Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Tea by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Tea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Fabric:0
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Modern Dictionary: Work by Stitchnmomma
Modern Dictionary: Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Looking for a quick weekend project? Then this piece from my Modern Dictionary Series is perfect for you! This series gives fun, modern...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Fabric:0
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, More Alcohol by Peacock & Fig
More Alcohol
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The More Alcohol cross stitch pattern is a cheeky quote that can inspire greatness and shenanigans in the best of us.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$9.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Movie Quotes by Kiokiz
Movie Quotes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 35
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ms. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Ms. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 115
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Multi Tasker by Iris Originals
Multi Tasker
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - this is one of my better talents - "Listen, ignore and forget all at the same time." Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 147
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A fun, age-positive design with a playful sense of humor. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the relatable phrase “My body knows how old I am,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat Thinks I'm Cool by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Cat Thinks I'm Cool She's Very Wise. (omit the S in she if you have a male cat) :-) A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:160w x 155
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY by Iris Originals
My Cat.... Wakes Me EARLY
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So you have a cat who wakes you --- or you have a friend that does. This is a compliment chart to my "My Dog". So now both are available...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Dog by Iris Originals
My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying about my dog - and yes, he really does think I'm awesome :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
My Drinking Friends ... Fishing Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great FRIENDS/DRINKING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Design is 135 stitches wide by 98 stitches high. Included is a large/easy...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My hobby by Kiokiz
My hobby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Little Dog by Iris Originals
My Little Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, this is SO TRUE of my little dog. He is barking as I type - probably because a cricket jumped outside. But, he's a sweetie, small...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Aida
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
No - not necessarily a good thing. I have to work at it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Necessary Insanity by Cross-Point Designs
Necessary Insanity
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Great for the office! Featuring Felix, a real live twenty pound cat who sometimes gets himself into a little bit of trouble. A floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Need to Read by Rogue Stitchery
Need to Read
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a double-sided, single page. The first side is the cover page. It contains a full color photo of the stitched design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
Fabric:0
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, New Day by White Willow Stitching
New Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Frost Please by X's & Oh's
No Frost Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Harm...But by Artists Alley
No Harm...But
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
The "No Harm...But" cross stitch pattern by Artists Alley is a "funny phrase" subversive design Approximately 9.8" x 11.9" on 14-count...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 166
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Insomnia by Rogue Stitchery
No Insomnia
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
I dont' have insomnia - I have a really good book and no respect for tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 32 x 105....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:21 DMC colors
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Shelf Control by Rogue Stitchery
No Shelf Control
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design; an easy-to-read pattern that spreads...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:199w x 126
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Solicitors by Artists Alley
No Solicitors
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:150w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah, and some days I'm not even sure what "normal" is!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not Enough Coffee by Iris Originals
Not Enough Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Dog by Iris Originals
Not My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, only MY dog gets to boss me around.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMX
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Monkeys by Imaginating
Not My Monkeys
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
These cute monkeys take you under the Big Top to say this funny and familiar phrase!Not My Monkeys is designed to be stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 176
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Note to Self by Iris Originals
Note to Self
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, everyday. Just because I think it doesn't mean I should say it!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Nothing Done by Iris Originals
Nothing Done
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:13 colors Anchor or DMC
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder by Rogue Stitchery
OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the Coffee Obsessive! This pattern uses various mauves, greens and gray-ish cocoas. The horizontal border along the top and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 91
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD ... Camping by Cross Stitch Wonders
OCD ... Camping
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD Christmas by Artists Alley
OCD Christmas
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"OCD Christmas" by Artists Alley is a detailed holiday-themed cross-stitch pattern featuring vibrant, meticulously ordered scenes typical...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 40
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Of Course I'm Cute by Iris Originals
Of Course I'm Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A sassy, confidence-boosting design with a wink of humor. Featuring a cute character and the playful phrase “Of course I’m cute… haven’t...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Official Cookie Tester by Cross Stitch Wonders
Official Cookie Tester
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great HOLIDAY Phrase/Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Oh Quaran-Tree by Cross Stitch Wonders
Oh Quaran-Tree
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A PERFECT summery of 2020, is this cute Christmas Saying counted cross stitch design. Cross Stitch design by Marcia Manning. Design is 67...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ohh Deer Christmas is Here by Cross Stitch Wonders
Ohh Deer Christmas is Here
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great HOLIDAY Phrase/Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old Age by Iris Originals
Old Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This applies both literally and figuratively. It IS hard to get back up, whether you're actually on the floor, or... it feels like you...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:152w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old and Wise by Iris Originals
Old and Wise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about you, but if you're old, you were probably young and stupid at one time - I sure was. But.... now I'm...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
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