Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sexy Chick by Peacock & Fig
Sexy Chick
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Inspired by a vintage illustration, this sweet little retro cross stitch pattern is perfect for any home decor or office.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:112w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much Nope by Peacock & Fig
So Much Nope
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This elegant vintage cross stitch pattern is inspired by antique French illustrations, but there’s nothing antique about the quote!
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Samplers Since 1675 by Peacock & Fig
Samplers Since 1675
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Putting a cheeky twist on the beautiful and sometimes “strained” history of samplers, the Samplers Since 1675 cross stitch pattern is sure...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, She Betta Don't by Peacock & Fig
She Betta Don't
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you’ve ever caught yourself slaving away on some completely inane task like sweeping up after the kids for what feels like the fifteenth...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mermaid Struggles by Peacock & Fig
Mermaid Struggles
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The fourth of the Mermaid Tales cross stitch pattern set, this sassy cross stitch pattern inspires you to take a beach holiday. Beautiful...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mirror Mirror by Peacock & Fig
Mirror Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mirror Mirror cross stitch pattern, the third of the Mermaid Tales cross stitch pattern set, is a cheeky look at a mermaid’s beauty...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Believe I Can Fly by Peacock & Fig
I Believe I Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Do you believe you can fly? This funny motivational quote uses a vintage illustration as inspiration for this tongue-in-cheek cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seashells & Snowflakes by Stoney Creek
Seashells & Snowflakes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stoney Creek
Stitch count 56w x 84h, approximately 4" x 6" on 14ct. Model stitched on 28ct touch of ecru hand-dyed Stoney Creek fabric over 2 threads....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 84
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$8.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane by Kitty & Me Designs
Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Reminiscent of an old sampler, this cross stitch pattern features the humorous quote, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane. A pretty floral border...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream
Floss:DMC
$8.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Nothing Done by Iris Originals
Nothing Done
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, the older I get, the less I get done in a day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:13 colors Anchor or DMC
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sheet-Faced by Artists Alley
Sheet-Faced
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
A cheeky, modern design with a bold sense of humor. Featuring an adorably unapologetic character and the phrase “Let’s get sheet-faced,”...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Glitter Over Gloom by Stitchnmomma
Glitter Over Gloom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Never let the hard times dim your sparkle. Piece was stitched on 32 ct. Crystal Pickle by Picture This Plus. Feel free to use any floss...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 72
Fabric:Aida
Floss:1 Kreinik Color
$8.40
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Santa's Helpers by Sue Hillis Designs
Santa's Helpers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Features colorful Christmas cocktails beneath the phrase “Santa’s Real Helpers.” With its bright colors, charming details, and lighthearted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 116
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Women Who Behave by Sue Hillis Designs
Women Who Behave
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Women who behave - Rarely make history. Handcuffs charm included. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Sage/Summer Khaki
Floss:13 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate's Creed by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate's Creed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Perfect for framing, gifting, or hanging in your crafty cove, Pirate’s Creed is a hilarious nod to creative grit—whether you're sewing at...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine a Bit by Sue Hillis Designs
Wine a Bit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Bold stitched in rich wine tones, the cheeky message “Wine a bit… you’ll feel better" is perfect for wine lovers with a sense of humor!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:53w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Gno-Me... by Sue Hillis Designs
To Gno-Me...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
To gno-me is to love me. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Heart button...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mystic Grey
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillage & Plunder by Sue Hillis Designs
Pillage & Plunder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Why work - when you can pillage and plunder. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Margarita Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Margarita Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 117
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bloody Mary Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bloody Mary Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 117
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Good Friend by Sue Hillis Designs
A Good Friend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A good friend is like a bra - Close to your heart and very supportive. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:46w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Far So Good by Imaginating
So Far So Good
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Take your R&R to a whole new level with this adorable and colorful design. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 130 x 152. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 152
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:28 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ms. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Ms. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 115
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Drink Coffee by Sweet Wing Studio
To Drink Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
For the true coffee lovers out there—this fun and cheeky design says it all! Bold lettering and cozy colors make this a perfect project to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 90
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Mushroom
Floss:WDW, DMC and CCW
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulting Is Hard by Rogue Stitchery
Adulting Is Hard
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee! A favorite drink of so many of us. This pattern calls out to the coffee lover. Designed with a whimsical saying, it uses...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Believe by Sue Hillis Designs
Believe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
What Santa brings if you don't Believe. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional by Sue Hillis Designs
DysFUNctional
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Our Family puts the Fun in Dysfunctional. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder by Rogue Stitchery
OCD - Obsessive Coffee Disorder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the Coffee Obsessive! This pattern uses various mauves, greens and gray-ish cocoas. The horizontal border along the top and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 91
Fabric:14ct. aida white
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loves Me by Sue Hillis Designs
Loves Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
...Loves me, Loves me not...'tis no matter, I'm all he's got. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Movie Quotes by Kiokiz
Movie Quotes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 35
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate, Ye've plundered me heart. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:47w x 74
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Summer Khaki
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... BEER! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... BEER!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... BEER! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Men Fish by Sue Hillis Designs
Why Men Fish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Why do men fish? Because they’re utterly enchanted by a particular mermaid’s allure! In this fun-sized design, a flirtatious mermaid holds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen of Quite a Lot by The Scarlett House
Queen of Quite a Lot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Scarlett House
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Red Hat by Sue Hillis Designs
Red Hat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
I shall wear purple with a red hat. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Purple...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 68
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... WINE! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee - When Size Matters by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee - When Size Matters
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of two pages – a full color cover sheet with a photo of the finished design, stitch count with fabric sizes for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 102
Fabric:14ct. aida
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Invisible Crown by Kiokiz
Invisible Crown
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer... by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer - helping men to dance since 1862. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Assorted Sorts by Ink Circles
Assorted Sorts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Ink Circles
These colorful licorice allsorts candies are either loved or hated, reminding us that everyone and everything has their niche and that is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 57
Fabric:30ct. Linen
Floss:Classic Colorworks Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hap-pea by Kiokiz
Hap-pea
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 38 stitches
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old by Iris Originals
I'm Not Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Numbers are included to change the ages - so it could apply to most anyone. I personally like the one on the cover.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 111
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any HUNTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Eat The Seeds by Homespun Elegance Ltd
Don't Eat The Seeds
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Homespun Elegance Ltd
-Stitched on 30ct Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works -Stitch count 88w x 58h (5.87" x 3.87") We do not carry the 30ct Parchment Linen...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:30ct. Linen Lambswool
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO I. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO II. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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