Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shoelaces by Iris Originals
Shoelaces
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Side Effects by Iris Originals
Side Effects
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you know it - the older I get (and yes, I am old) the more I know I'm old from the way I'm feeling. Everyone knows that all meds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Silence you Peasant by Iris Originals
Silence you Peasant
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever just wanted to tell someone "shut up" - try it this way :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 count
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Singing Like Nobody's Listening by Kooler Design Studio
Singing Like Nobody's Listening
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kooler Design Studio
Our red hat lady sings as if nobody's listening! This whimsical design is sure to brighten up your day. Lovely for any counted cross-stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
Multiple styles available
$12.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny by White Willow Stitching
Skinny
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 137
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC floss required.
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny 2 by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 103
Fabric:0
Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smell the Pages by Rogue Stitchery
Smell the Pages
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
A gentle reminder to slow down and savor the moment. This lovely design features an open book framed by blooming roses and the phrase...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smile S'more by Cross Stitch Wonders
Smile S'more
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great S'MORE / CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
Fabric:0
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Far So Good by Imaginating
So Far So Good
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Take your R&R to a whole new level with this adorable and colorful design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 130 x 152. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 152
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:28 DMC colors
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much Nope by Peacock & Fig
So Much Nope
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This elegant vintage cross stitch pattern is inspired by antique French illustrations, but there’s nothing antique about the quote!
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much to Do by Iris Originals
So Much to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pretty much says it all -
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sometimes by Iris Originals
Sometimes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I suppose that's really the only time I don't at least think about drinking coffee. As a matter of fact, I think I need a cup as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 135
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sparkly Stuff by Iris Originals
Sparkly Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly" I love sparkly stuff, so this was a no brainer for me. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Opalescent on White
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor and one color Nordic Gold
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh don't you just hate it. I find it's so much easier to spill as I get older. Sure don't want to waste me precious coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida WHITE
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You know how a little kid is if their balloon gets away - well, that about says it all. Be careful - don't spill the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spite & Caffeine by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Spite & Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:191w x 91
Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:Cottage Garden Threads
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stabby by The Stitcherhood
Stabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Starve by White Willow Stitching
Starve
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A little subversive humor most mothers feel. Well now you can cross stitch it and hang it in your kitchen! Starve is designed using only...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:20 skeins DMC #310
Designer:Jamie Larson
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitch & Drink Wine by Peacock & Fig
Stitch & Drink Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Stitch, drink wine, and be happy are inscribed in this inspirational cross stitch pattern — focus on the important things in life.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitcher's Mess by Iris Originals
Stitcher's Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stolen Mind by Pine Glen Designs
Stolen Mind
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler is for all the times that children have sent their mothers mumbling from the room. The next time someone asks if you have...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 81
Fabric:0
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Strong Women by Sue Hillis Designs
Strong Women
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Women are like Teabags - We never know how strong we are until we are in hot water. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stubborn by Lucy Beam
Stubborn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 78
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid by White Willow Stitching
Stupid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Stupid is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches as well as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:52w x 70
Fabric:0
Floss:7 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid Things by Iris Originals
Stupid Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another 'old people' chart - and I'm entitled to offer this.... since I'm old. Hopefully I'm not doing quite as many stupid things,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Successful Woman by Iris Originals
Successful Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, the chart pretty much says it all! Yes, I'm a huge dog lover AND a pretty big coffee drinker. Cute chart for yourself or a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or D
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine by White Willow Stitching
Sunshine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A great cross stitch chart for those with a twisted sense of humor. The StitchBitch line of charts are not for those faint of heart and...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine & Roses by Iris Originals
Sunshine & Roses
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Do you ever have days like that? I do and I suspect most of use do. Sunshine & Roses vs Rain Clouds, Donkey butts and Poison Ivy. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Super Mom by Iris Originals
Super Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Moms are truly super - great chart to finish for "your" Mom - or for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 DMC or Anchor
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack by Pickle Barrel Designs
Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring...Pickles!! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 211
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Swift as a Gazelle by Iris Originals
Swift as a Gazelle
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Stitch & a Hoop Pattern: Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern Design Source: Pinoy Stitch DMC Floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 74
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 15
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk To Me Goose by Silver Creek Samplers
Talk To Me Goose
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
This fun and quirky design features a bold, expressive goose paired with playful lettering for a touch of humor and farmhouse flair. With...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 38
Fabric:18ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk to Myself by Iris Originals
Talk to Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - frequently need expert advice - and where better to get it from than - ME.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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