Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns | Everything Cross Stitch

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Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.

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Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just In Case

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

BATHROOM CONCIERGE KITTY CAT This adorable design by Marcia Manning is 96 stitches wide by 96 stitches high. Four page color leaflet. A...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 96

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks

AAN Privee Collection - Official Black Friday Shopping Queen. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 132 x 135. Model stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:132w x 135

Fabric:32ct. Linen White

Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy It Drives People Crazy

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Born To Argue

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling Is My Cardio

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - I Run A Tight Shipwreck

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I I'M NOT WEIRD I'M LIMITED EDITION guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - It's A Beautiful Day To Leave Me Alone

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay If You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME. NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take ORDERS I Barely Take Suggestions

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES I UGLINESS CAN BE FIXED. STUPIDITY IS FOREVER. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Be A Stiletto In A Room Of Flats

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II BE A STILETTO IN A ROOM OF FLATS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Come To The Dark Side We Have Cookies

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE COOKIES guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just A Person Standing In Front Of A Salad Asking It To Be A Donut

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

SASSY THREADS SERIES II ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

This adorable piece from Mary Engelbreit features a couple of fun opossums and "Don't Die Before You're Dead". Sarcasm anyone?! Mary's...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 121

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

This adorable piece from Mary Engelbreit features a business savvy raccoon and bunny with the line "And Please Hesitate to Call...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:121w x 104

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Coffee Makes Me Human

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

Features a pretty vintage style coffee pot, yellow flowers, two little red birds and the humorous statement "Coffee Makes Me...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream

Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

Reminiscent of an old sampler, this cross stitch pattern features the humorous quote, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane. A pretty floral border...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Finally a Farmgirl Designs

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 138

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

Multiple styles available

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose

A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 80

Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated

Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sampler Sensibility

"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself " -from a letter to Elizabeth Holland from Emily Dickinson, 1856 Relatable quote to all on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:118w x 36

Fabric:28ct. Linen Antique White

Floss:Gentle Art, DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs

Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:141w x 47

Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha

Floss:Weeks Dye Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs

Cross stitch pattern from Rebel Stitcher featuring a frog in underpants with an umbrella and the phrase "Stay weird and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:129w x 145

Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon

Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works

Released: 4/17/2026

$15.00

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All You Need is Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks

All you need is ... coffee aroma, coffee scent, coffee taste, coffee strength ... Coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 127...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:127w x 132

Fabric:18ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio

Flamingos prance on the beach in the 6th of the WordyBirds series! Perfectly beachy and fun for the month of June. Pattern is stitched...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:119w x 71

Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Stormy Clouds

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Barefoot Needleart

Cross stitch pattern from Barefoot Needleart featuring a wine bottle and the phrase, 'All my friends are wine-y Stitchers". Pattern is...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:143w x 104

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Whisper

Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works, Weeks Dye Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler

Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 89

Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White

Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley

No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:150w x 151

Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks

AAN Privee Collection - Shake your bunny tail. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 122 x 123. Model stitched on White fabric using...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:122w x 123

Fabric:18ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff

Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all." Stitched on 36 count...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:61w x 37

Fabric:36ct. Linen Antique White

Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:39w x 55

Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting “send.” With...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:81w x 136

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

Multiple styles available

Released: 1/22/2026

$9.00

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Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees, and colorful summer details. Beach Please is a playful stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:70w x 70

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

A sweet (and slightly unhinged) reminder that cake is best enjoyed immediately. This playful cross-stitch pattern features a happy baker,...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:95w x 146

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

Multiple styles available

Released: 12/22/2025

$9.00

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Home Is Where The Cat Is

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

A gentle and heartwarming design celebrating the quiet magic of home. Featuring a sweet cat’s face framed by soft florals and the...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:157w x 110

Fabric:28ct. Lugana White

Happiness on the Couch

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations

A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:110w x 50

Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:110w x 130

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:3 DMC colors

Multiple styles available

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs

Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:191w x 91

Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White

Floss:Cottage Garden Threads

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers

A humorous, vintage-inspired sampler that turns everyday chores into something worth smiling about. Featuring playful typography and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:49w x 98

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley

A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:65w x 49

Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool

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