Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Farmers Market - It Takes Two To Mango by Cross Stitch Wonders
Farmers Market - It Takes Two To Mango
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Farm Market Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 100 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Cross Stitch Wonders
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Official Cookie Tester by Cross Stitch Wonders
Official Cookie Tester
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great HOLIDAY Phrase/Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bless your Little Heart by Iris Originals
Bless your Little Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another cute coffee saying, and yes, I am a coffee addict!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:15 colors Anchor or DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Movie Quotes by Kiokiz
Movie Quotes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 35
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 2 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work, was created from Artwork by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 154
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Plan Ahead & Follow Through by The Stitcherhood
Plan Ahead & Follow Through
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A wonderfully silly pair of cross stitch designs poking fun at one’s self for not planning ahead or following through to the end of a...
Pattern Details:
Size:see description
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC #3799
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happy Face by Artecy Cross Stitch
Happy Face
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches are used in this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 197
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:40 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate, Ye've plundered me heart. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:47w x 74
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lids on Jars by Iris Originals
Lids on Jars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this seems to be an everyday occasion in my life - anytime I'm faced with a jar, bottle or whatever needs to be opened. Yeah, I know...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... BEER! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... BEER!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... BEER! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Butter Believe It by Silver Creek Samplers
Butter Believe It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"I have a lot to say, maybe you should get popcorn" Model stitched on 18 Ct. Fog Aida by Picture This Plus with Gentle Art Sampler...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 100
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Carpe Vino - Seize The Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Carpe Vino Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Finally Got it Together by Iris Originals
Finally Got it Together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute, fun chart - "Finally got it altogether, but I forgot where I put it."
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What The Elf by Cross Stitch Wonders
What The Elf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Fun Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design! Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 114 stitches wide by 120 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 120
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Men Fish by Sue Hillis Designs
Why Men Fish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Why do men fish? Because they’re utterly enchanted by a particular mermaid’s allure! In this fun-sized design, a flirtatious mermaid holds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Maybe Wine will Help by Peacock & Fig
Maybe Wine will Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re drowning in a sea of stress and the daily grind is getting to you, the Maybe Wine Will Help fun cross stitch pattern will pick...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Love Camping ... Drinking Outside by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Love Camping ... Drinking Outside
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING / DRINKING saying in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Original artwork by Tara Reed...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Priceless by Iris Originals
I'm Priceless
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - priceless
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Yeah - You Wish by Iris Originals
Yeah - You Wish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I wish!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Owner vs Resume by Iris Originals
Owner vs Resume
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have either a cat or dog you'll appreciate this chart. I have both and this fits pretty well.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Campers Have S'more Fun by Cross Stitch Wonders
Campers Have S'more Fun
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPER Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:124w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Rogue Stitchery
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a front-and-back, single-page (double-sided) pattern. The cover page is in full color and contains a photo of the stitched...
Pattern Details:
Size:8-1/8w X 4-1/8h in
Fabric:0
$3.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Magic Beans by Iris Originals
Magic Beans
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee design - Fairy tales and magic beans... turn me into a human.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 66
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Stuff by Iris Originals
Lots of Stuff
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - that's my usual day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 Anchor or DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Weird by Iris Originals
Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it really is! Yes, I'm old - but in my mind I don't feel old. I suspect there are many like me. Great for yourself or gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shit Happens by White Willow Stitching
Shit Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Calling all those with a twisted sense of humor. StitchBitch has made a simple fact of life come alive in cross stitch. No smell included!
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine by White Willow Stitching
Sunshine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
A great cross stitch chart for those with a twisted sense of humor. The StitchBitch line of charts are not for those faint of heart and...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Was It The Hare? by Val's Stuff
Was It The Hare?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
This whimsical spring design features a tall bunny surrounded by blooming flowers and fluttering butterflies. Paired with the playful...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:68w x 168
Fabric:32ct. Linen Lemon Yellow
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 57
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:Sulky 12 Wt. Cotton Petites™
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 110 stitches wide by 128 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Have And To Fold by Silver Creek Samplers
To Have And To Fold
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
A humorous, vintage-inspired sampler that turns everyday chores into something worth smiling about. Featuring playful typography and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 98
Fabric:18ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$13.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak by MarNic Designs
Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 129
Fabric:0
$8.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
This versatile doll isn't just for the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Great for bridal shower, engagements, Valentine's Day! Includes 6...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 168
Fabric:28ct. Linen Light Mocha
Floss:Weeks,GentleArt,DMC Equivalent
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional Me by Imaginating
DysFUNctional Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a little sass to your stitching with this stylishly snarky pattern! Featuring a sophisticated lady in a sharp suit, chic hat, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 114
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:23 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Is Proof by Stitchnmomma
Chocolate Is Proof
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A quirky, easy-to-stitch piece for any chocolate lover. Or why not make it as a gift for the chocolate lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Size:5.71" x 5.43"
Fabric:0
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools of the Trade by Sue Hillis Designs
Tools of the Trade
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The tools every pirate needs. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an 8 inch by 10 inch frame. Three coin...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Lady Witch by PinoyStitch
Sassy Lady Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross stitch Sassy Ladies speak their mind! Designed retro style with quirky quotes for a fun project. Easy stitch, mostly full stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 11
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Work on Your Problem by Iris Originals
Work on Your Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever had someone who wanted you to drop everything and work on.... well, you know. Cute saying for an office wall - makes a great gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vision Problem by Iris Originals
Vision Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
About right for a lot of days for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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