Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Pine Glen Designs
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If the sun doesn't rise for you until a steam rises from your first cuppa... this is the chart for you.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Summer Sky
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee - When Size Matters by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee - When Size Matters
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of two pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design, stitch count with fabric sizes for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 102
Fabric:14ct. aida
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee & Dinosaurs #2 by Iris Originals
Coffee & Dinosaurs #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, coffee-loving design that speaks the truth we all know. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the bold message “Coffee is vital for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 110
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Dinosaurs by Iris Originals
Coffee and Dinosaurs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, those poor dinosaurs. Thank God we have coffee - my hubby used to say I just needed a coffee IV. Great gift for that coffee lover in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:142w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Jesus by Iris Originals
Coffee and Jesus
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this is definitely a true statement for me - and hopefully for you too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:Sulky 12 Wt. Cotton Petites™
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Fairy by Iris Originals
Coffee Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Firrts by Iris Originals
Coffee Firrts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah - ALWAYS need coffee first.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm a coffee addict - so love everything coffee - just can't help myself from designing yet another 'cute' coffee saying.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in the Morning by Iris Originals
Coffee in the Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee is the Answer by Iris Originals
Coffee is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is perfect for a coffee lover (me). Great as something for yourself, or for that coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee O'Clock by Iris Originals
Coffee O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Prevents Injuries by Iris Originals
Coffee Prevents Injuries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee saying - if you love coffee, or know someone who does, this makes a great little gift or saying near your coffee pot.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 colors DMC or Anchor fllss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Protection by Iris Originals
Coffee Protection
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I drink coffee for your protection". Excellent gift for that coffee loving friend, or maybe for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Survivor by Iris Originals
Coffee Survivor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee Survivor - one who can ask for coffee in any language!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Understands by Iris Originals
Coffee Understands
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I love coffee, and it always seems to cheer me up. Great gift for a coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida Platinum
Floss:5 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #1 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #1
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect! A quick stitch with just 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 74
Fabric:0
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffeeless? by Pine Glen Designs
Coffeeless?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Do people insist upon asking you questions that you can't possibly answer or trying to get you to do things before your first cup of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Common Sense by Iris Originals
Common Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Controlling my Tongue by Iris Originals
Controlling my Tongue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, sadly this is true most of the time!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Count Me Baby by Peacock & Fig
Count Me Baby
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Giggle yourself to sleep with the cheeky meme "Count me baby, all night long." This pretty sheep cross stitch pattern is perfect for that...
Pattern Details:
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crabby Day by Sue Hillis Designs
Crabby Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Ever wake up crabby because you’ve got nothing to stitch? This cheeky little design captures that exact feeling—with a bright coral crab...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Craft Room by Shannon Christine Designs
Craft Room
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black
Floss:DMC
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Lady by Artists Alley
Crazy Cat Lady
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
The "Crazy Cat Lady" cross stitch pattern by Artists Alley is a humorous, beginner-friendly counted cross-stitch design featuring a quirky...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Cat Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Cat Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Probably everyone who has multiple animals does this - I know I surely do. And, I ask the dog where the cats are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 74
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Coven by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Cross Stitch Coven, a whimsical Wiccan Halloween cross stitch pattern. Model stitched on 14 count oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 57
Fabric:14ct. Aida oatmeal
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
Fabric:0
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dashing Through the Hell No by Peacock & Fig
Dashing Through the Hell No
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Dashing through the what?! Oh hell, no. If you go dashing through anything it’ll be the airport on the way to a tropical destination,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 60
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord, My Dog by Iris Originals
Dear Lord, My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 110 x 245. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss. Design is all full cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 245
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It Was the Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dear Santa, It was the Gnome! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by Black Cats Media. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:144w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Teacher by Iris Originals
Dear Teacher
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is dedicated to my youngest son - and very appropriate. Great for anyone who has this talkative child :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Death Before Decaf by Rogue Stitchery
Death Before Decaf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the coffee lover! This design was stitched using bright DMC colors and is framed in an 8" x 8" shadow box frame. Any frame...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 76
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Deck the Halls by Peacock & Fig
Deck the Halls
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 81
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$5.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Do Not Disturb by Iris Originals
Do Not Disturb
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, proceed with caution - especially on some days. This makes a great gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom by Cross Stitch Wonders
Dog - I Wanna Be A Stay At Home Dog Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your heart—and hoop—speak for itself with I Wanna Be a Stay at Home Dog Mom! This adorable design features a sweet dog silhouette...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dog in Charge by Imaginating
Dog in Charge
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Man's best friend is always in charge and this adorable design is the perfect way to display their badge of honor! Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Doing Nothing by Iris Originals
Doing Nothing
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I used to be the Energizer Bunny, but since I've gotten older I'm learning to "do nothing"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:10 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Call Me Cute by Peacock & Fig
Don't Call Me Cute
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’re feeling feisty, the “Don’t Call Me Cute” cross stitch pattern might be right up your alley. With vibrant purples, corals, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 98
Fabric:0
Floss:DMC
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Eat The Seeds by Homespun Elegance Ltd
Don't Eat The Seeds
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Homespun Elegance Ltd
-Stitched on 30ct Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works -Stitch count 88w x 58h (5.87" x 3.87") We do not carry the 30ct Parchment Linen...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:30ct. Linen Lambswool
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Give A Sip by Cross Stitch Wonders
Don't Give A Sip
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive Artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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