Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Me, Weird? by Iris Originals
Me, Weird?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Me weird? I think you mean very freakin' unique! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 96. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Measure of a Man by White Willow Stitching
Measure of a Man
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Ready to giggle? Between fish stories and other man stories many of us know this one in our sleep and now StitchBitch has brought it to us...
Pattern Details:
Floss:3 DMC Floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Medic Alert Bracelet by Iris Originals
Medic Alert Bracelet
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Memory Error by Silver Creek Samplers
Memory Error
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
Add a nostalgic twist to your stitching with Memory Error by Silver Creek Samplers. This playful design features a retro-inspired character...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:123w x 77
Fabric:18ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss
$13.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mermaid Struggles by Peacock & Fig
Mermaid Struggles
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The fourth of the Mermaid Tales cross stitch pattern set, this sassy cross stitch pattern inspires you to take a beach holiday. Beautiful...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, MetalFoot's Missives I by Stitchnmomma
MetalFoot's Missives I
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A fun, easy stitched "subversive" style quote in a series created by my son "MetalFoot". This design uses just 4 colors and all full...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:4 DMC Cotton Colors
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Midlife by Sampler Sensibility
Midlife
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sampler Sensibility
"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself " -from a letter to Elizabeth Holland from Emily Dickinson, 1856 Relatable quote to all on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 36
Fabric:28ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:Gentle Art, DMC
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Minis: Chocolate is the Answer by PinoyStitch
Minis: Chocolate is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross Stitch Pattern: Chocolate is the Answer Designed by: ©...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 59
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Colors: 10
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Minis: Witchy Woman by PinoyStitch
Minis: Witchy Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross Stitch Pattern: Witchy Woman Designed by: ©...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 48
Floss:DMC Colors: 4
Designer:© PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mirror Mirror by Peacock & Fig
Mirror Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mirror Mirror cross stitch pattern, the third of the Mermaid Tales cross stitch pattern set, is a cheeky look at a mermaid’s beauty...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Boy by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 33
Fabric:14ct. aida
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Girl by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Girl
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Tea by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Tea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Work by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, More Alcohol by Peacock & Fig
More Alcohol
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This calls for more alcohol. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 70. Model stitched on 32ct Light Mint Splash Lugana by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 70
Fabric:32ct. Lugana
Floss:6 DMC colors
$9.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Movie Quotes by Kiokiz
Movie Quotes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 35
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ms. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Ms. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 115
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Features a cute dinosaur with the phrase - My body knows how old I am, but my mind just refuses to believe it! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY by Iris Originals
My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So you have a cat who wakes you --- or you have a friend that does. This is a compliment chart to my "My Dog". So now both are available...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog by Iris Originals
My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying about my dog - and yes, he really does think I'm awesome :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/DRINKING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Design is 135 stitches wide by 98 stitches high. Included is a large/easy...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My hobby by Kiokiz
My hobby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Little Dog by Iris Originals
My Little Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, this is SO TRUE of my little dog. He is barking as I type - probably because a cricket jumped outside. But, he's a sweetie, small...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Aida
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out of my mouth! That's never a good thing! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Necessary Insanity by Cross-Point Designs
Necessary Insanity
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Great for the office! Featuring Felix, a real live twenty pound cat who sometimes gets himself into a little bit of trouble. A floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Need to Read by Rogue Stitchery
Need to Read
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a double-sided, single page. The first side is the cover page. It contains a full color photo of the stitched design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, New Day by White Willow Stitching
New Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Frost Please by X's & Oh's
No Frost Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Harm...But by Artists Alley
No Harm...But
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Roses are red, candles are lit, do no harm but take no shit. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 137 x 166. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 166
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:22 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Insomnia by Rogue Stitchery
No Insomnia
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
I dont' have insomnia - I have a really good book and no respect for tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 32 x 105....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:21 DMC colors
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Shelf Control by Rogue Stitchery
No Shelf Control
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:199w x 126
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Solicitors by Artists Alley
No Solicitors
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:150w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah, and some days I'm not even sure what "normal" is!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not Enough Coffee by Iris Originals
Not Enough Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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