Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
Show More
Please Wait ...
×
Home
Themes
Product Type
Filters:
Cross Stitch Patterns, Full Time Job by Imaginating
Full Time Job
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 69
Floss:DMC
Designer:Diane Arthurs
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Dana Batho
$10.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up from the Sofa by Iris Originals
Get Up from the Sofa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And sometimes three - but life is good. Glad to be alive!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Old Ain't for Sissies by Iris Originals
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 143 x 133....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 133
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC & Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Older by Iris Originals
Getting Older
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Glitter Over Gloom by Stitchnmomma
Glitter Over Gloom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Never let the hard times dim your sparkle. Piece was stitched on 32 ct. Crystal Pickle by Picture This Plus. Feel free to use any floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 72
Fabric:Aida
Floss:1 Kreinik Color
$8.40
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Goblins by Shakespeare's Peddler
Goblins
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler
Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 89
Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$10.19
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Going to be Sensible by Iris Originals
Going to be Sensible
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, at least I'm going to try
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Grief by Iris Originals
Good Grief
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well this describes me perfectly. It can almost be looking at me and I still can't find it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Intentions by Kathy Barrick
Good Intentions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kathy Barrick
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 110
$10.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Morning by Amy Bruecken Designs
Good Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
Cross stitch pattern from Amy Bruecken Designs featuring the phrase "Here we go again. I mean...Good Morning"! Model stitched on Picture...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:191w x 80
Fabric:28ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$14.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Witch by Bobbie G Designs
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
On Sale:$5.60
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Old Lady by Iris Originals
Grumpy Old Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, sometimes I'm a grumpy old lady, but hey - I'm still above the grass, so I'm blessed.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sleep by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 149
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Had Coffee by Iris Originals
Had Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I woke up got out of bed and had coffee. That's probably enough activity for one day. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 97 x 96....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hap-pea by Kiokiz
Hap-pea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 38 stitches
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness is Pizza by Romy's Creations
Happiness is Pizza
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
$12.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness on the Couch by Romy's Creations
Happiness on the Couch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy Face by Artecy Cross Stitch
Happy Face
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches are used in this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 197
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:40 DMC colors
$15.95
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy New Year! by The Stitcherhood
Happy New Year!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Here is a funny design. Happy New Year! Let’s try this again. Fortunately, we get to do that each year, and hopefully make it better each...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #310 (black). Also pictured in red (#321) and blue (#517)
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty (in soft mocha tones) positioned atop the bold phrase—making it both a laugh-out-loud...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Her Ladyship by Peacock & Fig
Her Ladyship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Celebrate the joy of a beautiful newborn with this exquisite baby girl cross stitch pattern! Her Ladyship includes an alphabet chart and...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go by Cross Stitch Wonders
Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 79...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 76
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$4.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, His Lordship by Peacock & Fig
His Lordship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Commemorate the arrival of the handsome newborn with this regal baby boy cross stitch pattern! His Lordship comes with an alphabet and full...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Home Is Where The Cat Is by Kitty & Me Designs
Home Is Where The Cat Is
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
A gentle and heartwarming design celebrating the quiet magic of home. Featuring a sweet cat’s face framed by soft florals and the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:157w x 110
Fabric:28ct. Lugana White
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.80
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hooties Well-Behaved by PinoyStitch
Hooties Well-Behaved
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Let this little devilish Hootie remind you that being a rebel once in awhile may lead to great things! Using 14 count Aida, it...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 9
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$6.79
View Pattern
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do I? by White Willow Stitching
How Do I?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do You Like Me Now by Rogue Stitchery
How Do You Like Me Now
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern features colorful block letters and a smiley face with a mischievous grin. It can be either stitched for framing or...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
$3.38
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, Hump Day by Iris Originals
Hump Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, if you know me - or have checked out my charts, you might know I'm a coffee addict. I know I'm not the only one - so this is great...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Believe I Can Fly by Peacock & Fig
I Believe I Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe you can fly? This funny motivational quote uses a vintage illustration as inspiration for this tongue-in-cheek cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Don't Exercise by Iris Originals
I Don't Exercise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, you know with me, coffee comes first. It's tricky to do anything with coffee in my cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I have it all together by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together - I just forgot where I put it. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 260 x 199. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:260w x 199
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$12.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 900
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful saying for any CROSS STITCH enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Coffee (or Beer, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) CROSS STITCH and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GARDENING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GARDEN and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Please Wait ...