Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Sarcasm: the perfect answer to every stupid question. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 168 x 151. Model stitched on 14ct fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:168w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:13 DMC colors
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stitch & Drink Wine by Peacock & Fig
Stitch & Drink Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Stitch, drink wine, and be happy are inscribed in this inspirational cross stitch pattern — focus on the important things in life.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adventure for Introverts by Peacock & Fig
Adventure for Introverts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Just in case the past few years have been a bit **too** adventurous for your taste, the Adventure for Introverts cross stitch pattern lets...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 127
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Just Say No by Peacock & Fig
Just Say No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Have you ever had days where you want to just say no to stupidity?! This elegant and funny cross stitch pattern is perfect for making you...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen Bee by Peacock & Fig
Queen Bee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This gorgeous cross stitch pattern is the perfect inspirational quote for women! Let the world know you are the Queen Bee with glamour and...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulting All Over by Peacock & Fig
Adulting All Over
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you amaze yourself some days with the fact that you made it through the day and coped with all sorts of adult stuff and didn’t have a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Her Ladyship by Peacock & Fig
Her Ladyship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Celebrate the joy of a beautiful newborn with this exquisite baby girl cross stitch pattern! Her Ladyship includes an alphabet chart and...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Words Needed by Peacock & Fig
No Words Needed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Some days you have to try so hard to not say what you really want to say, but at least you can let your face do the talking with the No...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 120
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vodka by Peacock & Fig
Vodka
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether you enjoy drinking vodka or not, the Vodka cross stitch pattern reminds you that we all have those days. This pattern also has a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, His Lordship by Peacock & Fig
His Lordship
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Commemorate the arrival of the handsome newborn with this regal baby boy cross stitch pattern! His Lordship comes with an alphabet and full...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Count Me Baby by Peacock & Fig
Count Me Baby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Giggle yourself to sleep with the cheeky meme "Count me baby, all night long." This pretty sheep cross stitch pattern is perfect for that...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Inner Unicorn by Peacock & Fig
Inner Unicorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe in unicorns? This pretty unicorn cross stitch pattern gently reminds you to believe that in the good and magical part of...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, That's What She Said by Peacock & Fig
That's What She Said
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Show off your sassy side with this stunning project! This beautiful cross stitch pattern is reminiscent of a vintage cross stitch.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Another Great Day by Peacock & Fig
Another Great Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
When adulting just seems too hard for you, take some time out to relax with a little stitching and whip up the pretty demotivational...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulthood by Peacock & Fig
Adulthood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
In case you’re finding adulting harder than your eight-year-old self anticipated, the Adulthood cross stitch pattern should help you giggle...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 140
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Call Me Cute by Peacock & Fig
Don't Call Me Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 98
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thrills & Spills by Peacock & Fig
Thrills & Spills
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Nothing says “retro cross stitch” like a little blast from Scandinavian design past… Remember in the 70’s when printed paper towels were...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:117w x 161
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Face That Cares by Peacock & Fig
Face That Cares
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Face That Cares cross stitch pattern is set in a lovely orchard featuring pretty shades of peach and pink, juxtaposed with the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 125
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Astrology by Peacock & Fig
Astrology
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Whether astrology is your thing or not, this humorous cross stitch pattern is sure to generate laughs. With vivid blues and purples and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 100
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pooch Me Hame by Peacock & Fig
Pooch Me Hame
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The vibrant tones and metallic shimmer of the elegant Pooch Me Hame cross stitch pattern hides a little “surprise”… the text. This...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Thin Patience by Peacock & Fig
Thin Patience
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you sick of people-ing and your patience is wearing oh-so-thin? Help yourself cope with the daily grind with the demotivational Thin...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zero Fronds Given by Peacock & Fig
Zero Fronds Given
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Zero Fronds Given is a fun and sassy cross stitch pattern that helps you “check in” to remind yourself that this too shall pass. This...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bow Before Me by Peacock & Fig
Bow Before Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
You'll never have to wonder what to give for a gift ever again with this elegantly sassy birthday cross stitch pattern. Not only does Bow...
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Glam to Give a Damn by Peacock & Fig
Too Glam to Give a Damn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Let your decor be voted the "best dressed" with this stunning snarky cross stitch pattern! Make any decor luxurious with Too Glam to Give a...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Crabby by Stitchy Prose
If Crabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 80
Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dorothy's Discovery by Silver Creek Samplers
Dorothy's Discovery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers
"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen
Floss:DMC, WDW & GA
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Was It The Hare? by Val's Stuff
Was It The Hare?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
This whimsical spring design features a tall bunny surrounded by blooming flowers and fluttering butterflies. Paired with the playful...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:68w x 168
Fabric:32ct. Linen Lemon Yellow
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Singing Like Nobody's Listening by Kooler Design Studio
Singing Like Nobody's Listening
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kooler Design Studio
Our red hat lady sings as if nobody's listening! This whimsical design is sure to brighten up your day. Lovely for any counted cross-stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$10.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Dana Batho
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wedding Nights by Peacock & Fig
Wedding Nights
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you've ever wondered what to take to a bridal shower, then maybe this sassy marriage cross stitch pattern will be just what you're...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fresh Out of Fuchsias by Peacock & Fig
Fresh Out of Fuchsias
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who likes to push boundaries just a little, seeing what you can get away with? If so, the Fresh Out of Fuchsias...
Pattern Details:
Size:5" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Makes Me Human by Kitty & Me Designs
Coffee Makes Me Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Features a pretty vintage style coffee pot, yellow flowers, two little red birds and the humorous statement "Coffee Makes Me...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:19 DMC colors
$10.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Things in Life by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Things in Life is a fun and sassy cross stitch Backstitching is required but no fractional stitches makes it perfect for any fabric count....
Pattern Details:
Floss:16 DMC floss colors
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laid in the USA by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Laid in the USA is a Sassy Saying cross stitch chart designed using both full stitches as well as backstitching. It is perfect for any...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 103
Fabric:14
Floss:12 different DMC floss colors.
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny 2 by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny 2 is part of the Skinny series of cross stitch charts designed for those with a sense of humor and a love of food. Each chart does...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 103
Floss:14 DMC floss colors used. 2 skeins for the words, 1 skein all other colors.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Skinny by White Willow Stitching
Skinny
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Skinny is a great cross stitch chart for all those with a sweet tooth! If you have a great sense of humor and 14ct or higher fabric then...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 137
Floss:DMC floss required.
Designer:Jamie Larson
$10.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Goblins by Shakespeare's Peddler
Goblins
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler
Pattern by Shakespeare's Peddler featuring a spooky Halloween design with the words "The Goblins will get you if you don't watch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 89
Fabric:40ct. Linen Platinum/China White
Floss:DMC, Gentle Art, Weeks Dye Works
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner by PinoyStitch
Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Mini Cross Stitch Pattern: Retro Mom's Roadkill Diner Design Source: Andy Nortnik DMC Floss Colors: 4 Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:156w x 155
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 4
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$10.19
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beware the Cat by Artists Alley
Beware the Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Never mind the witch—beware of the cat! This whimsical cross-stitch by Artists Alley features a sleek black kitty riding high on a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida Icelandic Gray
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Lady by Artists Alley
Crazy Cat Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Let's face it, I was crazy before the cats. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 100 x 98. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:13 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jingle Juice by Artists Alley
Jingle Juice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ring the Bell by Artists Alley
Ring the Bell
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees, and colorful summer details. Beach Please is a playful stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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