Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Good Intentions by Kathy Barrick
Good Intentions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kathy Barrick
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 110
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Came With The House by Hands on Design
It Came With The House
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Hands on Design
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 91
Fabric:32ct. belfast antique white
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Talk Dirt To Me by Val's Stuff
Talk Dirt To Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Perfect for garden lovers with a sense of humor, this cheerful design features a friendly gardener surrounded by blooming flowers,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 122
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss, Weeks Dye Works
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Solicitors by Artists Alley
No Solicitors
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
No Solicitors Violators will be sacrificed to the Old Gods Not the new
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:150w x 151
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love You Warts'n All by Val's Stuff
Love You Warts'n All
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Val's Stuff
Cross stitch pattern from Val's Stuff featuring a frog with the Valentine's Day sentiment "love you warts n' all." Stitched on 36 count...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:61w x 37
Fabric:36ct. Linen Antique White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It's Cupcake O'Clock by Sue Hillis Designs
It's Cupcake O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Cupcake happy hour.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Harm...But by Artists Alley
No Harm...But
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Roses are red, candles are lit, do no harm but take no shit. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 137 x 166. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:137w x 166
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:22 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bless your Little Heart by Iris Originals
Bless your Little Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Another cute coffee saying, and yes, I am a coffee addict!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:15 colors Anchor or DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools of the Trade by Sue Hillis Designs
Tools of the Trade
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The tools every pirate needs. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an 8 inch by 10 inch frame. Three coin...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Imagine a world where FABRIC is FREE and CROSS STITCH makes you THIN! An awesome saying that surely makes one smile. :-) Original...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:228w x 150
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD Christmas by Artists Alley
OCD Christmas
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"OCD Christmas" by Artists Alley is a detailed holiday-themed cross-stitch pattern featuring vibrant, meticulously ordered scenes typical...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 40
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Super Mom by Iris Originals
Super Mom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Moms are truly super - great chart to finish for "your" Mom - or for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:16 DMC or Anchor
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Positive Sign by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A Positive Sign, a humorous, easy and fun cross stitch design! Model stitched on 14 count fiddler oatmeal Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC #3799
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sour Puss by Artists Alley
Sour Puss
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, If Unbearable by Stitchy Prose
If Unbearable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose
A perfect stitch for somebody that needs a little more than the average Snickers Bar. "If unbearable, please go to the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 288
Fabric:32ct. Linen Silvery Moon
Floss:Classic Colorworks, DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
"Kitty Approved" by Artists Alley is a counted cross-stitch pattern featuring a charming, detailed feline design. 14-count Aida fabric...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:165w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Attitude... by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Attitude...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This spirited pattern set features three playful sayings—“She’s got that girl boss hustle,” “Get stuff done,” and “Alexa, skip to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 95
Floss:DMC Floss
Designer:Sue Hillis
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Stitcher's Mantra by Dear Sukie
A Stitcher's Mantra
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Dear Sukie
A Stitcher's Mantra! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 145 x 107. Stitched with DMC floss on 18ct. White Aida. Black and White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 107
Fabric:18ct. Aida White
Floss:5 Colours of DMC Thread
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Possible by Amy Bruecken Designs
Possible
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Amy Bruecken Designs
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Problem/Duct Tape by X's & Oh's
Your Problem/Duct Tape
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I'm already envisioning the duct tape over your mouth..." "I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce..." Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 89
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Water Cress
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sleep by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 149
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let It Snow (Somewhere Else) by X's & Oh's
Let It Snow (Somewhere Else)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffeeless? by Pine Glen Designs
Coffeeless?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
Do people insist upon asking you questions that you can't possibly answer or trying to get you to do things before your first cup of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Witch is In by Artists Alley
The Witch is In
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rise & Whine by X's & Oh's
Rise & Whine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cabin Rules by Pickle Barrel Designs
Cabin Rules
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pickle Barrel Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count 86w x 116h. A cute saying for a cozy cabin that says: Cabin Rules: Match a sunrise, Go...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 116
Floss:DMC Floss and Weeks Dye Works
Designer:Pickle Barrel Designs
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Worry? by X's & Oh's
Why Worry?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!" Model stitched on 28 ct Antique white Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count 93x60.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
BATHROOM CONCIERGE KITTY CAT This adorable design by Marcia Manning is 96 stitches wide by 96 stitches high. Four page color leaflet. A...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 96
Fabric:Aida
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Kitty Approved 2 by Artists Alley
Kitty Approved 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
a counted cross-stitch design featuring a cat-themed subject, available as a physical pattern leaflet. It is characterized as a detailed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:225w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Make Me Shine by X's & Oh's
Make Me Shine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 161
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Ivory
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, More Alcohol by Peacock & Fig
More Alcohol
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This calls for more alcohol. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 70. Model stitched on 32ct Light Mint Splash Lugana by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 70
Fabric:32ct. Lugana
Floss:6 DMC colors
$9.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One to Even by Peacock & Fig
One to Even
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
I’m sure you’ve had those moments where something so insanely stupid comes up and you’re like “I can’t even… I just literally cannot...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$9.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WordyBirds - June by Sweet Wing Studio
WordyBirds - June
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
Flamingos prance on the beach in the 6th of the WordyBirds series! Perfectly beachy and fun for the month of June. Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Stormy Clouds
Floss:DMC
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Monkeys by Imaginating
Not My Monkeys
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
These cute monkeys take you under the Big Top to say this funny and familiar phrase!Not My Monkeys is designed to be stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 176
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cluttered Kitchen by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen is a happy kitchen and this one is delirious! When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Strong Women by Sue Hillis Designs
Strong Women
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Women are like Teabags - We never know how strong we are until we are in hot water. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loads Of Fun (Laundry Company2) by Hands on Design
Loads Of Fun (Laundry Company2)
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Hands on Design
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Raven - It's Been Foretold by Mary Gaines Designs
Raven - It's Been Foretold
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Mary Gaines Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 128 x 137. Model stitched on 32ct Antique White Jobelan using DMC, Caron & Gentle Art floss,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 137
Fabric:32ct. Jobelan Antique White
Floss:DMC, Caron, Gentle Art, Kreinik & Rainbow
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Is Proof by Stitchnmomma
Chocolate Is Proof
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A quirky, easy-to-stitch piece for any chocolate lover. Or why not make it as a gift for the chocolate lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Size:5.71" x 5.43"
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional Me by Imaginating
DysFUNctional Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a little sass to your stitching with this stylishly snarky pattern! Featuring a sophisticated lady in a sharp suit, chic hat, and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 114
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:23 DMC floss colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Foul Language by Rebel Stitcher Designs
Foul Language
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs
This witty chicken design adds a fun dose of humor to farmhouse stitching. With playful wording and a charming little hen, it’s a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:77w x 75
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love a Great Ass by White Willow Stitching
Love a Great Ass
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Perfect for all Donkey lovers or just those who have a jackass in the family! This sassy and humorous monochrome cross stitch chart is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:126w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 Skeins DMC floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, MetalFoot's Missives I by Stitchnmomma
MetalFoot's Missives I
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A fun, easy stitched "subversive" style quote in a series created by my son "MetalFoot". This design uses just 4 colors and all full...
Pattern Details:
Size:varies with fabric used
Floss:4 DMC Cotton Colors
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love Peckers by White Willow Stitching
Love Peckers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
This humorous Woodpecker monochrome cross stitch chart is designed using only full stitches making it perfect for any fabric count. 16...
Pattern Details:
Floss:3 Skeins DMC floss
Designer:Jamie Larson
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Awesome Coffee by Stitchnmomma
Awesome Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A perfect, sunny piece for the coffee lover in your life. The pattern uses just 1 color and all full stitches on a bright fabric to...
Pattern Details:
Size:7.21" x 7.50"
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Winter Driving Tips by Imaginating
Winter Driving Tips
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 138
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak by MarNic Designs
Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 129
$8.99
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