Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Haunted House by Iris Originals
Haunted House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup - I feel like every time I look in the mirror - but hey - I woke up above the grass today - so it's a good day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Unstoppable by Iris Originals
Unstoppable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, sometimes that's the most difficult part - just getting startd.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shit Happens by White Willow Stitching
Shit Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 84 x 46. Model stitched on 14ct Lambswool Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:4 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Matilda Mallstomper by Alma Lynne Designs
Matilda Mallstomper
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alma Lynne Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 180 x 248. Model stitched on 14ct Antique White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 248
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:39 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Find It by Iris Originals
When I Find It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Happens to me all the time.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Frogs be Few by Iris Originals
May Your Frogs be Few
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 900
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do I? by White Willow Stitching
How Do I?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO FISHING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO FISHING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any FISHING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Beer (or Coffee, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) GO FISHING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Light Up! by White Willow Stitching
Light Up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Light Up! is designed by StitchBitch. Created for those with a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. This chart does use both full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee First by Iris Originals
Coffee First
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You go ahead and seize the day - I need coffee first!! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95 x 77. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Knew I'd Get Old by Iris Originals
Knew I'd Get Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it feels like it just sorta happened one day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Happns by Iris Originals
Life Happns
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Always - coffee always helps!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:13 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GARDENING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GARDEN and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CAMPING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Tea) GO CAMPING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Frost Please by X's & Oh's
No Frost Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Fairy by Iris Originals
Coffee Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience and Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any ANIMAL / RESCUE / SHELTER enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Wine (or Coffee, Beer, Tea, Cocktails) SAVE ANIMALS and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who always have a comeback ready, this colorful and humorous design is perfect for anyone who proudly admits they were simply...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Perfect for anyone fluent in sarcasm, this colorful design features the hilarious phrase, "Eye Rolling Is My Cardio." A fun stitch that's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone who's ever felt like they're barely keeping it together, this nautical-inspired design delivers the perfect dose of humor. A fun...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A cheerful reminder to embrace each day with a positive outlook, this uplifting design encourages you to focus on the sunshine and leave...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little sassy and full of confidence, this humorous design is perfect for anyone who believes that not everyone has good taste. A fun...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who prefer to do things their own way, this witty design delivers plenty of sass and humor. A fun stitch that's perfect for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Start your day with a smile and a cup of coffee! This playful design featuring a mischievous cat is the perfect stitch for coffee lovers...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
oin the fun side with this cheeky design featuring the irresistible invitation, "Come to the Dark Side... We Have Cookies." A playful...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings. by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Not a morning person? This hilarious design says it all! Perfect for anyone who needs coffee before conversation and isn't afraid to admit...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life's too short to skip dessert! This colorful and lighthearted design is perfect for anyone who believes it's always somebody's birthday...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little bold, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This playful design is perfect for anyone with a feisty sense of humor and a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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