Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Here For The Candy by Crafty Bluebonnet Designs
Here For The Candy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Crafty Bluebonnet Designs
A sweet and spooky Halloween design featuring a playful “Just Here for the Candy” saying, complete with a candy corn accent, spider and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:47w x 46
Fabric:28ct. Linen Pearl Gray
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ew. People. by The Stitcherhood
Ew. People.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 58
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better With Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is Better With Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your devotion to whiskers and purrs shine in every stitch! This delightful pattern spells out a heartfelt truth with playfulness—Life...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is 88...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Santa's Helpers by Sue Hillis Designs
Santa's Helpers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Features colorful Christmas cocktails beneath the phrase “Santa’s Real Helpers.” With its bright colors, charming details and lighthearted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:12 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life ... Coffee N' Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life ... Coffee N' Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WordyBirds - June by Sweet Wing Studio
WordyBirds - June
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
Flamingos prance on the beach in the 6th of the WordyBirds series! Perfectly beachy and fun for the month of June. Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Stormy Clouds
Floss:DMC
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 116
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I was a kid I wanted to be older - This is not what I expected. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95 x 91. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Women Who Behave by Sue Hillis Designs
Women Who Behave
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Women who behave - Rarely make history. Handcuffs charm included. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Sage/Summer Khaki
Floss:13 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Crabby by Stitchy Prose
If Crabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 80
Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 110 x 245. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Design is all full cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 245
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lick the Frosting by Iris Originals
Lick the Frosting
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin...and muffins are healthy - You're Welcome! Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Old Ain't for Sissies by Iris Originals
Getting Old Ain't for Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this one about says it all - getting old definitely AIN'T for Sissies! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 143 x 133....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:143w x 133
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC & Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You To The Moon by Imaginating
Love You To The Moon
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Shoot for the stars with this sweet and whimsical design! Featuring a colorful rocket ship, crescent moon, and twinkling stars, it’s...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 127
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shiver Me Timbers by Sue Hillis Designs
Shiver Me Timbers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Arrrrhh - Shiver me timbers. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 125. Model stitched on 28ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 125
Fabric:28ct. Linen Pewter
Floss:24 DMC colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate's Creed by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate's Creed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Perfect for framing, gifting, or hanging in your crafty cove, Pirate’s Creed is a hilarious nod to creative grit—whether you're sewing at...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Makes Me Human by Kitty & Me Designs
Coffee Makes Me Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Wake up and stitch with a smile! This charming design features a cozy coffee pot, colorful florals and the cheerful reminder that coffee is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Note to self...Do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 115. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Time and Friends by Iris Originals
Time and Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 79 x 102. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Takes a Village by Imaginating
It Takes a Village
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Older by Iris Originals
Getting Older
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your heart—and hoop—speak for itself with I Wanna Be a Stay at Home Dog Mom! This adorable design features a sweet dog silhouette...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Cat Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Cat Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
An Adorable CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 114 stitches wide by 56...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee by MarNic Designs
Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
A whimsical offering featuring a steaming cup of coffee with a little dog alongside holding a bone, and the verse "A Woman who loves her...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC, Kreinik, Rainbow Gallery PTB
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crabby Day by Sue Hillis Designs
Crabby Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A cheeky little design with a bright coral crab and the phrase: “It’s a crabby day without a stitch to cross.” Perfect humor for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aged Wine by Bobbie G Designs
Aged Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:43w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rolling Eyes by Iris Originals
Rolling Eyes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?" I'm sure you never do that - unfortunately I do it frequently so this is an appropriate saying...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Act My Age by Iris Originals
Act My Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Protecting Mama by Iris Originals
Protecting Mama
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Mama Ain't Happy by Iris Originals
If Mama Ain't Happy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 62
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Young at Heart by Iris Originals
Young at Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Think that about sums it up - for me at least.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Lady by Artists Alley
Crazy Cat Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Let's face it, I was crazy before the cats. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 100 x 98. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:13 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Craft Room by Shannon Christine Designs
Craft Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black
Floss:DMC
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who prefer to do things their own way, this witty design delivers plenty of sass and humor. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Dog Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm and Dogs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT DOG SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 198 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 198
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - Major Cattitude by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - Major Cattitude
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
An Adorable CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by 95 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods by Cross Stitch Wonders
Camping Without Wine is Just Sitting in the Woods
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Camping/Wine saying designed by Marcia Manning. Original artwork by Tara Reed Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
On Sale:$3.79
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