Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Full Time Job by Imaginating
Full Time Job
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This leaflet includes the chart and instructions.   The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 69
Floss:DMC
Designer:Diane Arthurs
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Unicorn by Kiokiz
Unicorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When Life Gives you Lemons by Iris Originals
When Life Gives you Lemons
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"When life gives you lemons, put them in your sweet tea and thank God you're a southerner!" And if you're not a southerner - you can still...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:73w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Silence you Peasant by Iris Originals
Silence you Peasant
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever just wanted to tell someone "shut up" - try it this way :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 count
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bad Boy by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #2 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:36w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #3 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #4 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #5 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #5
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #6 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #6
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:33w x 24
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #7 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #7
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #8 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #8
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #9 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #9
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 48
Fabric:32ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Feral by Stitchnmomma
Feral
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Is it meno-rage? Is it acute sleep deprivation? Is it the current state of our country? I don’t know, but I know it has been my current...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 28
Fabric:28ct. Linen Opalescent Teal
Floss:1 DMC Color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bookstore by Rogue Stitchery
Bookstore
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Smell the Pages by Rogue Stitchery
Smell the Pages
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
A gentle reminder to slow down and savor the moment. This lovely design features an open book framed by blooming roses and the phrase...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Big Books by Rogue Stitchery
Big Books
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 32. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC colors
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dashing Through the Hell No by Peacock & Fig
Dashing Through the Hell No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Dashing through the what?! Oh hell, no. If you go dashing through anything it’ll be the airport on the way to a tropical destination,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fa La La Wine by Peacock & Fig
Fa La La Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Open up that box of wine and let’s make Christmas Carols fun again. “Tis the season to be boozy…” “Later on, we’ll perspire, as we drink by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 55
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ho Ho No by Peacock & Fig
Ho Ho No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have a low tolerance for Christmas shenanigans? Or just want a “subtle” way to tell your family to not overstay their welcome? Channel your...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:40w x 51
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lump of Coal by Peacock & Fig
Lump of Coal
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Here’s the perfect gift to make for that family member that does all of their Christmas shopping at the dollar store. Tell them how much...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, "Let's Party!" by StitchyFish Designs
"Let's Party!"
a Cross Stitch Pattern by StitchyFish Designs
Brand New! "Let's Party!" by StitchyFishDesigns It's Halloween and all the little ghoulie's are out to party... but some may be more...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Lee Fisher - StitchyFish Designs
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Younger by Imaginating
Younger
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Don't we all wish we get older while looking younger?! This Mary Engelbreit design is the perfect project to gift to a friend or family...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 143
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Witch by Bobbie G Designs
Good Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
On Sale:$5.60
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'D BE CRABBY! by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
I'D BE CRABBY!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Linda Jeanne Jenkins
So just hand over the cross stitching and nobody will get pinched! This design is worked with whole stitches and backstitching.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Linda Jeanne Jenkins
$5.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aged Wine by Bobbie G Designs
Aged Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:43w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Minis: Chocolate is the Answer by PinoyStitch
Minis: Chocolate is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross Stitch Pattern: Chocolate is the Answer Designed by: ©...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 59
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Colors: 10
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ew. People. by The Stitcherhood
Ew. People.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 58
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee by MarNic Designs
Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
A whimsical offering featuring a steaming cup of coffee with a little dog alongside holding a bone, and the verse "A Woman who loves her...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC, Kreinik, Rainbow Gallery PTB
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things I Like by The Stitcherhood
Things I Like
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Things I like is a fun and snarky cross stitch pattern for lovers of books, cats, cross stitching, and maybe a few people. Dog version...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), or colors of your choice
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Sense by The Stitcherhood
Make Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
I am under no obligation to make sense to you. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 112 x 63. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ghostly by The Stitcherhood
Ghostly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A whimsical and fun pattern for Halloween - white floss on white fabric. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105 x 71. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, List to do by Kiokiz
List to do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:127w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Plan Ahead & Follow Through by The Stitcherhood
Plan Ahead & Follow Through
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A wonderfully silly pair of cross stitch designs poking fun at one’s self for not planning ahead or following through to the end of a...
Pattern Details:
Size:see description
Floss:DMC #3799
Designer:The Stitcherhood
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 57
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My hobby by Kiokiz
My hobby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:74w x 47
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Necessary Insanity by Cross-Point Designs
Necessary Insanity
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross-Point Designs
Great for the office! Featuring Felix, a real live twenty pound cat who sometimes gets himself into a little bit of trouble. A floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Carry a Wand by The Stitcherhood
Carry a Wand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Carry A Wand, a whimsical and easy cross stitch pattern for Halloween! Model stitched on 14 count "fiddler" Aida cross stitch fabric...
Pattern Details:
Size:Will measure approx. 8.75 inches high by 4 inches wide if stitched on 14 count fabric.
Floss:DMC #310 (black)
Designer:The Stitcherhood
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Repeat by The Stitcherhood
Beach Repeat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Beach, repeat... a fun, whimsical nautical cross stitch pattern for any beach bum like me... or for lovely beach house decor.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beige
Floss:DMC 931 or 840
$5.00
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