Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CAMPING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Tea) GO CAMPING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
HELP! There's a cat in my lap and I can't get up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty (in soft mocha tones) positioned atop the bold phrase—making it both a laugh-out-loud...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better With Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is Better With Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your devotion to whiskers and purrs shine in every stitch! This delightful pattern spells out a heartfelt truth with playfulness—Life...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Crabby by Stitchy Prose
If Crabby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 80
Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated
Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works
$11.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 116
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane by Kitty & Me Designs
Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Reminiscent of an old sampler, this cross stitch pattern features the humorous quote, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane. A pretty floral border...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:DMC
$8.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lick the Frosting by Iris Originals
Lick the Frosting
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin...and muffins are healthy - You're Welcome! Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jesus And Coffee by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
Jesus And Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Finally a Farmgirl Designs
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You To The Moon by Imaginating
Love You To The Moon
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Shoot for the stars with this sweet and whimsical design! Featuring a colorful rocket ship, crescent moon, and twinkling stars, it’s...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 127
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shiver Me Timbers by Sue Hillis Designs
Shiver Me Timbers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Arrrrhh - Shiver me timbers! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99w x 125h. Model was stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida Pewter
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Home Is Where The Cat Is by Kitty & Me Designs
Home Is Where The Cat Is
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
A gentle and heartwarming design celebrating the quiet magic of home. Featuring a sweet cat’s face framed by soft florals and the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:157w x 110
Fabric:28ct. Lugana White
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate's Creed by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate's Creed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Perfect for framing, gifting, or hanging in your crafty cove, Pirate’s Creed is a hilarious nod to creative grit—whether you're sewing at...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let's Go To Therapy by Imaginating
Let's Go To Therapy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A fun and colorful project that explains what exactly is the best therapy around!Let's Go To Therapy is designed to be stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Takes a Village by Imaginating
It Takes a Village
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$7.65
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I must admit, I have to remind myself of that pretty often - because, without a plan, I'm sorta stuck. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your heart—and hoop—speak for itself with I Wanna Be a Stay at Home Dog Mom! This adorable design features a sweet dog silhouette...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Getting Older by Iris Originals
Getting Older
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Boy, is this a true statement.... and my body definitely isn't pleased, though I'm thankful for every day!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Time and Friends by Iris Originals
Time and Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is true for sure!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Cat Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Cat Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
An Adorable CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 114 stitches wide by 56...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 56
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee by MarNic Designs
Woman Who Loves Her Dogs and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
A whimsical offering featuring a steaming cup of coffee with a little dog alongside holding a bone, and the verse "A Woman who loves her...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Linen White
Floss:DMC, Kreinik, Rainbow Gallery PTB
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crabby Day by Sue Hillis Designs
Crabby Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Ever wake up crabby because you’ve got nothing to stitch? This cheeky little design captures that exact feeling—with a bright coral crab...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rolling Eyes by Iris Originals
Rolling Eyes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?" I'm sure you never do that - unfortunately I do it frequently so this is an appropriate saying...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Act My Age by Iris Originals
Act My Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this saying is true - for most anyone - but especially for "old people". (I can say that - I'm an old people.) Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aged Wine by Bobbie G Designs
Aged Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:43w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse the Mess by Shannon Christine Designs
Excuse the Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 113. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:17 DMC colors
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Common Sense by Iris Originals
Common Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Protecting Mama by Iris Originals
Protecting Mama
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What purpose does your coffee serve? Needless to say, I'm a coffeeholic. I love coffee and I love stitching about coffee. This will make...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Young at Heart by Iris Originals
Young at Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Think that about sums it up - for me at least.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Laundry Prayer by Bobbie G Designs
Laundry Prayer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Add a little humor to your homemaking with Laundry Prayer! This playful design features a funny prayer for laundry day, complete with a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bed to Coffeepot by Iris Originals
Bed to Coffeepot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's most mornings - but don't forget the coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 83w x 98h. Stitched on 14ct. White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$8.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Mama Ain't Happy by Iris Originals
If Mama Ain't Happy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it's true - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - but... watch out for Grandma!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 62
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:2 DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools by Iris Originals
Tools
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah, both of those work pretty good. I keep them handy all the time. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 90. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cleaning Fairy by Iris Originals
Cleaning Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Rest in Peace Cleaning Fairy - Sadly, I just found her under my bed - She was strangled to death by dust bunnies. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Body Knows by Iris Originals
My Body Knows
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Features a cute dinosaur with the phrase - My body knows how old I am, but my mind just refuses to believe it! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Beer Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great BEER/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Craft Room by Shannon Christine Designs
Craft Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black
Floss:DMC
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Five Million Dollars by Imaginating
Five Million Dollars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Because sometimes a hug and a pep talk just aren't enough! 'Five Million Dollars' captures the ultimate daydream of emotional support......
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Rather Be Stitching by Imaginating
I'd Rather Be Stitching
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Show off the love you have for your favorite hobby with this beautiful and colorful piece! All full stitches and it covers the whole fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:19 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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