Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  10/15/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  10/15/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  10/11/2020
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Will Follow You by Iris Originals
I Will Follow You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  10/10/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
Designer:The Stitcherhood
Released:  10/6/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
Released:  9/26/2020
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
Released:  9/22/2020
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  9/9/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old by Iris Originals
I'm Not Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Numbers are included to change the ages - so it could apply to most anyone. I personally like the one on the cover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 111
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  9/2/2020
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Tired by Iris Originals
Too Tired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty well describes me these days. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  8/8/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  8/1/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a glass of WINE in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great WINE saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A GLASS OF WINE IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  7/25/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face. by Cross Stitch Wonders
If you keep a BEER in each hand, you can't touch your face.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great BEER saying with wearing a mask for Covid in mind! IF YOU KEEP A BEER IN EACH HAND, YOU CAN'T TOUCH YOUR FACE counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  7/20/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Released:  7/19/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Successful Woman by Iris Originals
Successful Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, the chart pretty much says it all! Yes, I'm a huge dog lover AND a pretty big coffee drinker. Cute chart for yourself or a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or D
Released:  7/11/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  7/5/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
Released:  7/1/2020
On Sale:$7.59
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness is Pizza by Romy's Creations
Happiness is Pizza
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Released:  7/1/2020
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/21/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dashing Through the Hell No by Peacock & Fig
Dashing Through the Hell No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Dashing through the what?! Oh hell, no. If you go dashing through anything it’ll be the airport on the way to a tropical destination,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Astrology by Peacock & Fig
Astrology
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether astrology is your thing or not, this humorous cross stitch pattern is sure to generate laughs. With vivid blues and purples and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 100
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fa La La Wine by Peacock & Fig
Fa La La Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Open up that box of wine and let’s make Christmas Carols fun again. “Tis the season to be boozy…” “Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 55
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lump of Coal by Peacock & Fig
Lump of Coal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Here’s the perfect gift to make for that family member that does all of their Christmas shopping at the dollar store. Tell them how much...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  6/18/2020
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Older I Get by Iris Originals
The Older I Get
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, unfortunately that sign says it all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/13/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog by Iris Originals
My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying about my dog - and yes, he really does think I'm awesome :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 skeins Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/13/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male dog) :-) A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/10/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/7/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/16/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/16/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
Released:  5/14/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! DON'T KALE MY VIBE in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! YOU'VE GUAC TO BE...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Samplers Since 1675 by Peacock & Fig
Samplers Since 1675
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Putting a cheeky twist on the beautiful and sometimes “strained” history of samplers, the Samplers Since 1675 cross stitch pattern is sure...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, She Betta Don't by Peacock & Fig
She Betta Don't
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’ve ever caught yourself slaving away on some completely inane task like sweeping up after the kids for what feels like the fifteenth...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/8/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/1/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  4/9/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Worry by Iris Originals
Worry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Worry is a misuse of imagingation. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 79 x 54. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  4/5/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hump Day by Iris Originals
Hump Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, if you know me - or have checked out my charts, you might know I'm a coffee addict. I know I'm not the only one - so this is great...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  3/3/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  3/2/2020
$6.30
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