Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns - Page 5

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Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.

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Your Eyesight

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that's pretty much me these days - how about you??

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:88w x 93

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC

Released: 6/7/2022

$6.50

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Adventure for Introverts

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig

Just in case the past few years have been a bit **too** adventurous for your taste, the Adventure for Introverts cross stitch pattern lets...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:94w x 127

Floss:DMC

Designer:Peacock & Fig

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig

If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 98

Floss:DMC

Designer:Peacock & Fig

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig

Nothing says “retro cross stitch” like a little blast from Scandinavian design past… Remember in the 70’s when printed paper towels were...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:117w x 161

Floss:DMC

Designer:Peacock & Fig

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

And sometimes three - but life is good. Glad to be alive!!!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 115

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:99w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:116w x 84

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 123

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:2 DMC floss colors

Released: 4/28/2022

$7.00

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Controlling my Tongue

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, sadly this is true most of the time!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:84w x 85

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, this describes me on most days!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:133w x 100

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Oh yeah - that happens to me ALL THE TIME. I need one space designated as "safe place" and put everything there. :-)

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 93

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:118w x 58

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO I. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

Released: 3/13/2022

$8.00

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Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO II. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

Released: 3/13/2022

$8.00

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Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO III

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO III. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 129

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

Released: 3/12/2022

$6.50

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Pillow Chat - PLANTS TRIO

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Pillow Chat Series - PLANTS TRIO. 3 wonderful Plants themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches. Suggestion is if...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 54

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs

Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design. Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill and clamps, this...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:79w x 72

Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

And, this is SO TRUE of my little dog. He is barking as I type - probably because a cricket jumped outside. But, he's a sweetie, small...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:111w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida Aida

Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yup, that's me - older and meaner all the time. I like the title "Warrior Queen"

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching

Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:137w x 103

Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.

Designer:Jamie Larson

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 62

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice

Released: 2/24/2022

$5.00

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Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

The Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler is perfect for fans of subversive, snarky or humorous cross stitch patterns and designs. - Stitch Count:...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:64w x 85

Fabric:14ct. Aida

Floss:DMC floss: #3799 or any colors of your choice

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:105w x 121

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:130w x 116

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:145w x 115

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:128w x 115

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

I am under no obligation to make sense to you. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 63. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:112w x 63

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Dear Sukie

A Stitcher's Mantra! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 145 x 107. Stitched with DMC floss on 18ct. White Aida. Black and White...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:145w x 107

Fabric:18ct. Aida White

Floss:5 Colours of DMC Thread

a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching

Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 137

Floss:DMC floss required.

Designer:Jamie Larson

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:95w x 118

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:3 DMC colors

Multiple styles available

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yup, proceed with caution - especially on some days. This makes a great gift for a friend.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 148

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Don't let old age get you down - It's too hard to get back up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 152 x 126. Model stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:152w x 126

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:130w x 117

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Getting Old Ain't for Sissies

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 143 x 133....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:143w x 133

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:148w x 117

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, this one sure fits me, and probably a LOT of other stitchers out there. But, that's Okay, it's our mess and we love it.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:89w x 89

Fabric:14ct. Aida

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 84

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:85w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Probably this never happens to you - but it's the same at my house every day. "Who is that person?"

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:87w x 114

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:83w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

This actually applies to my sewing room, craft area, office - wherever - and let's don't forget the room where our cross stitch stash is!!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:105w x 158

Fabric:14ct. Aida

Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC

Released: 10/25/2021

$12.00

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I Just Want To Drink .... CRAFT and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any CRAFTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CRAFT and Take Naps! Included...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 90

Fabric:14ct. aida white

I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 900

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

Released: 10/21/2021

$7.00

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I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any HUNTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps!...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 90

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

Released: 10/21/2021

$8.00

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I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any GARDENING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GARDEN and Take Naps!...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 90

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

Released: 10/21/2021

$7.00

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I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 90

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yeah, you know with me, coffee comes first. It's tricky to do anything with coffee in my cup.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 82

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 114 stitches wide by 120 stitches...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 120

Floss:DMC

Designer:Marcia Manning

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs

This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:110w x 102

Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory

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