Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Do Not Disturb by Iris Originals
Do Not Disturb
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, proceed with caution - especially on some days. This makes a great gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your heart—and hoop—speak for itself with I Wanna Be a Stay at Home Dog Mom! This adorable design features a sweet dog silhouette...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog in Charge by Imaginating
Dog in Charge
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I used to be the Energizer Bunny, but since I've gotten older I'm learning to "do nothing"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Call Me Cute by Peacock & Fig
Don't Call Me Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 98
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
This adorable piece from Mary Engelbreit features a couple of fun opossums and "Don't Die Before You're Dead". Sarcasm anyone?! Mary's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Eat The Seeds by Homespun Elegance Ltd
Don't Eat The Seeds
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Homespun Elegance Ltd
-Stitched on 30ct Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works -Stitch count 88w x 58h (5.87" x 3.87") We do not carry the 30ct Parchment Linen...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:30ct. Linen Lambswool
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Give A Sip by Cross Stitch Wonders
Don't Give A Sip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Interrupt by Imaginating
Don't Interrupt
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 140
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Panic by The Stitcherhood
Don't Panic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Don't panic. Organize! A design for anti-bullying, pro community or individual empowerment.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dorothy's Discovery by Silver Creek Samplers
Dorothy's Discovery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen
Floss:DMC, WDW & GA
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Drink Coffee by Iris Originals
Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - depends on how much you drink.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dust Bunnies by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
Dust Bunnies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
Family and friends aren't the only ones to gather at our homes! Just when we're not looking, a few little "critters" slip in to join the...
Pattern Details:
Floss:Gentle Arts 0350, 1050, 7041, 7060 and Rainbow Gallery Whisper W60 with DMC substitutions listed.
Designer:Linda Jeanne Jenkins
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional by Sue Hillis Designs
DysFUNctional
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Our Family puts the Fun in Dysfunctional. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional Me by Imaginating
DysFUNctional Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a little sass to your stitching with this stylishly snarky pattern! Featuring a sophisticated lady in a sharp suit, chic hat, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 114
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:23 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eat Cake by Sue Hillis Designs
Eat Cake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 62 x 91. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:62w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Envious by Lucy Beam
Envious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
Cross Stitch pattern from Lucy Beam Love in Stitches featuring the phrase "Pray for me. I'm envious"! The model was stitched on 36ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 92
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ew. People. by The Stitcherhood
Ew. People.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 58
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse Me by Iris Originals
Excuse Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have squirrels - do you have squirrels? They are adorably annoying little creatures and love bird seed. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse the Mess by Shannon Christine Designs
Excuse the Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 113. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:17 DMC colors
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Exercise Plan by Artecy Cross Stitch
Exercise Plan
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:212w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:50 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ex-People Person by Imaginating
Ex-People Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This cheeky pattern features the phrase “I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me”, with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eyeroll by Imaginating
Eyeroll
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fa La La Wine by Peacock & Fig
Fa La La Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Open up that box of wine and let’s make Christmas Carols fun again. “Tis the season to be boozy…” “Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 55
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fab Frog by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Fab Frog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Rebel Stitcher featuring a frog in underpants with an umbrella and the phrase "Stay weird and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 145
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$15.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Face That Cares by Peacock & Fig
Face That Cares
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Face That Cares cross stitch pattern is set in a lovely orchard featuring pretty shades of peach and pink, juxtaposed with the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 125
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Don't Kale My Vibe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - It Takes Two To Mango by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - It Takes Two To Mango
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - Practice What You Peach by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - Practice What You Peach
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 78 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - You've Guac To Be Kidding Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Feral by Stitchnmomma
Feral
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Is it meno-rage? Is it acute sleep deprivation? Is it the current state of our country? I don’t know, but I know it has been my current...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 28
Fabric:28ct. Linen Opalescent Teal
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Finally Got it Together by Iris Originals
Finally Got it Together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute, fun chart - "Finally got it altogether, but I forgot where I put it."
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Find Me Under The Palms by Romy's Creations
Find Me Under The Palms
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 1 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, Good things come to those who Bait was created from Artwork by Gomolach.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 2 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work, was created from Artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 3 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, There's always time for one more cast, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 4 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, I'd rather be fishing, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only full cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Foul Language by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Foul Language
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
This witty chicken design adds a fun dose of humor to farmhouse stitching. With playful wording and a charming little hen, it’s a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 75
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fresh Out of Fuchsias by Peacock & Fig
Fresh Out of Fuchsias
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who likes to push boundaries just a little, seeing what you can get away with? If so, the Fresh Out of Fuchsias...
Pattern Details:
Size:5" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Freshly Brewed Coffee by Iris Originals
Freshly Brewed Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee - or maybe you're not a coffeeholic like me. Anyway, this makes a great little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Friendly Advice by Imaginating
Friendly Advice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Witty, relatable, and just a little too real, this clever design perfectly captures the inner panic we all feel before hitting “send.” With...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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