Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY by Iris Originals
My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So you have a cat who wakes you --- or you have a friend that does. This is a compliment chart to my "My Dog". So now both are available...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bears will Kill You by Iris Originals
Bears will Kill You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've heard many times, "that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger"...but I sure don't want to meet a bear - don't think I could...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Note to Self by Iris Originals
Note to Self
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, everyday. Just because I think it doesn't mean I should say it!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ex-People Person by Imaginating
Ex-People Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This cheeky pattern features the phrase “I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me”, with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Younger by Imaginating
Younger
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Don't we all wish we get older while looking younger?! This Mary Engelbreit design is the perfect project to gift to a friend or family...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 43
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sewing Room by Iris Originals
Sewing Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This actually applies to my sewing room, craft area, office - wherever - and let's don't forget the room where our cross stitch stash is!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Train of Thought by Iris Originals
Train of Thought
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, and this is happening way too often~!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Exercise ... Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
I'd Exercise ... Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great EXERCISE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Dinosaurs by Iris Originals
Coffee and Dinosaurs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, those poor dinosaurs. Thank God we have coffee - my hubby used to say I just needed a coffee IV. Great gift for that coffee lover in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much to Do by Iris Originals
So Much to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pretty much says it all -
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Weird by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
Fabric:0
On Sale:$3.39
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse Me by Iris Originals
Excuse Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have squirrels - do you have squirrels? They are adorably annoying little creatures and love bird seed. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Become a Senior by Iris Originals
Become a Senior
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So sad (not really).... but it's not quite a exciting as it was in high school
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "I'm Dead without My Coffee!" by StitchyFish Designs
"I'm Dead without My Coffee!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
"Dead without Coffee" pretty much speaks for itself....or for me, in the morning. If you are not able to function before your caffiene...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 80
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.39
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Interrupt by Imaginating
Don't Interrupt
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 140
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Before My Morning Coffee by Artecy Cross Stitch
Before My Morning Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:58 DMC colors
On Sale:$13.55
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Warrior Queen by Iris Originals
Warrior Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - older and meaner all the time. I like the title "Warrior Queen"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Little Dog by Iris Originals
My Little Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, this is SO TRUE of my little dog. He is barking as I type - probably because a cricket jumped outside. But, he's a sweetie, small...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Aida
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid Things by Iris Originals
Stupid Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another 'old people' chart - and I'm entitled to offer this.... since I'm old. Hopefully I'm not doing quite as many stupid things,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 150
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Chocolate by Imaginating
I Love Chocolate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:134w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulting Is Hard by Rogue Stitchery
Adulting Is Hard
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee! A favorite drink of so many of us. This pattern calls out to the coffee lover. Designed with a whimsical saying, it uses...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wonder Years by Iris Originals
Wonder Years
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Somedayto be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Panic by The Stitcherhood
Don't Panic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Anti-bully, pro community, individual empowerment cross stitch pattern.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #824 (navy blue) and #3325 (light blue)
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wicked Witch & Grumpy Toad by Waxing Moon Designs
Wicked Witch & Grumpy Toad
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Waxing Moon Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 107
Fabric:0
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 63 x 78. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss. Great project for perforated paper,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida Vintage Blue Whisper
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bras & Panties by Lizzie Kate
Bras & Panties
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
On Sale:$10.59
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Mood by Iris Originals
Today's Mood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's usually the case with me. Good way to start the day is with good coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid by White Willow Stitching
Stupid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Stupid is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches as well as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:52w x 70
Fabric:0
Floss:7 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I used to be the Energizer Bunny, but since I've gotten older I'm learning to "do nothing"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All Day by Iris Originals
All Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC
On Sale:$5.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Sense by The Stitcherhood
Make Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun cross stitch design with a snarky comment and colorful blocks, perfect decor for teens, or parents of teens! Stitch Count: 63 High...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), #826 (blue) and #912 (green)
On Sale:$4.25
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Saying by Iris Originals
Just Saying
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Since I have awesome grandchildren - I'm sure this is true (of course, I do have awesome children too).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor of DMC
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Lady Nurse by PinoyStitch
Sassy Lady Nurse
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross stitch Sassy Ladies speak their mind! Designed retro style with quirky quotes for a fun project. Easy stitch, mostly full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 11
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Queen by Imaginating
The Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 105. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Teacher Off Duty by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Teacher Off Duty
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 68
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smell the Pages by Rogue Stitchery
Smell the Pages
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
A gentle reminder to slow down and savor the moment. This lovely design features an open book framed by blooming roses and the phrase...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.05
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed by PinoyStitch
Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Mini Cross Stitch Pattern: Queen: She Who Must Be Obeyed Design Source: Antique Chart Adaptation DMC Floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 177
Fabric:14ct. Aida Red
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 1
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Believe by Sue Hillis Designs
Believe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
What Santa brings if you don't Believe. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Everything by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Everything
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 99
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 2
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional by Sue Hillis Designs
DysFUNctional
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Our Family puts the Fun in Dysfunctional. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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