Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I I'M NOT WEIRD I'M LIMITED EDITION guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME. NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I UGLINESS CAN BE FIXED. STUPIDITY IS FOREVER. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Part of the Sassy Threads Series II. You can stitch the entire design including the notepad or stitch just the saying. Original artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE COOKIES guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I EAT CAKE BECAUSE IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY SOMEWHERE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I'M JUST A PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF A SALAD ASKING IT TO BE A DONUT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II KISS MY SASS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II SARCASM LEVEL EXPERT guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II ZERO MEOWS GIVEN guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Goodbye Lesson Plan Hello Sun Tan by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Goodbye Lesson Plan Hello Sun Tan
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - The End Is Near #hellosummer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - The End Is Near #hellosummer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 96 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$8.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, See Ya Later Educator by Cross Stitch Wonders
See Ya Later Educator
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A School's Out design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 100 x 89. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Chart is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seize the Day by Iris Originals
Seize the Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This would definitely be me - "I'm gonna need more coffee before I seize anything". Cute coffee saying for your kitchen or as a gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seriously by Iris Originals
Seriously
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Have you ever just looked at someone and said...seriously?? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sewing Room by Iris Originals
Sewing Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This actually applies to my sewing room, craft area, office - wherever - and let's don't forget the room where our cross stitch stash is!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 158
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sexy Chick by Peacock & Fig
Sexy Chick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Inspired by a vintage illustration, this sweet little retro cross stitch pattern is perfect for any home decor or office.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shake Your Tail by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
Shake Your Tail
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks
AAN Privee Collection - Shake your bunny tail. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 122 x 123. Model stitched on White fabric using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 123
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, She Betta Don't by Peacock & Fig
She Betta Don't
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’ve ever caught yourself slaving away on some completely inane task like sweeping up after the kids for what feels like the fifteenth...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, She Who MUST Be Obeyed by Artecy Cross Stitch
She Who MUST Be Obeyed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches are used in this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:38 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shit Happens by White Willow Stitching
Shit Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 84 x 46. Model stitched on 14ct Lambswool Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:4 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shiver Me Timbers by Sue Hillis Designs
Shiver Me Timbers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Arrrrhh - Shiver me timbers! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99w x 125h. Model was stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida Pewter
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shoelaces by Iris Originals
Shoelaces
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Side Effects by Iris Originals
Side Effects
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you know it - the older I get (and yes, I am old) the more I know I'm old from the way I'm feeling. Everyone knows that all meds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Silence you Peasant by Iris Originals
Silence you Peasant
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever just wanted to tell someone "shut up" - try it this way :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 count
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Singing Like Nobody's Listening by Kooler Design Studio
Singing Like Nobody's Listening
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kooler Design Studio
Our red hat lady sings as if nobody's listening! This whimsical design is sure to brighten up your day. Lovely for any counted cross-stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$10.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny by White Willow Stitching
Skinny
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 137
Floss:DMC floss required.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny 2 by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 103
Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skip the Fries by Stitchnmomma
Skip the Fries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Never skip the fries, sometimes they are the best part. *NOTES ABOUT THE STITCHED MODEL* I stitched the model on a cotton french fry...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 85
Fabric:Aida Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$7.20
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smell the Pages by Rogue Stitchery
Smell the Pages
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
A gentle reminder to slow down and savor the moment. This lovely design features an open book framed by blooming roses and the phrase...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smile S'more by Cross Stitch Wonders
Smile S'more
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great S'MORE / CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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