Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crabby Day by Sue Hillis Designs
Crabby Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Ever wake up crabby because you’ve got nothing to stitch? This cheeky little design captures that exact feeling—with a bright coral crab...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Features a cute dinosaur with the phrase - My body knows how old I am, but my mind just refuses to believe it! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful saying for any CROSS STITCH enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Coffee (or Beer, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) CROSS STITCH and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Badass Granddaughter by Iris Originals
Badass Granddaughter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is dedicated to my two wonderful granddaughters. Not little girls anymore but always wonderful girls. If you have a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:177w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Our of my Mouth by Iris Originals
Our of my Mouth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Must remember this - I certainly don't need to speak everything I think .
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who proudly speak their mind, this playful design features a bold "I Have No Filter" warning that's perfect for adding a little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Celebrate what makes you unique with this bright and uplifting design! A fun reminder that you're not weird—you're simply one of a kind and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life's toughest decisions are sometimes the sweetest! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who has ever wished a salad would...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A colorful reminder to choose happiness and let go of what others think. This uplifting design is perfect for anyone who embraces life with...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone whose brain never seems to hit the pause button, this witty design perfectly captures the art of overthinking. A fun and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little sarcastic, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This witty design is perfect for anyone who appreciates sharp humor and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Stand out from the crowd with this fun and empowering design featuring the inspiring reminder to "Be a Stiletto in a Room of Flats." A...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For the beauty lovers who know mascara solves almost everything! This fun and fashionable design is perfect for anyone who believes life's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eat Cake by Sue Hillis Designs
Eat Cake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 62 x 91. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Liberty Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Liberty Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Booty. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 65 x 83. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Khaki
Floss:10 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah, and some days I'm not even sure what "normal" is!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Piracy by Sue Hillis Designs
Piracy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Piracy - A viable career option. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, At That Age by Iris Originals
At That Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I guess if one lives long enough, this can be correct.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Younger by Imaginating
Younger
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Don't we all wish we get older while looking younger?! This Mary Engelbreit design is the perfect project to gift to a friend or family...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 143
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any READING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Tea (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Cocktails) READ BOOKS and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Dinosaurs by Iris Originals
Coffee and Dinosaurs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, those poor dinosaurs. Thank God we have coffee - my hubby used to say I just needed a coffee IV. Great gift for that coffee lover in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse Me by Iris Originals
Excuse Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have squirrels - do you have squirrels? They are adorably annoying little creatures and love bird seed. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Of Course I'm Cute by Iris Originals
Of Course I'm Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I’m cute… haven’t you seen my great-gram! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Become a Senior by Iris Originals
Become a Senior
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So sad (not really).... but it's not quite a exciting as it was in high school
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wonder Years by Iris Originals
Wonder Years
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Somedayto be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee & Dinosaurs #2 by Iris Originals
Coffee & Dinosaurs #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee is vital for survival - Dinosaurs didn't have coffee - Look how that turned out. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Awake by Iris Originals
I'm Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm awake! But, if you're expecting bright eyed & bushy tailed - go catch a squirrel. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 117 x...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I used to be the Energizer Bunny, but since I've gotten older I'm learning to "do nothing"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 63 x 78. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss. Great project for perforated paper,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida Vintage Blue Whisper
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Cat Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 74
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience Tested by Iris Originals
Patience Tested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I had my patience tested - I was negative. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 107 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Stuff by Iris Originals
Lots of Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I had a lot of stuff to do today...Now, I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 96. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rainbow Cups by Rogue Stitchery
Rainbow Cups
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 85
Fabric:14ct. aida white
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When you get a new Dog by Iris Originals
When you get a new Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
As much as I love my baby - this is absolutely true. Wherever I go in the house, he's right next to me. I'm never alone!!! Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Mine by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine is designed by StitchBitch and exclusive to White Willow Stitching. This design does include both full stitches and backstitching....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:50w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Little Toe by Iris Originals
Your Little Toe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That's how it works at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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