Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Elderly by Iris Originals
The Elderly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord, My Dog by Iris Originals
Dear Lord, My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Medic Alert Bracelet by Iris Originals
Medic Alert Bracelet
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Coffee by Iris Originals
Too Much Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Protecting Mama by Iris Originals
Protecting Mama
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rough Week by Iris Originals
Rough Week
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"It's been a rough week - But on a positive side I didn't need any bail money and I didn't have to hide any bodies." Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seriously by Iris Originals
Seriously
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Have you ever just looked at someone and said...seriously?? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you don't see coffee in my hand - just turn around and walk away slowly. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 94. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All Day by Iris Originals
All Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Professional Help by Iris Originals
Professional Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We probably all need professional help at some point - but I could use these on a daily basis :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bench Press a Buick by Iris Originals
Bench Press a Buick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've felt that way sometimes. Great chart to remind yourself how strong you really are - or a great gift for that super friend. Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Owner vs Resume by Iris Originals
Owner vs Resume
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have either a cat or dog you'll appreciate this chart. I have both and this fits pretty well.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Finally Got it Together by Iris Originals
Finally Got it Together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute, fun chart - "Finally got it altogether, but I forgot where I put it."
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Magic Beans by Iris Originals
Magic Beans
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee design - Fairy tales and magic beans... turn me into a human.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 66
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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