Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woodworking by Sue Hillis Designs
Woodworking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design. Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill and clamps, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 72
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Hard to Get Back up by Iris Originals
Too Hard to Get Back up
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Growing older has never been so relatable! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who can laugh at the little aches and pains that come...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine a Bit by Sue Hillis Designs
Wine a Bit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Bold stitched in rich wine tones, the cheeky message “Wine a bit… you’ll feel better" is perfect for wine lovers with a sense of humor!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:53w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Home is Where the Cat Is by Kitty & Me Designs
Home is Where the Cat Is
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
A gentle and heartwarming design celebrating the quiet magic of home. Featuring a sweet cat’s face framed by soft florals and the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:157w x 110
Fabric:28ct. Lugana White
Floss:28 DMC colors
$12.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Before My Morning Coffee by Artecy Cross Stitch
Before My Morning Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:58 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Fitness Sore Today by PinoyStitch
Quotables Fitness Sore Today
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 72
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 8
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Add a little humor to your bathroom with this adorable design featuring a curious cat and a message every cat owner knows is all too true....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:17 DMC colors
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rough Week by Iris Originals
Rough Week
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"It's been a rough week - But on a positive side I didn't need any bail money and I didn't have to hide any bodies." Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beware the Cat by Artists Alley
Beware the Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Features a sleek black kitty riding high on a broomstick, tail in the air and attitude to spare. Stitched alongside playful lettering, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bookstore by Rogue Stitchery
Bookstore
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right - the rest are to keep me out of jail - help me form sentences and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old and Wise by Iris Originals
Old and Wise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 89 x 89....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out of my mouth! That's never a good thing! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shiver Me Timbers by Sue Hillis Designs
Shiver Me Timbers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Arrrrhh - Shiver me timbers. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 125. Model stitched on 28ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 125
Fabric:28ct. Linen Pewter
Floss:24 DMC colors
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Let's Go To Therapy by Imaginating
Let's Go To Therapy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
A fun and colorful project that explains what exactly is the best therapy around!Let's Go To Therapy is designed to be stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:131w x 116
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse the Mess by Shannon Christine Designs
Excuse the Mess
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Shannon Christine Designs
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 92 x 113. Model stitched on 14ct fabric using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 113
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:17 DMC colors
$14.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Common Sense by Iris Originals
Common Sense
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Just a little cute saying - unfortunately that flower truly doesn't grow in everyone's garden.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC or Anchor floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Cat Saying - I Run on Coffee, Sarcasm And Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A GREAT CAT SAYING in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 198 stitches wide by 192 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:192w x 198
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone whose brain never seems to hit the pause button, this witty design perfectly captures the art of overthinking. Counted cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Badass Granddaughter by Iris Originals
Badass Granddaughter
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is dedicated to my two wonderful granddaughters. Not little girls anymore but always wonderful girls. If you have a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:177w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ruin Your Day by Imaginating
Ruin Your Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This moody little stitch features a frazzled heroine, her concerned pup and the ultimate sarcastic mantra for those days when you're just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 145
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Safe Place by Iris Originals
Safe Place
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I hate when I put something in a "Safe Place" Then it's pretty much lost forever! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 93....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Insomnia by Rogue Stitchery
No Insomnia
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
I dont' have insomnia - I have a really good book and no respect for tomorrow. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 32 x 105....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:32w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:21 DMC colors
$4.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Jingle Juice by Artists Alley
Jingle Juice
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:104w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Beautiful Beige
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Murdery by The Stitcherhood
Murdery
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
Murdery, a humorous and fun cross stitch design for cross stitch lovers. Model stitched on 14 count white Aida cross stitch fabric and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:122w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC dark gray (#3799) and red (#321)
$4.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Happiness on the Couch by Romy's Creations
Happiness on the Couch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
A cozy, feel-good design for anyone who knows true happiness involves comfort and a little downtime. This playful pattern features an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Shuts A Door by Imaginating
Shuts A Door
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design oozes attitude and charm, combining classic black and white aesthetics with cheeky wit. Once stitched, hang it on your wall as...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida Black
Floss:1 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Opinion by Imaginating
Your Opinion
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Your Opinion" is for the unapologetically bold! Featuring a confident woman with one hand on her hip and the other dismissively raised,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 125
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Black Hat Society by Sue Hillis Designs
Black Hat Society
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Proud member of the Black Hat Society. Candy corn button included.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:69w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lilac
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Excuse Me by Iris Originals
Excuse Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have squirrels - do you have squirrels? They are adorably annoying little creatures and love bird seed. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ex-People Person by Imaginating
Ex-People Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This cheeky pattern features the phrase “I used to be a people person but people ruined it for me”, with a no-nonsense lady throwing up the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hot Date by Iris Originals
Hot Date
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
What's your idea of a hot date? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 81 x 90. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Professional Help by Iris Originals
Professional Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We probably all need professional help at some point - but I could use these on a daily basis :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loves Me by Sue Hillis Designs
Loves Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
...Loves me, Loves me not...'tis no matter, I'm all he's got. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lids on Jars by Iris Originals
Lids on Jars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this seems to be an everyday occasion in my life - anytime I'm faced with a jar, bottle or whatever needs to be opened. Yeah, I know...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sarcasm by Rogue Stitchery
Sarcasm
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern is a front-and-back, single-page (double-sided) pattern. The cover page is in full color and contains a photo of the stitched...
Pattern Details:
Size:8-1/8w X 4-1/8h in
$3.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Vintage by Iris Originals
I'm Vintage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's me - old AND vintage!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 61
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:12 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly by MarNic Designs
Never Drive Faster Than Your Broom Can Fly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:48w x 34
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Teacher by Iris Originals
Dear Teacher
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is dedicated to my youngest son - and very appropriate. Great for anyone who has this talkative child :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 skeins DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Godzilla by Iris Originals
Godzilla
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I don't know about your 2020, but mine has been turned upside down - just about like something Godzilla would do.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.09
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