Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Face That Cares by Peacock & Fig
Face That Cares
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Face That Cares cross stitch pattern is set in a lovely orchard featuring pretty shades of peach and pink, juxtaposed with the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 125
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  2/9/2021
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Saying by Iris Originals
Just Saying
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Since I have awesome grandchildren - I'm sure this is true (of course, I do have awesome children too).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor of DMC
Released:  2/1/2021
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN! An awesome saying that surely makes one smile. :-) Original...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:228w x 150
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  1/28/2021
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Drink Coffee by Iris Originals
Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - depends on how much you drink.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  1/21/2021
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, List to do by Kiokiz
List to do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 85
Fabric:0
Released:  1/20/2021
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old and Wise by Iris Originals
Old and Wise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  1/14/2021
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, British Accent by Kiokiz
British Accent
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 80
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  1/4/2021
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Dinosaurs by Iris Originals
Coffee and Dinosaurs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, those poor dinosaurs. Thank God we have coffee - my hubby used to say I just needed a coffee IV. Great gift for that coffee lover in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  1/3/2021
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Weird by Iris Originals
Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it really is! Yes, I'm old - but in my mind I don't feel old. I suspect there are many like me. Great for yourself or gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  12/18/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
Released:  12/17/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #1 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 74
Fabric:0
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
Released:  12/1/2020
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When Life Gives you Lemons by Iris Originals
When Life Gives you Lemons
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"When life gives you lemons, put them in your sweet tea and thank God you're a southerner!" And if you're not a southerner - you can still...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:73w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  11/15/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy since birth by Kiokiz
Sassy since birth
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 63
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  11/15/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
Released:  11/9/2020
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  11/7/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 116 stitches wide by 138 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/31/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Multitasking. I Can Listen, Ignore and Forget at the Same Time by Cross Stitch Wonders
I'm Multitasking. I Can Listen, Ignore and Forget at the Same Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 120 stitches wide by 150 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 150
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/31/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Update Still Love Dogs People Not So Much by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Update Still Love Dogs People Not So Much
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
ADORABLE DOG Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 110 stitches wide by 128 stitches high.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/31/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 110 stitches wide by 128 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/31/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Oh Quaran-Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
Oh Quaran-Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 67...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/30/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, 2020 Is Elfed Up by Cross Stitch Wonders
2020 Is Elfed Up
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 64...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/30/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go by Cross Stitch Wonders
Hey Hey Hey Ho Ho Ho 2020 It's Gotta Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 79...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 76
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/30/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It was the Gnome! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by Black Cats Media. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:144w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Released:  10/23/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  10/15/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  10/15/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/11/2020
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Will Follow You by Iris Originals
I Will Follow You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  10/10/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
Released:  10/6/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
Released:  9/26/2020
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
Released:  9/22/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  9/9/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old by Iris Originals
I'm Not Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Numbers are included to change the ages - so it could apply to most anyone. I personally like the one on the cover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 111
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  9/2/2020
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Tired by Iris Originals
Too Tired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty well describes me these days. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  8/8/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  8/1/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  7/25/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great BEER saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A BEER IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  7/20/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Released:  7/19/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Successful Woman by Iris Originals
Successful Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, the chart pretty much says it all! Yes, I'm a huge dog lover AND a pretty big coffee drinker. Cute chart for yourself or a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or D
Released:  7/11/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  7/5/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
Released:  7/1/2020
$8.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness is Pizza by Romy's Creations
Happiness is Pizza
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Released:  7/1/2020
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/21/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dashing Through the Hell No by Peacock & Fig
Dashing Through the Hell No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Dashing through the what?! Oh hell, no. If you go dashing through anything it’ll be the airport on the way to a tropical destination,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Astrology by Peacock & Fig
Astrology
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether astrology is your thing or not, this humorous cross stitch pattern is sure to generate laughs. With vivid blues and purples and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 100
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fa La La Wine by Peacock & Fig
Fa La La Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Open up that box of wine and let’s make Christmas Carols fun again. “Tis the season to be boozy…” “Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 55
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lump of Coal by Peacock & Fig
Lump of Coal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Here’s the perfect gift to make for that family member that does all of their Christmas shopping at the dollar store. Tell them how much...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Older I Get by Iris Originals
The Older I Get
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, unfortunately that sign says it all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/13/2020
$6.00
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