Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All Day by Iris Originals
All Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Professional Help by Iris Originals
Professional Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We probably all need professional help at some point - but I could use these on a daily basis :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bench Press a Buick by Iris Originals
Bench Press a Buick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I've felt that way sometimes. Great chart to remind yourself how strong you really are - or a great gift for that super friend. Counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Finally Got it Together by Iris Originals
Finally Got it Together
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute, fun chart - "Finally got it altogether, but I forgot where I put it."
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Owner vs Resume by Iris Originals
Owner vs Resume
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have either a cat or dog you'll appreciate this chart. I have both and this fits pretty well.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:129w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Magic Beans by Iris Originals
Magic Beans
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee design - Fairy tales and magic beans... turn me into a human.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 66
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Slow Down Sparky by Iris Originals
Slow Down Sparky
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it's annoying to get old and not be able to move as fast as we once could. But.... I'm still moving and above the grass, so a lot to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sunshine & Roses by Iris Originals
Sunshine & Roses
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Do you ever have days like that? I do and I suspect most of use do. Sunshine & Roses vs Rain Clouds, Donkey butts and Poison Ivy. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Attitude Adjustment by Iris Originals
Attitude Adjustment
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This may not apply to you - but it definitely does to me - attitude adjustment in a mug. How appropriate :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Water is Important by Iris Originals
Water is Important
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Without water you cannot make coffee - and I'm all about the coffee. This will make a cute little gift for that coffee lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 69
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Sorry by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm Sorry, I ran out of Coffee, so today is cancelled. Easy chart - great for that coffee drinker.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Successful Woman by Iris Originals
Successful Woman
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, the chart pretty much says it all! Yes, I'm a huge dog lover AND a pretty big coffee drinker. Cute chart for yourself or a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or D
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Magic Coffee by Iris Originals
Magic Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. I do love my coffee and I love to smell coffee. It is about as close to magic as you can get.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best Friends & Coffee by Iris Originals
Best Friends & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Best Friends don't care if your house is clean, they care if you have coffee. Great chart for coffee lovers.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Understands by Iris Originals
Coffee Understands
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I love coffee, and it always seems to cheer me up. Great gift for a coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida Platinum
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seize the Day by Iris Originals
Seize the Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This would definitely be me - "I'm gonna need more coffee before I seize anything". Cute coffee saying for your kitchen or as a gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Drink Coffee by Iris Originals
Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah - depends on how much you drink.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Teacher by Iris Originals
Dear Teacher
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is dedicated to my youngest son - and very appropriate. Great for anyone who has this talkative child :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Instant Human by Iris Originals
Instant Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Instant Human - just add Coffee" Cute little chart for the coffee lover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Happens by Iris Originals
Life Happens
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's the way I feel a lot of mornings (and afternoons and evenings). Coffee always helps.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:75w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Survivor by Iris Originals
Coffee Survivor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee Survivor - one who can ask for coffee in any language!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hump Day by Iris Originals
Hump Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, if you know me - or have checked out my charts, you might know I'm a coffee addict. I know I'm not the only one - so this is great...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, But First, Coffee by Iris Originals
But First, Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
No explanation necessary - BUT FIRST, COFFEE! :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 45
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Don't Exercise by Iris Originals
I Don't Exercise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, you know with me, coffee comes first. It's tricky to do anything with coffee in my cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 82
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You know how a little kid is if their balloon gets away - well, that about says it all. Be careful - don't spill the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old and Wise by Iris Originals
Old and Wise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 89 x 89....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jesus And Coffee by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
Jesus And Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Old Ain't for Sissies by Iris Originals
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 143 x 133....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 133
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC & Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You To The Moon by Imaginating
Love You To The Moon
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Shoot for the stars with this sweet and whimsical design! Featuring a colorful rocket ship, crescent moon, and twinkling stars, it’s...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 127
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let's Go To Therapy by Imaginating
Let's Go To Therapy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A fun and colorful project that explains what exactly is the best therapy around!Let's Go To Therapy is designed to be stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Older by Iris Originals
Getting Older
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rolling Eyes by Iris Originals
Rolling Eyes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?" I'm sure you never do that - unfortunately I do it frequently so this is an appropriate saying...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Act My Age by Iris Originals
Act My Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aged Wine by Bobbie G Designs
Aged Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:43w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Common Sense by Iris Originals
Common Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Mama Ain't Happy by Iris Originals
If Mama Ain't Happy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 62
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Will Follow You by Iris Originals
I Will Follow You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If you have dogs or cats, you probably can relate to this. Especially in the world we live in now. My little furbabies think they have to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be Decisive by Iris Originals
Be Decisive
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Be decisive. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Moon was Full by The Stitcherhood
The Moon was Full
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
In my defense, the moon was full and I was unsupervised. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 92. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$6.00
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