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Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns
Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Unstoppable
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yup, sometimes that's the most difficult part - just getting startd.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
90w x 81
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Distracted
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
102w x 88
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Shit Happens
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 84 x 46. Model stitched on 14ct Lambswool Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
84w x 46
Fabric:
14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:
4 DMC colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Crazy Dog Person
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
105w x 71
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Some Days
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
103w x 130
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
59w x 72
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Matilda Mallstomper
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Alma Lynne Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 180 x 248. Model stitched on 14ct Antique White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
180w x 248
Fabric:
14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:
39 DMC colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I'm Vintage
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
85w x 61
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
When I Find It
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Happens to me all the time.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
108w x 85
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
5 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
May Your Frogs be Few
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
85w x 87
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 DMC colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Independent Woman & Dog
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
86w x 77
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC Floss
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
The Earlier it gets Late
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
91w x 78
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Waay Too Young
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
138w x 113
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I'm Not Stressed
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
49w x 73
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 136
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... CROCHET and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CROCHETING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... CROCHET and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 900
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
How Do I?
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
102w x 100
Fabric:
14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:
4 DMC floss colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... GO FISHING and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any FISHING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Beer (or Coffee, Tea, Wine, Cocktails) GO FISHING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 90
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Normal Person
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
90w x 63
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sissies
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
93w x 95
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Light Up!
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by White Willow Stitching
Light Up! is designed by StitchBitch. Created for those with a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. This chart does use both full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
57w x 83
Fabric:
14ct. Aida Black
Floss:
6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Coffee First
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
You go ahead and seize the day - I need coffee first!! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95 x 77. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
95w x 77
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
8 DMC colors
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Knew I'd Get Old
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yeah, it feels like it just sorta happened one day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
93w x 100
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Life Happns
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Always - coffee always helps!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
85w x 94
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
13 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Don't Ask
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
118w x 97
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
12 colors of Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... GARDEN and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GARDENING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GARDEN and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 90
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... GO CAMPING and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any CAMPING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails (or Coffee, Beer, Wine, Tea) GO CAMPING and Take Naps! Included...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 90
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Godzilla
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
102w x 97
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A MUGnificent Stitch - ANOTHER WINE DRINKER WITH A CAMPING PROBLEM
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great WINE / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
154w x 156
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
No Frost Please
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by X's & Oh's
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Coffee Fairy
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 84
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Patience and Coffee
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
83w x 92
Fabric:
14ct. Aida
Floss:
6 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... GAMBLE and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any GAMBLING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GAMBLE and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 90
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
I Just Want To Drink .... SAVE ANIMALS and Take Naps
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any ANIMAL / RESCUE / SHELTER enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Wine (or Coffee, Beer, Tea, Cocktails) SAVE ANIMALS and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
100w x 90
Floss:
DMC
Designer:
Marcia Manning
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
154w x 156
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
154w x 156
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
154w x 156
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Too Hard to Get Back up
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Iris Originals
Don't know about you - but... I'm there and I'm telling you - it's really difficult to get back up.
Pattern Details:
Fabric:
14ct. Aida white
Floss:
4 colors Anchor or DMC
Designer:
Iris Smale
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I BE HAPPY IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I BORN TO ARGUE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design including...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I CAUTION I HAVE NO FILTER guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I EYE ROLLING IS MY CARDIO guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I HOLD ON LET ME OVER THINK THIS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I I RUN A TIGHT SHIPWRECK guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME. NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES I SORRY! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS I BARELY TAKE SUGGESTIONS guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
109w x 160
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II BUTT FIRST COFFEE guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the entire design...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
140w x 99
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE COOKIES guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching projects. Stitch the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
140w x 99
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.
a
Cross Stitch Pattern
by Cross Stitch Wonders
SASSY THREADS SERIES II I DON'T LIKE MORNING PEOPLE. OR PEOPLE. OR MORNINGS. guarantees a dash of wit and humor in your stitching...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:
140w x 99
Fabric:
14ct. Aida White
Floss:
DMC
$7.00
Add Pattern to Cart
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