Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Witch by Bobbie G Designs
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Old Lady by Iris Originals
Grumpy Old Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, sometimes I'm a grumpy old lady, but hey - I'm still above the grass, so I'm blessed.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sleep by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 149
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had Coffee by Iris Originals
Had Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's about it for today.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hap-pea by Kiokiz
Hap-pea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 38 stitches
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness is Pizza by Romy's Creations
Happiness is Pizza
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness on the Couch by Romy's Creations
Happiness on the Couch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy Face by Artecy Cross Stitch
Happy Face
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches are used in this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 197
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:40 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy New Year! by The Stitcherhood
Happy New Year!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Here is a funny design. Happy New Year! Let’s try this again. Fortunately, we get to do that each year, and hopefully make it better each...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC #310 (black). Also pictured in red (#321) and blue (#517)
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty (in soft mocha tones) positioned atop the bold phrase—making it both a laugh-out-loud...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Her Ladyship by Peacock & Fig
Her Ladyship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Celebrate the joy of a beautiful newborn with this exquisite baby girl cross stitch pattern! Her Ladyship includes an alphabet chart and...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go by Cross Stitch Wonders
Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 79...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 76
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, His Lordship by Peacock & Fig
His Lordship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Commemorate the arrival of the handsome newborn with this regal baby boy cross stitch pattern! His Lordship comes with an alphabet and full...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Home Is Where The Cat Is by Kitty & Me Designs
Home Is Where The Cat Is
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
A gentle and heartwarming design celebrating the quiet magic of home. Featuring a sweet cat’s face framed by soft florals and the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:157w x 110
Fabric:28ct. Lugana White
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hooties Well-Behaved by PinoyStitch
Hooties Well-Behaved
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Let this little devilish Hootie remind you that being a rebel once in awhile may lead to great things! Using 14 count Aida, it...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 9
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do I? by White Willow Stitching
How Do I?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do You Like Me Now by Rogue Stitchery
How Do You Like Me Now
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern features colorful block letters and a smiley face with a mischievous grin. It can be either stitched for framing or...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
$3.38
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hump Day by Iris Originals
Hump Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, if you know me - or have checked out my charts, you might know I'm a coffee addict. I know I'm not the only one - so this is great...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Believe I Can Fly by Peacock & Fig
I Believe I Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe you can fly? This funny motivational quote uses a vintage illustration as inspiration for this tongue-in-cheek cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Don't Exercise by Iris Originals
I Don't Exercise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, you know with me, coffee comes first. It's tricky to do anything with coffee in my cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - actually I've tried it several times - it ALWAYS comes back. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90w x 86h. Stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I have it all together by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Paine Free Crafts
Paine Free Crafts licences a wide range of art from all around the world. We carefully edit and convert the art using photo editing...
Pattern Details:
Size:17" x 14"(with 3" border) on 25 count fabric
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC (9 colours)
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 900
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful saying for any CROSS STITCH enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Coffee (or Beer, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) CROSS STITCH and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GARDENING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GARDEN and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CAMPING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Tea) GO CAMPING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO FISHING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO FISHING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any FISHING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Beer (or Coffee, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) GO FISHING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any HUNTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... READ BOOKS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any READING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Tea (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Cocktails) READ BOOKS and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any ANIMAL / RESCUE / SHELTER enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Wine (or Coffee, Beer, Tea, Cocktails) SAVE ANIMALS and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Lose Everything But Weight by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Lose Everything But Weight
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WEIGHT saying in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original art by Anastasia Feya. This design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Camping ... Drinking Outside by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Love Camping ... Drinking Outside
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING / DRINKING saying in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original artwork by Tara Reed...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Chocolate by Imaginating
I Love Chocolate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:134w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Pretzel Day by Stitchnmomma
I Love Pretzel Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re as big a fan of The Office as I am, you’ll completely understand this piece! Am I the only one that thinks the character of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 92
Fabric:0
Floss:4 DMC Cotton Colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I May Rise by Artecy Cross Stitch
I May Rise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:184w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:46 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Will Follow You by Iris Originals
I Will Follow You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'D BE CRABBY! by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
I'D BE CRABBY!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
So just hand over the cross stitching and nobody will get pinched! This design is worked with whole stitches and backstitching.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Linda Jeanne Jenkins
$5.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Exercise ... Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
I'd Exercise ... Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great EXERCISE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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