Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Far So Good by Imaginating
So Far So Good
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Take your R&R to a whole new level with this adorable and colorful design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 130 x 152. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 152
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:28 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much Nope by Peacock & Fig
So Much Nope
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This elegant vintage cross stitch pattern is inspired by antique French illustrations, but there’s nothing antique about the quote!
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much to Do by Iris Originals
So Much to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ah...so much to do - so little desire to do it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 94. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sometimes by Iris Originals
Sometimes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee - it's called sleeping. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 135. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 135
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sparkly Stuff by Iris Originals
Sparkly Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 77 x 97. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC & Rainbow Gallery
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 113 x 115. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You know how a little kid is if their balloon gets away - well, that about says it all. Be careful - don't spill the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spite & Caffeine by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Spite & Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:191w x 91
Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:Cottage Garden Threads
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stabby by The Stitcherhood
Stabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stab fabric not people. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 110. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Starve by White Willow Stitching
Starve
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A little subversive humor most mothers feel. Well now you can cross stitch it and hang it in your kitchen! Starve is designed using only...
Pattern Details:
Floss:20 skeins DMC #310
Designer:Jamie Larson
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitch & Drink Wine by Peacock & Fig
Stitch & Drink Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Stitch, drink wine, and be happy are inscribed in this inspirational cross stitch pattern — focus on the important things in life.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitcher's Mess by Iris Originals
Stitcher's Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stolen Mind by Pine Glen Designs
Stolen Mind
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler is for all the times that children have sent their mothers mumbling from the room. The next time someone asks if you have...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 81
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Strong Women by Sue Hillis Designs
Strong Women
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Women are like Teabags - We never know how strong we are until we are in hot water. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stubborn by Lucy Beam
Stubborn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm stubborn"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 78
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid by White Willow Stitching
Stupid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Stupid is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches as well as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:52w x 70
Floss:7 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid Things by Iris Originals
Stupid Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another 'old people' chart - and I'm entitled to offer this.... since I'm old. Hopefully I'm not doing quite as many stupid things,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Successful Woman by Iris Originals
Successful Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, the chart pretty much says it all! Yes, I'm a huge dog lover AND a pretty big coffee drinker. Cute chart for yourself or a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or D
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine by White Willow Stitching
Sunshine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A great design for those with a twisted sense of humor. The "censored" section showed on the image of the design is not an actual part of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 71
Fabric:28ct. Linen
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine & Roses by Iris Originals
Sunshine & Roses
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Do you ever have days like that? I do and I suspect most of use do. Sunshine & Roses vs Rain Clouds, Donkey butts and Poison Ivy. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Super Mom by Iris Originals
Super Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Moms are truly super - great chart to finish for "your" Mom - or for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 DMC or Anchor
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack by Pickle Barrel Designs
Sweet Mixed Pickles 3-Pack
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Pickle Barrel Designs featuring...Pickles!! Pattern is stitched on 14 ct White Aida using DMC floss. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 211
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Swift as a Gazelle by Iris Originals
Swift as a Gazelle
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Stitch & a Hoop Pattern: Tacos & More Mini Cross Stitch Pattern Design Source: Pinoy Stitch DMC Floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 74
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 15
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk To Me Goose by Silver Creek Samplers
Talk To Me Goose
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
This fun and quirky design features a bold, expressive goose paired with playful lettering for a touch of humor and farmhouse flair. With...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 38
Fabric:18ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk to Myself by Iris Originals
Talk to Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I talk to myself when I stitch - Sometimes I need expert advice! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 101 x 105. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teacher Off Duty by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teacher Off Duty
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great School's Out design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 68. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Chart...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 68
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Elderly by Iris Originals
The Elderly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Moon was Full by The Stitcherhood
The Moon was Full
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
In my defense, the moon was full and I was unsupervised. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Older I Get by Iris Originals
The Older I Get
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, unfortunately that sign says it all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Queen by Imaginating
The Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 105. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Reason I Wake up Early by Iris Originals
The Reason I Wake up Early
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
MY DOG - is the reason I wake up in the morning.... cute cross stitch for the dog lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Witch is In by Artists Alley
The Witch is In
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thin Patience by Peacock & Fig
Thin Patience
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you sick of people-ing and your patience is wearing oh-so-thin? Help yourself cope with the daily grind with the demotivational Thin...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things I Like by The Stitcherhood
Things I Like
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things in Life by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life is a fun and sassy cross stitch Backstitching is required but no fractional stitches makes it perfect for any fabric count....
Pattern Details:
Floss:16 DMC floss colors
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, This Age by Iris Originals
This Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thrills & Spills by Peacock & Fig
Thrills & Spills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Nothing says “retro cross stitch” like a little blast from Scandinavian design past… Remember in the 70’s when printed paper towels were...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 161
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Time and Friends by Iris Originals
Time and Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is true for sure!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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