Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Me, Weird? by Iris Originals
Me, Weird?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Me weird? I think you mean very freakin' unique! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 96. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Life by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Life
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
A quotables word art pattern with little or no backstitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 107. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Matilda Mallstomper by Alma Lynne Designs
Matilda Mallstomper
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alma Lynne Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 180 x 248. Model stitched on 14ct Antique White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 248
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:39 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not OCD by Iris Originals
I'm Not OCD
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Would you really do this - turn the toilet paper roll to go a different way at someone else's house? I've sure been tempted.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sexy Chick by Peacock & Fig
Sexy Chick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Inspired by a vintage illustration, this sweet little retro cross stitch pattern is perfect for any home decor or office.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Necessary Insanity by Cross-Point Designs
Necessary Insanity
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Great for the office! Featuring Felix, a real live twenty pound cat who sometimes gets himself into a little bit of trouble. A floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Attitude Adjustment by Iris Originals
Attitude Adjustment
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This may not apply to you - but it definitely does to me - attitude adjustment in a mug. How appropriate :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spite & Caffeine by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Spite & Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:191w x 91
Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:Cottage Garden Threads
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Have And To Fold by Silver Creek Samplers
To Have And To Fold
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
A humorous, vintage-inspired sampler that turns everyday chores into something worth smiling about. Featuring playful typography and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 98
Fabric:18ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$13.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Be Crabby! by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
I'd Be Crabby!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
So just hand over the cross stitching and nobody will get pinched! This design is worked with whole stitches and backstitching.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:DMC
$5.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee - When Size Matters by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee - When Size Matters
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of two pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design, stitch count with fabric sizes for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 102
Fabric:14ct. aida
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... WINE! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Look in the Mirror by Iris Originals
Look in the Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do You Like Me Now by Rogue Stitchery
How Do You Like Me Now
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern features colorful block letters and a smiley face with a mischievous grin. It can be either stitched for framing or...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
$3.38
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Positive Sign by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign, a humorous, easy and fun cross stitch design! Model stitched on 14 count fiddler oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC #3799
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Fitness Sore Today by PinoyStitch
Quotables Fitness Sore Today
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 72
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 8
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Food by Artecy Cross Stitch
Too Much Food
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:178w x 211
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:59 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Minis: Witchy Woman by PinoyStitch
Minis: Witchy Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross Stitch Pattern: Witchy Woman Designed by: ©...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 48
Floss:DMC Colors: 4
Designer:© PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Water is Important by Iris Originals
Water is Important
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Without water you cannot make coffee - and I'm all about the coffee. This will make a cute little gift for that coffee lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tips for Falling Asleep by Iris Originals
Tips for Falling Asleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't ask me how I know this. Oh yeah, I've watched other members of my family do this. I would never think of doing it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shoelaces by Iris Originals
Shoelaces
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Lady Care by PinoyStitch
Sassy Lady Care
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross stitch Sassy Ladies speak their mind! Designed retro style with quirky quotes for a fun project. Easy stitch, mostly full stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 13
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Shelf Control by Rogue Stitchery
No Shelf Control
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:199w x 126
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 1 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, Good things come to those who Bait was created from Artwork by Gomolach.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I May Rise by Artecy Cross Stitch
I May Rise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:184w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:46 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer... by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer - helping men to dance since 1862. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Find It by Iris Originals
When I Find It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Happens to me all the time.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
Designer:The Stitcherhood
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack by Pickle Barrel Designs
Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
For all of you pickle lovers out there I present to you a pickle-icious 3-pack called "SWEET MIXED PICKLES"! Even better you could stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 211
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Proceed with Caution by Iris Originals
Proceed with Caution
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Okay, I know lots of people who need this sign (not me, of course). Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 130. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Frogs be Few by Iris Originals
May Your Frogs be Few
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Your Dog Thinks by Iris Originals
What Your Dog Thinks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Good message - I hope I can live up to my little dog's ideaof me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:82w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm: the perfect answer to every stupid question. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 168 x 151. Model stitched on 14ct fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:168w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:13 DMC colors
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience & Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This design pretty much says it all. Where is my patience - must be at the bottom of my coffee cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Repeat by The Stitcherhood
Beach Repeat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Beach, repeat... a fun, whimsical nautical cross stitch pattern for any beach bum like me... or for lovely beach house decor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beige
Floss:DMC 931 or 840
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Specials by Iris Originals
Today's Specials
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's the special many days - lack of sleep, up to early and definitely low on patience. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, People Skills by Iris Originals
People Skills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I made it though the day without beating anyone with a chair, I'd say my people skills are improving".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Sorry by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry, I ran out of Coffee, so today is cancelled. Easy chart - great for that coffee drinker.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee All You Need by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee All You Need
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 103
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 3
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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