Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow-Woman's Work by Imaginating
Snow-Woman's Work
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A woman knows this is so true!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:158w x 92
Fabric:28ct. Linen Icelandic Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Matilda Mallstomper by Alma Lynne Designs
Matilda Mallstomper
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alma Lynne Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 180 x 248. Model stitched on 14ct Antique White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:180w x 248
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
Floss:39 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Snow Place Like Home - 3 by Country Cottage Needleworks
Snow Place Like Home - 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Country Cottage Needleworks
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:59w x 72
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, May Your Frogs be Few by Iris Originals
May Your Frogs be Few
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
May your stitch count be true and your frogs be few. Cross stitching friends will understand this for sure. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Find It by Iris Originals
When I Find It
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I find it - I don't need it - When I need it - I can't find it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 85. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Waay Too Young by Iris Originals
Waay Too Young
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Believe me - I am too young to be this old! But, thankfully, I'm still above the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:138w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Stressed by Iris Originals
I'm Not Stressed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I'm not stressed" says the cat as he looks exactly the opposite. This would make a great gift for a friend, or hang it where you can see...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Earlier it gets Late by Iris Originals
The Earlier it gets Late
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
kind of a tongue twister... but sure is right. I juat cannot stay up late like I used to.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Independent Woman & Dog by Iris Originals
Independent Woman & Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
A hilarious, pet-lover approved design that celebrates the not-so-glamorous side of independence. Featuring playful pups and the relatable...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dinner Time - Bed Time by Iris Originals
Dinner Time - Bed Time
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
It's that way at my house.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 color Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, How Do I? by White Willow Stitching
How Do I?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
How Do I? is designed to be stitched using both full stitches and backstitching on any fabric count.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida Rain (Country French)
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Normal Person by Iris Originals
Normal Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, what is normal these days - who knows. But, it sure wears me out
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 63
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Light Up! by White Willow Stitching
Light Up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Light Up! is designed by StitchBitch. Created for those with a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. This chart does use both full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee First by Iris Originals
Coffee First
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
You go ahead and seize the day - I need coffee first!! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95 x 77. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Knew I'd Get Old by Iris Originals
Knew I'd Get Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, it feels like it just sorta happened one day.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Happns by Iris Originals
Life Happns
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Always - coffee always helps!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:13 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Don't Ask by Iris Originals
Don't Ask
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
That would be me most mornings! Great gift for your coffeeholic friend or for your own 'coffee station'.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors of Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Frost Please by X's & Oh's
No Frost Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Fairy by Iris Originals
Coffee Fairy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, I want a coffee fairy - a real one that brings my coffee!!! Oh well, if I can't have the real one I can sure cross stitch one to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience and Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience and Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a serious coffee drinker - and this chart is just perfect for someone like me. Cute gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee is the Answer by Iris Originals
Coffee is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is perfect for a coffee lover (me). Great as something for yourself, or for that coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Death Before Decaf by Rogue Stitchery
Death Before Decaf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the coffee lover! This design was stitched using bright DMC colors and is framed in an 8" x 8" shadow box frame. Any frame...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 76
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 116
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Gno-Me... by Sue Hillis Designs
To Gno-Me...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
To gno-me is to love me. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Heart button...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mystic Grey
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Margarita Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Margarita Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable MARGARITA GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 117
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bloody Mary Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bloody Mary Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This adorable BLOODY MARY GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 117
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ms. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Ms. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MS. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:145w x 115
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mr. Beer Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Mr. Beer Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
MR. BEER GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed artwork. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:128w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Men Fish by Sue Hillis Designs
Why Men Fish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Why do men fish? Because they’re utterly enchanted by a particular mermaid’s allure! In this fun-sized design, a flirtatious mermaid holds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome - Roses are Red ... BEER! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome - Roses are Red ... BEER!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Designed from exclusive licensed artwork by Art Matters Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 128. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:15 DMC colors
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome Roses Are Red ... WINE!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A wonderful Valentine GNOME Roses Are Red ... WINE! counted cross stitch design. Marcia Manning designed this from exclusive licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps by Cross Stitch Wonders
I Just Want To Drink .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A great saying for any HUNTING enthusiast! I Just Want To Drink Cocktails / Coffee / Beer / Wine / Tea .... GO HUNTING and Take Naps!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 90
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO I
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO I. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO II
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO II. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO III by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - GARDEN TRIO III
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - GARDEN TRIO III. Three wonderful Garden / Plant themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillow Chat - PLANTS TRIO by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat - PLANTS TRIO
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Pillow Chat Series - PLANTS TRIO. 3 wonderful Plants themed designs. Full - coverall size is 54 stitches by 54 stitches. Suggestion is if...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:54w x 54
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Christmas with my GNOMIES by Cross Stitch Wonders
Christmas with my GNOMIES
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Very Cute! Christmas with my GNOMIES in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from original artwork by BlackCatsMedia. Full...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 396
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub by Cross Stitch Wonders
Teardrop Ornament - Life Is Better In A Hot Tub
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
From our Teardrop Ornament Series is LIFE IS BETTER IN A HOT TUB! Design is 39 stitches wide by 55 stitches high and designed by Marcia...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:39w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Perforated Paper White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out of my mouth! That's never a good thing! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lick the Frosting by Iris Originals
Lick the Frosting
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin...and muffins are healthy - You're Welcome! Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right - the rest are to keep me out of jail - help me form sentences and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Young at Heart by Iris Originals
Young at Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Think that about sums it up - for me at least.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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