Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wednesday - friday by Iris Originals
Wednesday - friday
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Goodness - sometimes don't you just look at that calendar and think - or no, it's only Wednesday when I was ready for Friday?! This says...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine by White Willow Stitching
Sunshine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A great design for those with a twisted sense of humor. The "censored" section showed on the image of the design is not an actual part of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 71
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Weird by Iris Originals
Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it really is! Yes, I'm old - but in my mind I don't feel old. I suspect there are many like me. Great for yourself or gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Work on Your Problem by Iris Originals
Work on Your Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever had someone who wanted you to drop everything and work on.... well, you know. Cute saying for an office wall - makes a great gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Worry by Iris Originals
Worry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Worry is a misuse of imagingation. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 79 x 54. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I am Old....Grandchildren by MarNic Designs
When I am Old....Grandchildren
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
"If I'd know grandchildren were this much fun, I'd had them to begin with!" Model stitched 28 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with DMC floss and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 88
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
Floss:DMC Floss and Kreinik
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Explaining by Iris Originals
I'm Explaining
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just another cute saying - and yes, I am right :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Look in the Mirror by Iris Originals
Look in the Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably this never happens to you - but it's the same at my house every day. "Who is that person?"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 114
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dust Bunnies by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
Dust Bunnies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
A little light-hearted jab at our housekeeping efforts. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 103 x 130. Model stitched on 16ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:16ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:Gentle Art
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Minis: Chocolate is the Answer by PinoyStitch
Minis: Chocolate is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross Stitch Pattern: Chocolate is the Answer Designed by: ©...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 59
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Colors: 10
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Older I Get by Iris Originals
The Older I Get
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, unfortunately that sign says it all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not OCD by Iris Originals
I'm Not OCD
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Would you really do this - turn the toilet paper roll to go a different way at someone else's house? I've sure been tempted.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aging by The Stitcherhood
Aging
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Forget aging gracefully. Age DISgracefully. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 70. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shoelaces by Iris Originals
Shoelaces
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, People Skills by Iris Originals
People Skills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I made it though the day without beating anyone with a chair, I'd say my people skills are improving".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Specials by Iris Originals
Today's Specials
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's the special many days - lack of sleep, up to early and definitely low on patience. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Pee on It by Iris Originals
Just Pee on It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes I'd really like to do that - just pee on it and walk away.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great BEER saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A BEER IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kid Proof Lids by Iris Originals
Kid Proof Lids
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't know about you - but there are LOTS of lids out there that I can't open these days. They sure don't make things for older people to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sparkly Stuff by Iris Originals
Sparkly Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 77 x 97. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC & Rainbow Gallery
$6.00
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