Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Our of my Mouth by Iris Originals
Our of my Mouth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Must remember this - I certainly don't need to speak everything I think .
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah, and some days I'm not even sure what "normal" is!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eat Cake by Sue Hillis Designs
Eat Cake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Liberty Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Liberty Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Booty. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Piracy by Sue Hillis Designs
Piracy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Piracy - A viable career option. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, At That Age by Iris Originals
At That Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I guess if one lives long enough, this can be correct.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any READING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Tea (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Cocktails) READ BOOKS and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Younger by Imaginating
Younger
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Don't we all wish we get older while looking younger?! This Mary Engelbreit design is the perfect project to gift to a friend or family...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 43
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Dinosaurs by Iris Originals
Coffee and Dinosaurs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, those poor dinosaurs. Thank God we have coffee - my hubby used to say I just needed a coffee IV. Great gift for that coffee lover in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse Me by Iris Originals
Excuse Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have squirrels - do you have squirrels? They are adorably annoying little creatures and love bird seed. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Become a Senior by Iris Originals
Become a Senior
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So sad (not really).... but it's not quite a exciting as it was in high school
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wonder Years by Iris Originals
Wonder Years
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
At my age, it's sooo easy to 'wonder' where I've put things. Somedayto be found, but not necessarily when I'm looking for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
OMG They Got Me a Whole Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 63 x 78. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss. Great project for perforated paper,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida Vintage Blue Whisper
Floss:7 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I used to be the Energizer Bunny, but since I've gotten older I'm learning to "do nothing"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Cat Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 74
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee & Dinosaurs #2 by Iris Originals
Coffee & Dinosaurs #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, coffee-loving design that speaks the truth we all know. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the bold message “Coffee is vital for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When you get a new Dog by Iris Originals
When you get a new Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
As much as I love my baby - this is absolutely true. Wherever I go in the house, he's right next to me. I'm never alone!!! Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rainbow Cups by Rogue Stitchery
Rainbow Cups
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 85
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Of Course I'm Cute by Iris Originals
Of Course I'm Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A sassy, confidence-boosting design with a wink of humor. Featuring a cute character and the playful phrase “Of course I’m cute… haven’t...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience Tested by Iris Originals
Patience Tested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that would be me for sure!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Mine by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine is designed by StitchBitch and exclusive to White Willow Stitching. This design does include both full stitches and backstitching....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:50w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Little Toe by Iris Originals
Your Little Toe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That's how it works at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Awake by Iris Originals
I'm Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says me first thing in the morning.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Unstoppable by Iris Originals
Unstoppable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, sometimes that's the most difficult part - just getting startd.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Stuff by Iris Originals
Lots of Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - that's my usual day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 Anchor or DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shit Happens by White Willow Stitching
Shit Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Calling all those with a twisted sense of humor. StitchBitch has made a simple fact of life come alive in cross stitch. No smell included!
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
Fabric:0
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Matilda Mallstomper by Alma Lynne Designs
Matilda Mallstomper
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alma Lynne Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 248
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Find It by Iris Originals
When I Find It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Happens to me all the time.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Frogs be Few by Iris Originals
May Your Frogs be Few
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 900
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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