Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Matilda Mallstomper by Alma Lynne Designs
Matilda Mallstomper
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alma Lynne Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 180 x 248. Model stitched on 14ct Antique White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 248
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:39 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Frogs be Few by Iris Originals
May Your Frogs be Few
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Find It by Iris Originals
When I Find It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I find it - I don't need it - When I need it - I can't find it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 85. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do I? by White Willow Stitching
How Do I?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Light Up! by White Willow Stitching
Light Up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Light Up! is designed by StitchBitch. Created for those with a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. This chart does use both full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee First by Iris Originals
Coffee First
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You go ahead and seize the day - I need coffee first!! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95 x 77. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Knew I'd Get Old by Iris Originals
Knew I'd Get Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it feels like it just sorta happened one day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Happns by Iris Originals
Life Happns
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Always - coffee always helps!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:13 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Frost Please by X's & Oh's
No Frost Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Fairy by Iris Originals
Coffee Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience and Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee is the Answer by Iris Originals
Coffee is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is perfect for a coffee lover (me). Great as something for yourself, or for that coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skip the Fries by Stitchnmomma
Skip the Fries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Never skip the fries, sometimes they are the best part. *NOTES ABOUT THE STITCHED MODEL* I stitched the model on a cotton french fry...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.20
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Time and Friends by Iris Originals
Time and Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 79 x 102. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Going to be Sensible by Iris Originals
Going to be Sensible
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This year I am going to be sensible and behave myself - Stop laughing I might be able to do it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk to Myself by Iris Originals
Talk to Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I talk to myself when I stitch - Sometimes I need expert advice! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 101 x 105. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Productive by Iris Originals
Be Productive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I wake up every morning planning to be productive then the voice inside my head says..."Ha, Ha, Good one!" And we laugh & laugh and drink...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Mood by Iris Originals
Today's Mood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's usually the case with me. Good way to start the day is with good coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Priceless by Iris Originals
I'm Priceless
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - priceless
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Tea by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Tea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Happened So Fast by Iris Originals
It Happened So Fast
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I knew one day I'd get old. But how fast it happened was a bit of a surprise. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 76 x 83. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sometimes by Iris Originals
Sometimes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee - it's called sleeping. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 135. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 135
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Always One by Rosewood Manor
Always One
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "There is always one in every crowd"! Pattern is stitched on 28 ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Are Boys by Homespun Elegance Ltd
What Are Boys
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Homespun Elegance Ltd
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Girl by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Girl
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Are Girls by Homespun Elegance Ltd
What Are Girls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Homespun Elegance Ltd
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Boy by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 33
Fabric:14ct. aida
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Work by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Barefoot by Rosewood Manor
Barefoot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "If you are not barefoot, then you are overdressed"! Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 2 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work, was created from Artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 3 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, There's always time for one more cast, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 1 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, Good things come to those who Bait was created from Artwork by Gomolach.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 4 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, I'd rather be fishing, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only full cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Women Who Behave by Sue Hillis Designs
Women Who Behave
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Women who behave - Rarely make history. Handcuffs charm included. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Sage/Summer Khaki
Floss:13 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate's Creed by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate's Creed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Perfect for framing, gifting, or hanging in your crafty cove, Pirate’s Creed is a hilarious nod to creative grit—whether you're sewing at...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine a Bit by Sue Hillis Designs
Wine a Bit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Bold stitched in rich wine tones, the cheeky message “Wine a bit… you’ll feel better" is perfect for wine lovers with a sense of humor!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:53w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Gno-Me... by Sue Hillis Designs
To Gno-Me...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
To gno-me is to love me. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Heart button...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mystic Grey
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillage & Plunder by Sue Hillis Designs
Pillage & Plunder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Why work - when you can pillage and plunder. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
$8.00
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