Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
Released:  8/7/2017
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Maybe Wine will Help by Peacock & Fig
Maybe Wine will Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re drowning in a sea of stress and the daily grind is getting to you, the Maybe Wine Will Help fun cross stitch pattern will pick...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sexy Chick by Peacock & Fig
Sexy Chick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Inspired by a vintage illustration, this sweet little retro cross stitch pattern is perfect for any home decor or office.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  8/6/2017
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm: the perfect answer to every stupid question. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 168 x 151. Model stitched on 14ct fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:168w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:13 DMC colors
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitch & Drink Wine by Peacock & Fig
Stitch & Drink Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Stitch, drink wine, and be happy are inscribed in this inspirational cross stitch pattern — focus on the important things in life.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much Nope by Peacock & Fig
So Much Nope
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This elegant vintage cross stitch pattern is inspired by antique French illustrations, but there’s nothing antique about the quote!
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  8/6/2017
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "I'm Dead without My Coffee!" by StitchyFish Designs
"I'm Dead without My Coffee!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
"Dead without Coffee" pretty much speaks for itself....or for me, in the morning. If you are not able to function before your caffiene...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 80
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:DMC
Released:  7/24/2017
On Sale:$3.39
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Singing Like Nobody's Listening by Kooler Design Studio
Singing Like Nobody's Listening
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kooler Design Studio
Our red hat lady sings as if nobody's listening! This whimsical design is sure to brighten up your day. Lovely for any counted cross-stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
Multiple styles available
Released:  6/6/2017
On Sale:$10.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is 88...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/4/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Super Mom by Iris Originals
Super Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Moms are truly super - great chart to finish for "your" Mom - or for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 DMC or Anchor
Released:  5/22/2017
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/18/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 150
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/18/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Exercise ... Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
I'd Exercise ... Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great EXERCISE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/13/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Campers Have S'more Fun by Cross Stitch Wonders
Campers Have S'more Fun
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPER Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:124w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/13/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Carpe Vino Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/11/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Give A Sip by Cross Stitch Wonders
Don't Give A Sip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/11/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life ... Coffee N' Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life ... Coffee N' Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/8/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD ... Camping by Cross Stitch Wonders
OCD ... Camping
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Released:  5/8/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitch by White Willow Stitching
Bitch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bitch is a subversive and sassy saying cross stitch chart designed by my dear friend StitchBitch. This line of charts requires a twisted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:45w x 51
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
Released:  5/6/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Measure of a Man by White Willow Stitching
Measure of a Man
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Ready to giggle? Between fish stories and other man stories many of us know this one in our sleep and now StitchBitch has brought it to us...
Pattern Details:
Floss:3 DMC Floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
Released:  5/6/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Fun Mom - Mama Needs A Beer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Fun Mom - Mama Needs A Beer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Sassy Fun Mom Words Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this Sassy Fun Mom cross stitch design from artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  4/27/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Fun Mom - May Your Coffee ... by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Fun Mom - May Your Coffee ...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Sassy Fun Mom Words Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this Sassy Fun Mom cross stitch design from artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  4/27/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Fun Mom - Messy Bun .... by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Fun Mom - Messy Bun ....
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Sassy Fun Mom Words Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this Sassy Fun Mom cross stitch design from artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  4/27/2017
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Starve by White Willow Stitching
Starve
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A little subversive humor most mothers feel. Well now you can cross stitch it and hang it in your kitchen! Starve is designed using only...
Pattern Details:
Floss:20 skeins DMC #310
Designer:Jamie Larson
Released:  4/20/2017
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY by Iris Originals
My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So you have a cat who wakes you --- or you have a friend that does. This is a compliment chart to my "My Dog". So now both are available...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
Released:  3/13/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What purpose does your coffee serve? Needless to say, I'm a coffeeholic. I love coffee and I love stitching about coffee. This will make...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
Released:  2/21/2017
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Decisive by Iris Originals
Be Decisive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Be decisive. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
Released:  2/19/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Reason I Wake up Early by Iris Originals
The Reason I Wake up Early
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
MY DOG - is the reason I wake up in the morning.... cute cross stitch for the dog lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  2/13/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Monkeys by Imaginating
Not My Monkeys
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
These cute monkeys take you under the Big Top to say this funny and familiar phrase!Not My Monkeys is designed to be stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 176
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC floss colors
Released:  2/10/2017
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, New Day by White Willow Stitching
New Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
Released:  2/10/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine by White Willow Stitching
Sunshine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A great design for those with a twisted sense of humor. The "censored" section showed on the image of the design is not an actual part of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 71
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  2/10/2017
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shit Happens by White Willow Stitching
Shit Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 84 x 46. Model stitched on 14ct Lambswool Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:4 DMC colors
Released:  2/10/2017
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Sorry by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry, I ran out of Coffee, so today is cancelled. Easy chart - great for that coffee drinker.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  2/6/2017
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Everything by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Everything
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 99
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 2
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
Released:  1/22/2017
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Life by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Life
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
A quotables word art pattern with little or no backstitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 107. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
Released:  1/22/2017
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee All You Need by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee All You Need
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 103
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 3
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
Released:  1/22/2017
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Coffee Less is More by PinoyStitch
Quotables Coffee Less is More
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 99
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 2
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
Released:  1/22/2017
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Who Needs Luck St. Patrick Cross Stitch by PinoyStitch
Quotables Who Needs Luck St. Patrick Cross Stitch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Bring in some luck with this easy cross stitch project. All full cross stitches, no back stitches and can fit into a hoop for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 59
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 9
Designer:Sanqunetti
Multiple styles available
Released:  1/1/2017
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
Released:  12/27/2016
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Wild Thing by PinoyStitch
Quotables Wild Thing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 48
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 6
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
Released:  12/3/2016
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Pizza Sleep & Wifi by PinoyStitch
Quotables Pizza Sleep & Wifi
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 46
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 10
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
Released:  11/21/2016
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 2 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work, was created from Artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
Released:  11/20/2016
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 3 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, There's always time for one more cast, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
Released:  11/20/2016
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 1 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, Good things come to those who Bait was created from Artwork by Gomolach.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
Released:  11/20/2016
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 4 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, I'd rather be fishing, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only full cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
Released:  11/20/2016
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  11/19/2016
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Instant Human by Iris Originals
Instant Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Instant Human - just add Coffee" Cute little chart for the coffee lover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
Released:  11/1/2016
$6.30
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