Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Yeah - You Wish by Iris Originals
Yeah - You Wish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I wish!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vision Problem by Iris Originals
Vision Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
About right for a lot of days for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Protection by Iris Originals
Coffee Protection
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I drink coffee for your protection". Excellent gift for that coffee loving friend, or maybe for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Controlling my Tongue by Iris Originals
Controlling my Tongue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, sadly this is true most of the time!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Things by Iris Originals
Lots of Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If I had the energy - or the want to - that I had when I was 25 (or even 50) - I'd be a superwoman. Sadly, age is catching up with me and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Over the Hill by Iris Originals
Over the Hill
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, that would definitely be me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh don't you just hate it. I find it's so much easier to spill as I get older. Sure don't want to waste me precious coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida WHITE
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Look in the Mirror by Iris Originals
Look in the Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tips for Falling Asleep by Iris Originals
Tips for Falling Asleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't ask me how I know this. Oh yeah, I've watched other members of my family do this. I would never think of doing it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Your Dog Thinks by Iris Originals
What Your Dog Thinks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Good message - I hope I can live up to my little dog's ideaof me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:82w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Me, Weird? by Iris Originals
Me, Weird?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I'm not weird!! Never mind what my hubby or my kids say. I am absolutely unique!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Proceed with Caution by Iris Originals
Proceed with Caution
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Okay, I know lots of people who need this sign (not me, of course). Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 130. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience & Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This design pretty much says it all. Where is my patience - must be at the bottom of my coffee cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Swift as a Gazelle by Iris Originals
Swift as a Gazelle
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in the Morning by Iris Originals
Coffee in the Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee O'Clock by Iris Originals
Coffee O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not Enough Coffee by Iris Originals
Not Enough Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Elderly by Iris Originals
The Elderly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WD-40 by Iris Originals
WD-40
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it for me lots of days.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Respect for my Elders by Iris Originals
Respect for my Elders
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
True statement - for me at least. Easy stitch, cute as a gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lose Something by Iris Originals
Lose Something
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! That's my life these days. I just wish I knew where all those "safe places" are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Medic Alert Bracelet by Iris Originals
Medic Alert Bracelet
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord, My Dog by Iris Originals
Dear Lord, My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Coffee by Iris Originals
Too Much Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Far So Good by Imaginating
So Far So Good
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Take your R&R to a whole new level with this adorable and colorful design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 130 x 152. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 152
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:28 DMC colors
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Death Before Decaf by Rogue Stitchery
Death Before Decaf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the coffee lover! This design was stitched using bright DMC colors and is framed in an 8" x 8" shadow box frame. Any frame...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 76
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woodworking by Sue Hillis Designs
Woodworking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design! Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill, and clamps, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 72
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crabby Day by Sue Hillis Designs
Crabby Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Ever wake up crabby because you’ve got nothing to stitch? This cheeky little design captures that exact feeling—with a bright coral crab...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A fun, age-positive design with a playful sense of humor. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the relatable phrase “My body knows how old I am,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROSS STITCH and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful saying for any CROSS STITCH enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Coffee (or Beer, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) CROSS STITCH and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Badass Granddaughter by Iris Originals
Badass Granddaughter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is dedicated to my two wonderful granddaughters. Not little girls anymore but always wonderful girls. If you have a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:177w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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