Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  10/9/2025
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee & Dinosaurs #2 by Iris Originals
Coffee & Dinosaurs #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee is vital for survival - Dinosaurs didn't have coffee - Look how that turned out. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
Released:  8/28/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Drink Coffee by Sweet Wing Studio
To Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
For the true coffee lovers out there—this fun and cheeky design says it all! Bold lettering and cozy colors make this a perfect project to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 90
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Mushroom
Floss:WDW, DMC and CCW
Released:  8/4/2025
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Overthink by Lucy Beam
Overthink
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A warm, relatable design that mixes heartfelt sentiment with gentle humor. Featuring soft, rustic motifs and the honest phrase “Pray for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 70
Fabric:36ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:Gentle Art, DMC
Released:  8/4/2025
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Anxious by Lucy Beam
Anxious
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Lucy Beam
A heartfelt, gently humorous design that blends honesty with charm. Featuring delicate florals and the candid phrase “Pray for me, I’m...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 95
Fabric:36ct. Linen
Floss:Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC Floss
Released:  8/4/2025
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ruin Your Day by Imaginating
Ruin Your Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This moody little stitch features a frazzled heroine, her concerned pup and the ultimate sarcastic mantra for those days when you're just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
Released:  7/30/2025
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Ruin Your Day by Imaginating
Ruin Your Day
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
When life rains on your parade, grab your umbrella, scowl proudly, and remember—ruining your day is a you job. This moody little stitch...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
Released:  7/30/2025
$20.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Features a cute dinosaur with the phrase - My body knows how old I am, but my mind just refuses to believe it! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  7/24/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Of Course I'm Cute by Iris Originals
Of Course I'm Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Of course I’m cute… haven’t you seen my great-gram! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 DMC colors
Released:  7/17/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  7/17/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Opinion by Imaginating
Your Opinion
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Your Opinion" is for the unapologetically bold! Featuring a confident woman with one hand on her hip and the other dismissively raised,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
Released:  6/27/2025
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Your Opinion by Imaginating
Your Opinion
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Your Opinion" is for the unapologetically bold! Featuring a confident woman with one hand on her hip and the other dismissively raised,...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
Released:  6/27/2025
$21.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  6/26/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Productive by Iris Originals
Be Productive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I wake up every morning planning to be productive then the voice inside my head says..."Ha, Ha, Good one!" And we laugh & laugh and drink...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Released:  6/26/2025
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
Released:  6/19/2025
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal by Iris Originals
Normal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes I pretend to be Normal...But I get bored and go back to being Me! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 103 x 94. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Released:  6/19/2025
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Eyeroll by Imaginating
Eyeroll
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Features a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, with the hilarious phrase, “One of these days I'm going to eyeroll myself...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
Released:  6/17/2025
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Eyeroll by Imaginating
Eyeroll
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
We've all had those days, and this stitch captures it perfectly! Featuring a frazzled woman at her desk, clearly done with it all, this...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
Released:  6/17/2025
$18.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
Released:  6/8/2025
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Ex People Person by Imaginating
Ex People Person
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
For the social butterfly who’s gracefully retired her wings. This cheeky pattern features the phrase “I used to be a people person but...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
Released:  6/3/2025
$16.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ex-People Person by Imaginating
Ex-People Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This cheeky pattern features the phrase “I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me”, with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
Released:  6/3/2025
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Always One by Rosewood Manor
Always One
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "There is always one in every crowd"! Pattern is stitched on 28 ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/30/2025
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Unbearable by Stitchy Prose
If Unbearable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A perfect stitch for somebody that needs a little more than the average Snickers Bar. "If unbearable, please go to the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 288
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:Classic Colorworks, DMC
Released:  5/30/2025
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Barefoot by Rosewood Manor
Barefoot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rosewood Manor
Cross stitch pattern from Rosewood Manor featuring the phrase "If you are not barefoot, then you are overdressed"! Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC
Released:  5/30/2025
$7.50
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