Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog by Iris Originals
My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying about my dog - and yes, he really does think I'm awesome :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 skeins Anchor or DMC
Released:  6/13/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Dog Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male dog) :-) A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 146
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/10/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  6/7/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YES, I DO HAVE A RETIREMENT PLAN I PLAN ON CAMPING
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great RETIREMENT / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/17/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/16/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/16/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! DON'T KALE MY VIBE in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! YOU'VE GUAC TO BE...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/14/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Samplers Since 1675 by Peacock & Fig
Samplers Since 1675
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Putting a cheeky twist on the beautiful and sometimes “strained” history of samplers, the Samplers Since 1675 cross stitch pattern is sure...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, She Betta Don't by Peacock & Fig
She Betta Don't
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’ve ever caught yourself slaving away on some completely inane task like sweeping up after the kids for what feels like the fifteenth...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/12/2020
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/8/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up and Go by Iris Originals
Get Up and Go
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  5/1/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  4/9/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Worry by Iris Originals
Worry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Worry - it changes nothing, except maybe our health. It accomplishes nothing - except perhaps making us feel worse. But, we all do it -...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  4/5/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hump Day by Iris Originals
Hump Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, if you know me - or have checked out my charts, you might know I'm a coffee addict. I know I'm not the only one - so this is great...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
Released:  3/3/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  3/2/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Beer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN COFFEE AND BEER saying/phrase design. Designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 80 stitches wide by 128...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 128
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  2/29/2020
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Cat Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 74
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  2/20/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
Released:  2/20/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  2/6/2020
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Owner vs Resume by Iris Originals
Owner vs Resume
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have either a cat or dog you'll appreciate this chart. I have both and this fits pretty well.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  1/20/2020
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in the Morning by Iris Originals
Coffee in the Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  1/18/2020
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty (in soft mocha tones) positioned atop the bold phrase—making it both a laugh-out-loud...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  1/12/2020
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse the Mess by Shannon Christine Designs
Excuse the Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 113. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:17 DMC colors
Released:  1/3/2020
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Craft Room by Shannon Christine Designs
Craft Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black
Floss:DMC
Released:  1/3/2020
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Old Lady by Iris Originals
Grumpy Old Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, sometimes I'm a grumpy old lady, but hey - I'm still above the grass, so I'm blessed.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  12/11/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Retired by Iris Originals
Retired
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What DO you call a person who's happy on Monday - well, retired seems a fitting term.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
Released:  12/5/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Side Effects by Iris Originals
Side Effects
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you know it - the older I get (and yes, I am old) the more I know I'm old from the way I'm feeling. Everyone knows that all meds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  11/19/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pooch Me Hame by Peacock & Fig
Pooch Me Hame
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The vibrant tones and metallic shimmer of the elegant Pooch Me Hame cross stitch pattern hides a little “surprise”… the text. This...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
Released:  11/13/2019
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Act My Age by Iris Originals
Act My Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
Released:  11/12/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Coven by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven, a whimsical Wiccan Halloween cross stitch pattern. Model stitched on 14 count oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 57
Fabric:14ct. Aida oatmeal
Released:  10/25/2019
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah by Iris Originals
Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever feel this way in the morning - Some days I'm moving about as fast as this little guy. Added him because my granddaughter loves...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 85
Fabric:14ct. picture this plus artic
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  10/14/2019
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stupid Things by Iris Originals
Stupid Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another 'old people' chart - and I'm entitled to offer this.... since I'm old. Hopefully I'm not doing quite as many stupid things,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 103
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  10/14/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine & Roses by Iris Originals
Sunshine & Roses
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Do you ever have days like that? I do and I suspect most of use do. Sunshine & Roses vs Rain Clouds, Donkey butts and Poison Ivy. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
Released:  9/17/2019
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seize the Day by Iris Originals
Seize the Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This would definitely be me - "I'm gonna need more coffee before I seize anything". Cute coffee saying for your kitchen or as a gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
Released:  8/27/2019
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "Let's Party!" by StitchyFish Designs
"Let's Party!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
Brand New! "Let's Party!" by StitchyFishDesigns It's Halloween and all the little ghoulie's are out to party... but some may be more...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Lee Fisher - StitchyFish Designs
Released:  8/15/2019
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Funny Saying - Alexa, Clean My House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A FUNNY ALEXA SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 159 stitches wide by 119 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:159w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  8/14/2019
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Funny Saying - More BOOS Please by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Funny Saying - More BOOS Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A FUNNY HALLOWEEN / DRINKING SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 77
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
Released:  8/13/2019
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I have it all together by Paine Free Crafts
I have it all together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Paine Free Crafts
Paine Free Crafts licences a wide range of art from all around the world. We carefully edit and convert the art using photo editing...
Pattern Details:
Size:17" x 14"(with 3" border) on 25 count fabric
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC (9 colours)
Released:  8/13/2019
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  8/6/2019
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better With Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is Better With Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your devotion to whiskers and purrs shine in every stitch! This delightful pattern spells out a heartfelt truth with playfulness—Life...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  8/5/2019
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Today's Workout by Cross Stitch Wonders
Today's Workout
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Hilarious WINE SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 146 stitches wide by 157...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:146w x 157
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
Released:  8/5/2019
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
Released:  8/5/2019
$6.50
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