Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Crabby by Stitchy Prose
If Crabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 80
Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Mama Ain't Happy by Iris Originals
If Mama Ain't Happy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 62
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Unbearable by Stitchy Prose
If Unbearable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A perfect stitch for somebody that needs a little more than the average Snickers Bar. "If unbearable, please go to the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 288
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:Classic Colorworks, DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great BEER saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A BEER IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm a Classic by Iris Originals
I'm a Classic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, getting old does have it's benefits - I'm still above the grass - BUT, I'm also becoming a "classic".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Awake by Iris Originals
I'm Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says me first thing in the morning.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Explaining by Iris Originals
I'm Explaining
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just another cute saying - and yes, I am right :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Multitasking. I Can Listen, Ignore and Forget at the Same Time by Cross Stitch Wonders
I'm Multitasking. I Can Listen, Ignore and Forget at the Same Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 120 stitches wide by 150 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 150
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not OCD by Iris Originals
I'm Not OCD
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Would you really do this - turn the toilet paper roll to go a different way at someone else's house? I've sure been tempted.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old by Iris Originals
I'm Not Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Numbers are included to change the ages - so it could apply to most anyone. I personally like the one on the cover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 111
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 57
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Weird by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
Fabric:0
$3.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Priceless by Iris Originals
I'm Priceless
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - priceless
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Sorry by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry, I ran out of Coffee, so today is cancelled. Easy chart - great for that coffee drinker.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN! An awesome saying that surely makes one smile. :-) Original...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:228w x 150
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Inner Unicorn by Peacock & Fig
Inner Unicorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe in unicorns? This pretty unicorn cross stitch pattern gently reminds you to believe that in the good and magical part of...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Inside Every Old Person by Iris Originals
Inside Every Old Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened! And how true is that?! But you know - at least we're old - better than...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Instant Human by Iris Originals
Instant Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Instant Human - just add Coffee" Cute little chart for the coffee lover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Introverted by Silver Creek Samplers
Introverted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
For those who’d rather stitch than socialize, Introverted says it perfectly. Filled with charming sewing motifs and soft, classic colors,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 70
Fabric:18ct. Aida Light Mocha
Floss:GAST, DMC Floss
$13.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Invisible Crown by Kiokiz
Invisible Crown
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Is This Day by Pine Glen Designs
Is This Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
This sampler askes the question that we all find ourselves asking on those days when "nothing goes right".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 63
Fabric:0
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Came With The House by Hands on Design
It Came With The House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Hands on Design
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 91
Fabric:32ct. belfast antique white
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Happened So Fast by Iris Originals
It Happened So Fast
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, it did feel like it was fast, and every week now just flies by.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Takes a Village by Imaginating
It Takes a Village
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's Cupcake O'Clock by Sue Hillis Designs
It's Cupcake O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Cupcake happy hour.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 116 stitches wide by 138 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler by The Stitcherhood
Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
The Itty Bitty Naughty Sampler is perfect for fans of subversive, snarky or humorous cross stitch patterns and designs. - Stitch Count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC floss: #3799 or any colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jesus And Coffee by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
Jesus And Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jingle Juice by Artists Alley
Jingle Juice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just One More Episode by Puntini Puntini
Just One More Episode
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Puntini Puntini
"Just one more episode and other lies I tell myself" Pattern is stitched on 35 ct Cocoa from Weeks Dye Works using DMC threads. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 63
Fabric:35ct. Linen Lambswool
Floss:DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Pee on It by Iris Originals
Just Pee on It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes I'd really like to do that - just pee on it and walk away.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Say No by Peacock & Fig
Just Say No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have you ever had days where you want to just say no to stupidity?! This elegant and funny cross stitch pattern is perfect for making you...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Saying by Iris Originals
Just Saying
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Since I have awesome grandchildren - I'm sure this is true (of course, I do have awesome children too).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor of DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kid Proof Lids by Iris Originals
Kid Proof Lids
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't know about you - but there are LOTS of lids out there that I can't open these days. They sure don't make things for older people to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
Kiss Me, I'm Kinda Irish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Miss Prim Cross Stitch
This versatile doll isn't just for the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Great for bridal shower, engagements, Valentine's Day! Includes 6...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 168
Fabric:28ct. Linen Light Mocha
Floss:Weeks,GentleArt,DMC Equivalent
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"Kitty Approved" by Artists Alley is a counted cross-stitch pattern featuring a charming, detailed feline design. 14-count Aida fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:165w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved 2 by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
a counted cross-stitch design featuring a cat-themed subject, available as a physical pattern leaflet. It is characterized as a detailed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:225w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Knew I'd Get Old by Iris Originals
Knew I'd Get Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it feels like it just sorta happened one day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry....Again? by New York Dreamer
Laundry....Again?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by New York Dreamer
Cross stitch pattern from New York Dreamer featuring the phrase "Laundry the never ending cycle"! The design was stitched on 32 ct....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:115w x 90
Fabric:32ct. Linen Natural Light
Floss:DMC
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let It Snow (Somewhere Else) by X's & Oh's
Let It Snow (Somewhere Else)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let the Sun Shine by Kooler Design Studio
Let the Sun Shine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kooler Design Studio
Let the sun shine in your heart! This warm greeting will surely put a smile on anyone's face. It's a clever little design that's fun to...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 5/8w X 5 1/2h"
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Multiple styles available
$8.90
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let's Go To Therapy by Imaginating
Let's Go To Therapy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A fun and colorful project that explains what exactly is the best therapy around!Let's Go To Therapy is designed to be stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Liberty Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Liberty Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Booty. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$7.00
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