Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had Coffee by Iris Originals
Had Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I woke up got out of bed and had coffee. That's probably enough activity for one day. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 97 x 96....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Eyesight by Iris Originals
Your Eyesight
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's pretty much me these days - how about you??
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Freshly Brewed Coffee by Iris Originals
Freshly Brewed Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee - or maybe you're not a coffeeholic like me. Anyway, this makes a great little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Amaze Myself by Iris Originals
Amaze Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, that just happens some days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anhor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Nap by Iris Originals
A Nap
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up from the Sofa by Iris Originals
Get Up from the Sofa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And sometimes three - but life is good. Glad to be alive!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Prevents Injuries by Iris Originals
Coffee Prevents Injuries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee saying - if you love coffee, or know someone who does, this makes a great little gift or saying near your coffee pot.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 colors DMC or Anchor fllss
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lids on Jars by Iris Originals
Lids on Jars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this seems to be an everyday occasion in my life - anytime I'm faced with a jar, bottle or whatever needs to be opened. Yeah, I know...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm a Classic by Iris Originals
I'm a Classic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, getting old does have it's benefits - I'm still above the grass - BUT, I'm also becoming a "classic".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Controlling my Tongue by Iris Originals
Controlling my Tongue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, sadly this is true most of the time!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Yeah - You Wish by Iris Originals
Yeah - You Wish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I wish!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Over the Hill by Iris Originals
Over the Hill
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'll never be over the hill - I'm too tired to climb it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 78 x 87. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vision Problem by Iris Originals
Vision Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
About right for a lot of days for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 113 x 115. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Protection by Iris Originals
Coffee Protection
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I drink coffee for your protection". Excellent gift for that coffee loving friend, or maybe for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Things by Iris Originals
Lots of Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If I had the energy - or the want to - that I had when I was 25 (or even 50) - I'd be a superwoman. Sadly, age is catching up with me and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Me, Weird? by Iris Originals
Me, Weird?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Me weird? I think you mean very freakin' unique! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 96. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Look in the Mirror by Iris Originals
Look in the Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tips for Falling Asleep by Iris Originals
Tips for Falling Asleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't ask me how I know this. Oh yeah, I've watched other members of my family do this. I would never think of doing it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 skeins Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Your Dog Thinks by Iris Originals
What Your Dog Thinks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Good message - I hope I can live up to my little dog's ideaof me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:82w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Proceed with Caution by Iris Originals
Proceed with Caution
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Okay, I know lots of people who need this sign (not me, of course). Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 130. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience & Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This design pretty much says it all. Where is my patience - must be at the bottom of my coffee cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Swift as a Gazelle by Iris Originals
Swift as a Gazelle
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in the Morning by Iris Originals
Coffee in the Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee O'Clock by Iris Originals
Coffee O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WD-40 by Iris Originals
WD-40
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it for me lots of days.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Respect for my Elders by Iris Originals
Respect for my Elders
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
True statement - for me at least. Easy stitch, cute as a gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not Enough Coffee by Iris Originals
Not Enough Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Elderly by Iris Originals
The Elderly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lose Something by Iris Originals
Lose Something
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! That's my life these days. I just wish I knew where all those "safe places" are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Medic Alert Bracelet by Iris Originals
Medic Alert Bracelet
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord, My Dog by Iris Originals
Dear Lord, My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Coffee by Iris Originals
Too Much Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Death Before Decaf by Rogue Stitchery
Death Before Decaf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the coffee lover! This design was stitched using bright DMC colors and is framed in an 8" x 8" shadow box frame. Any frame...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 76
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.89
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Hard to Get Back up by Iris Originals
Too Hard to Get Back up
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Growing older has never been so relatable! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who can laugh at the little aches and pains that come...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woodworking by Sue Hillis Designs
Woodworking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design. Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill and clamps, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 72
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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