Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bad Boy by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Badass Granddaughter by Iris Originals
Badass Granddaughter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is dedicated to my two wonderful granddaughters. Not little girls anymore but always wonderful girls. If you have a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:177w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bail Money by Iris Originals
Bail Money
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bakers Pro Tip by Imaginating
Bakers Pro Tip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A sweet (and slightly unhinged) reminder that cake is best enjoyed immediately. This playful cross-stitch pattern features a happy baker,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Barefoot by Rosewood Manor
Barefoot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "If you are not barefoot, then you are overdressed"! Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be A Unicorn by Iris Originals
Be A Unicorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Whimsical thought, maybe you'd rather be a unicorn. Cute unicorn to stitch for child's room.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 colors ANC or DMC
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Decisive by Iris Originals
Be Decisive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Be decisive. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Mine by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Be Mine is designed by StitchBitch and exclusive to White Willow Stitching. This design does include both full stitches and backstitching....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:50w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Productive by Iris Originals
Be Productive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I wake up with good intentions (and that's probably most of us) - but it goes downhill a bit once I'm up and about. Coffee IS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees, and colorful summer details. Beach Please is a playful stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Repeat by The Stitcherhood
Beach Repeat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Beach, repeat... a fun, whimsical nautical cross stitch pattern for any beach bum like me... or for lovely beach house decor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beige
Floss:DMC 931 or 840
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bears will Kill You by Iris Originals
Bears will Kill You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've heard many times, "that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger"...but I sure don't want to meet a bear - don't think I could...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Become a Senior by Iris Originals
Become a Senior
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So sad (not really).... but it's not quite a exciting as it was in high school
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Fishing Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Fishing Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/FISHING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Design is 100 stitches wide by 110 stitches high. Included is a large/easy to...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer... by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer - helping men to dance since 1862. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Before My Morning Coffee by Artecy Cross Stitch
Before My Morning Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:58 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Believe by Sue Hillis Designs
Believe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
What Santa brings if you don't Believe. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bench Press a Buick by Iris Originals
Bench Press a Buick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've felt that way sometimes. Great chart to remind yourself how strong you really are - or a great gift for that super friend. Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best FRiend by Iris Originals
Best FRiend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute saying about your best friend - does she know too much - probably :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best Friends & Coffee by Iris Originals
Best Friends & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Best Friends don't care if your house is clean, they care if you have coffee. Great chart for coffee lovers.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beware the Cat by Artists Alley
Beware the Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Never mind the witch—beware of the cat! This whimsical cross-stitch by Artists Alley features a sleek black kitty riding high on a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida Icelandic Gray
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Big Books by Rogue Stitchery
Big Books
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 32. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC colors
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitch by White Willow Stitching
Bitch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bitch is a subversive and sassy saying cross stitch chart designed by my dear friend StitchBitch. This line of charts requires a twisted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:45w x 51
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bitter by Lucy Beam
Bitter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm bitter"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 96
Fabric:36ct. Linen Smoke Blue
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Black Hat Society by Sue Hillis Designs
Black Hat Society
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Proud member of the Black Hat Society. Candy corn button included.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:69w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lilac
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bless your Little Heart by Iris Originals
Bless your Little Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another cute coffee saying, and yes, I am a coffee addict!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:15 colors Anchor or DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bloody Mary Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bloody Mary Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 117
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bookstore by Rogue Stitchery
Bookstore
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bow Before Me by Peacock & Fig
Bow Before Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
You'll never have to wonder what to give for a gift ever again with this elegantly sassy birthday cross stitch pattern. Not only does Bow...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bras & Panties by Lizzie Kate
Bras & Panties
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lizzie Kate
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$12.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, British Accent by Kiokiz
British Accent
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 80
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Broom Parking by The Stitcherhood
Broom Parking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Stitch a sign for your house to remind everyone not to park in your spot. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 94 x 79. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, But First, Coffee by Iris Originals
But First, Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
No explanation necessary - BUT FIRST, COFFEE! :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 45
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Butter Believe It by Silver Creek Samplers
Butter Believe It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"I have a lot to say, maybe you should get popcorn" Model stitched on 18 Ct. Fog Aida by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 100
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cabin Rules by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cabin Rules
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 86w x 116h. A cute saying for a cozy cabin that says: Cabin Rules: Match a sunrise, Go...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC Floss and Weeks Dye Works
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Campers Have S'more Fun by Cross Stitch Wonders
Campers Have S'more Fun
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPER Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:124w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods by Cross Stitch Wonders
Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Camping/Wine saying designed by Marcia Manning. Original artwork by Tara Reed Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Carpe Vino Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Is Proof by Stitchnmomma
Chocolate Is Proof
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A quirky, easy-to-stitch piece for any chocolate lover. Or why not make it as a gift for the chocolate lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Size:5.71" x 5.43"
Fabric:0
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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