92
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
DMC #310 (black) and #648 (gray)
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Stitcher's Mess
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
89w x 89
Fabric:
14ct. Aida
Floss:
8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Retired
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
91w x 91
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Too Tired
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty well describes me these days. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
88w x 87
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Bail Money
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
117w x 89
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Dog in Charge
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
86w x 93
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
7 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male dog) :-) A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
160w x 146
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Poke it with a Stick
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
I'm not much on seizing the day. I just kinda poke it with a stick! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 80 x 91. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
80w x 91
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Unstoppable
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Unstoppable - if I could just get started. Unfortunately, that would be me on many days :-) Great gift for a busy friend - or stitch for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
95w x 96
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Bitch
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
Bitch is a subversive and sassy saying cross stitch chart designed by my dear friend StitchBitch. This line of charts requires a twisted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
45w x 51
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Inside Every Old Person
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened! And how true is that?! But you know - at least we're old - better than...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
92w x 99
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
So you have a cat who wakes you --- or you have a friend that does. This is a compliment chart to my "My Dog". So now both are available...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
110w x 82
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Bears will Kill You
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
I've heard many times, "that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger"...but I sure don't want to meet a bear - don't think I could...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
131w x 103
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Note to Self
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yup, everyday. Just because I think it doesn't mean I should say it!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
107w x 90
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
160w x 155
Fabric:
16ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Don't Interrupt
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions. The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
160w x 140
Fabric:
18ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Stupid Things
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Another 'old people' chart - and I'm entitled to offer this.... since I'm old. Hopefully I'm not doing quite as many stupid things,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
110w x 103
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Love Chocolate
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions. The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
134w x 54
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
6 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Don't Panic
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by The Stitcherhood
Anti-bully, pro community, individual empowerment cross stitch pattern.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
112w x 109
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
DMC #824 (navy blue) and #3325 (light blue)
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Stupid
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
Stupid is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches as well as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
52w x 70
Fabric:
0
Floss:
7 DMC floss colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
The Queen
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Imaginating
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 105. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
105w x 105
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
10 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN COFFEE AND BEER saying/phrase design. Designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 80 stitches wide by 128...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
80w x 128
Fabric:
16ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Grumpy Old Lady
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yes, sometimes I'm a grumpy old lady, but hey - I'm still above the grass, so I'm blessed.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 96
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Hot Date
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
81w x 90
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
New Day
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Fabric:
0
Floss:
9 DMC floss colors
Designer:
StitchBitch
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Rise & Shine
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Don't know about you - but I'm thinking I'm not the only one that isn't bright eyed when she gets out of bed. Great chart for a friend who...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
77w x 94
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
The Reason I Wake up Early
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
MY DOG - is the reason I wake up in the morning.... cute cross stitch for the dog lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 84
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
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