Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns | Everything Cross Stitch

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Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.

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Coffee Makes Me Human

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

This cross stitch pattern features a pretty vintage style coffee pot and the humorous statement Coffee Makes Me Human! Yellow flowers and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well yeah - that's my usual day.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:92w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 Anchor or DMC colors

$7.00

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Your Attitude...

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs

This spirited pattern set features three playful sayings—“She’s got that girl boss hustle,” “Get stuff done,” and “Alexa, skip to...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:63w x 95

Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

Reminiscent of an old sampler, this cross stitch pattern features the humorous quote, Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane. A pretty floral border...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:95w x 118

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:3 DMC colors

Multiple styles available

$7.00

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Lick the Frosting

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that's what they tell me anyway - that muffins are healthy! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93w x 79h. Stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:93w x 79

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well yeah - actually I've tried it several times - it ALWAYS comes back. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90w x 86h. Stitched...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:90w x 86

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?" I'm sure you never do that - unfortunately I do it frequently so this is an appropriate saying...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:80w x 112

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss

$6.00

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Crazy Cat Lady

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley

The "Crazy Cat Lady" cross stitch pattern by Artists Alley is a humorous, beginner-friendly counted cross-stitch design featuring a quirky...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:100w x 98

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery

I dont' have insomnia - I have a really good book and no respect for tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 32 x 105....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:32w x 105

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

Your Opinion" is for the unapologetically bold! Featuring a confident woman with one hand on her hip and the other dismissively raised,...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:97w x 125

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:3 DMC floss colors

Multiple styles available

$9.00

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Be Productive

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yes, I wake up with good intentions (and that's probably most of us) - but it goes downhill a bit once I'm up and about. Coffee IS...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:105w x 110

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Pretty much says it all -

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:93w x 94

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Coffee & Dinosaurs #2

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

A hilarious, coffee-loving design that speaks the truth we all know. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the bold message “Coffee is vital for...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 110

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Yup, that's about it for today.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:97w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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I'm Awake

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that pretty much says me first thing in the morning.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:117w x 91

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

$7.00

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Smile S'more

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A Great S'MORE / CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Licensed Artwork by Sanquentti...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:79w x 100

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs

Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 191w x 91h. Stitched on 40ct. White Mustard Linen by XJuDesign using Cottage Garden Threads. ...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:191w x 91

Fabric:40ct. Linen Antique White

Floss:Cottage Garden Threads

$15.00

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It Happened So Fast

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well yeah, it did feel like it was fast, and every week now just flies by.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:76w x 83

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$7.50

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Quotables Coffee Life is Too Short

a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch

Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:94w x 107

Fabric:0

Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 3

Multiple styles available

$8.50

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Aging

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

A funny cross stitch pattern to remind us all to laugh at ourselves occasionally and remember that while aging isn’t always fun… it sure...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:118w x 70

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:DMC #310... or your favorite!

$6.00

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Sometimes

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, I suppose that's really the only time I don't at least think about drinking coffee. As a matter of fact, I think I need a cup as...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:111w x 135

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC

$7.50

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Sparkly Stuff

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

"I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly" I love sparkly stuff, so this was a no brainer for me. ...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:76w x 88

Fabric:14ct. Aida Opalescent on White

Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor and one color Nordic Gold

$6.00

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Sissies

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:93w x 95

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Oh yeah - ALWAYS need coffee first.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:95w x 77

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

$7.00

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My Thoughts

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

No - not necessarily a good thing. I have to work at it.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 106

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Not My Monkeys

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

These cute monkeys take you under the Big Top to say this funny and familiar phrase!Not My Monkeys is designed to be stitched on 14ct White...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:132w x 176

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:14 DMC floss colors

$9.00

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Retired

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

What do you call a person who is happy on Monday - Retired. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 91. Model stitched on 14ct...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 91

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose

A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 80

Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated

Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works

$11.00

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Old People

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:70w x 87

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:86w x 80

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

A fun, age-positive design with a playful sense of humor. Featuring a cute dinosaur and the relatable phrase “My body knows how old I am,...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:79w x 90

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:116w x 91

Fabric:14ct. Aida Chalk Board Black

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

About right - have YOU ever looked at someone and thought that? :-)

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:6w x 5

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:7 skeins DMC or Anchor

$6.30

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Beach Please Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees, and colorful summer details. Beach Please is a playful stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:70w x 70

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

$10.00

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It's The Cat's House We Just Pay The Mortgage

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 116 stitches wide by 138 stitches...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:116w x 138

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

Stabby, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 110

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)

$4.00

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The Moon was Full

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

The Moon Was Full, a pretty, fun and whimsical cross stitch pattern, perfect for Wiccans or anyone with a sense of humor.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:DMC #310 (black) and #648 (gray)

$6.00

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Old Age

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

This applies both literally and figuratively. It IS hard to get back up, whether you're actually on the floor, or... it feels like you...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:152w x 126

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Eat Cake

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap - Stay safe Eat cake.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:62w x 91

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

$7.00

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Dorothy's Discovery

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Silver Creek Samplers

"The power is there whenever you choose, it's found in the heart not in your shoes." Order stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Angel Hair...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:149w x 71

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. ...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:94w x 89

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Don't Panic

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

Anti-bully, pro community, individual empowerment cross stitch pattern.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:112w x 109

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:DMC #824 (navy blue) and #3325 (light blue)

$6.00

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Don't Interrupt

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

This leaflet includes the chart and instructions. The floss, fabric and any other supplies required to complete the project are...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:160w x 140

Fabric:18ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood

A fun cross stitch design with a snarky comment and colorful blocks, perfect decor for teens, or parents of teens! Stitch Count: 63 High...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:112w x 63

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:DMC #3799 (dark gray), #826 (blue) and #912 (green)

$5.00

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Of Course I'm Cute

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

A sassy, confidence-boosting design with a wink of humor. Featuring a cute character and the playful phrase “Of course I’m cute… haven’t...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:91w x 65

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

$7.00

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Schools Out - Teacher Off Duty

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 68

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that's pretty much me these days - how about you??

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:88w x 93

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC

$6.50

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Patience Tested

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Well, that would be me for sure!

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:107w x 92

Fabric:14ct. Aida white

Floss:6 color Anchor or DMC

$7.00

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Get Up and Go

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Don't think I'm the only one who feels that way - but, usually we get up and go anyway! Hope this makes your day a bit brighter.

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:88w x 77

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC

$7.00

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