Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns - Page 7

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Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.

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Hissy Fit

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:99w x 136

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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I'm a Classic

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, getting old does have it's benefits - I'm still above the grass - BUT, I'm also becoming a "classic".

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:106w x 97

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Controlling my Tongue

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, sadly this is true most of the time!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:84w x 85

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Dear Lord... She's Awake

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:65w x 80

Fabric:14ct. Aida

Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors

$6.50

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Over the Hill

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

I'll never be over the hill - I'm too tired to climb it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 78 x 87. Model stitched on 14ct White...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:78w x 87

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

"I drink coffee for your protection". Excellent gift for that coffee loving friend, or maybe for yourself.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:85w x 88

Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite

Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor

$6.50

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Vision Problem

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

About right for a lot of days for me.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:90w x 78

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Spilling Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 113 x 115. Model stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:113w x 115

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, I wish!!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:80w x 86

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Cupcake

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:118w x 77

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss

$6.50

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Lots of Things

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

If I had the energy - or the want to - that I had when I was 25 (or even 50) - I'd be a superwoman. Sadly, age is catching up with me and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:110w x 129

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Me, Weird?

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Me weird? I think you mean very freakin' unique! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 96. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:99w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 129

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Tips for Falling Asleep

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Don't ask me how I know this. Oh yeah, I've watched other members of my family do this. I would never think of doing it.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:108w x 98

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 skeins Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Proceed with Caution

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Okay, I know lots of people who need this sign (not me, of course). Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 130. Model stitched...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 130

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

This design pretty much says it all. Where is my patience - must be at the bottom of my coffee cup.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:84w x 80

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Decaf Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 87

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor

$6.50

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What Your Dog Thinks

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Good message - I hope I can live up to my little dog's ideaof me.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:82w x 83

Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Swift as a Gazelle

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:99w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww

$6.50

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Coffee in the Morning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 88

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor

$6.50

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Lose Something

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Oh yeah! That's my life these days. I just wish I knew where all those "safe places" are.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:93w x 88

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Coffee O'Clock

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:85w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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WD-40

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that pretty much says it for me lots of days.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:105w x 85

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Respect for my Elders

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

True statement - for me at least. Easy stitch, cute as a gift.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 108

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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My Blood Type

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:88w x 58

Fabric:16ct. Aida White

Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors

$6.50

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Not Enough Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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The Elderly

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:116w x 84

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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When I Was a Kid #2

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:79w x 80

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss

$6.50

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Dear Lord, My Dog

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:80w x 54

Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue

Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor

$6.50

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Medic Alert Bracelet

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:103w x 112

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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I'd Pick You

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs

"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:71w x 39

Fabric:18ct. Aida China White

Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC

$6.50

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Early Bird

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:83w x 95

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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My Superpower

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:87w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Too Much Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:135w x 140

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Santa's Helpers

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs

Features colorful Christmas cocktails beneath the phrase “Santa’s Real Helpers.” With its bright colors, charming details and lighthearted...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:67w x 67

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

The gnome can be stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch counts: 130 x 116 (gnome &...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:130w x 116

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:130w x 117

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:148w x 117

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Ms. Beer Gnome

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:145w x 115

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Mr. Beer Gnome

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:128w x 115

Valentine Gnome - Roses are Red ... BEER!

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Designed from exclusive licensed artwork by Art Matters Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 128. Model stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 128

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:15 DMC colors

On Sale:$6.79

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Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE!

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... WINE! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 128

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC

On Sale:$6.79

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I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any HUNTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps!...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 90

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO I. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO II. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO III

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO III. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Pillow Chat - PLANTS TRIO

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - PLANTS TRIO. 3 wonderful Plants themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches. Suggestion is if...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

On Sale:$6.79

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Christmas with my GNOMIES

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:125w x 396

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC

On Sale:$6.79

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Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:39w x 55

Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery

Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:83w x 85

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC

$6.98

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