Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It was the Gnome! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by Black Cats Media. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:144w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Our of my Mouth by Iris Originals
Our of my Mouth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Must remember this - I certainly don't need to speak everything I think .
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm a coffee addict - so love everything coffee - just can't help myself from designing yet another 'cute' coffee saying.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Moon was Full by The Stitcherhood
The Moon was Full
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
In my defense, the moon was full and I was unsupervised. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitcher's Mess by Iris Originals
Stitcher's Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Retired by Iris Originals
Retired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What do you call a person who is happy on Monday - Retired. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 91. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Workout by Cross Stitch Wonders
Today's Workout
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Hilarious WINE SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 146 stitches wide by 157...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:146w x 157
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who proudly speak their mind, this playful design features a bold "I Have No Filter" warning that's perfect for adding a little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Celebrate what makes you unique with this bright and uplifting design! A fun reminder that you're not weird—you're simply one of a kind and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life's toughest decisions are sometimes the sweetest! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who has ever wished a salad would...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A colorful reminder to choose happiness and let go of what others think. This uplifting design is perfect for anyone who embraces life with...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone whose brain never seems to hit the pause button, this witty design perfectly captures the art of overthinking. A fun and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little sarcastic, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This witty design is perfect for anyone who appreciates sharp humor and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Stand out from the crowd with this fun and empowering design featuring the inspiring reminder to "Be a Stiletto in a Room of Flats." A...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For the beauty lovers who know mascara solves almost everything! This fun and fashionable design is perfect for anyone who believes life's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bail Money by Iris Originals
Bail Money
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Tired by Iris Originals
Too Tired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty well describes me these days. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Margarita Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Margarita Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 117
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog in Charge by Imaginating
Dog in Charge
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eat Cake by Sue Hillis Designs
Eat Cake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 62 x 91. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Friendly Advice by Imaginating
Friendly Advice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting “send.” With...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Witch by Bobbie G Designs
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Productive by Iris Originals
Be Productive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I wake up every morning planning to be productive then the voice inside my head says..."Ha, Ha, Good one!" And we laugh & laugh and drink...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Liberty Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Liberty Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Booty. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 65 x 83. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Khaki
Floss:10 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah, and some days I'm not even sure what "normal" is!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Oh Quaran-Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
Oh Quaran-Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 67...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eyeroll by Imaginating
Eyeroll
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD ... Camping by Cross Stitch Wonders
OCD ... Camping
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bloody Mary Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bloody Mary Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 117
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Good Friend by Sue Hillis Designs
A Good Friend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A good friend is like a bra - Close to your heart and very supportive. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:46w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah by Iris Originals
Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever feel this way in the morning - Some days I'm moving about as fast as this little guy. Added him because my granddaughter loves...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 85
Fabric:14ct. picture this plus artic
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much to Do by Iris Originals
So Much to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ah...so much to do - so little desire to do it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 94. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, This Age by Iris Originals
This Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Dog by Iris Originals
Not My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, only MY dog gets to boss me around.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMX
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dorothy's Discovery by Silver Creek Samplers
Dorothy's Discovery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen
Floss:DMC, WDW & GA
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Drink Coffee by Sweet Wing Studio
To Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
For the true coffee lovers out there—this fun and cheeky design says it all! Bold lettering and cozy colors make this a perfect project to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 90
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Mushroom
Floss:WDW, DMC and CCW
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk to Myself by Iris Originals
Talk to Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I talk to myself when I stitch - Sometimes I need expert advice! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 101 x 105. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best FRiend by Iris Originals
Best FRiend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute saying about your best friend - does she know too much - probably :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things I Like by The Stitcherhood
Things I Like
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male dog) :-) A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitch by White Willow Stitching
Bitch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bitch is a subversive and sassy saying cross stitch chart designed by my dear friend StitchBitch. This line of charts requires a twisted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:45w x 51
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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