Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life's too short to skip dessert! This colorful and lighthearted design is perfect for anyone who believes it's always somebody's birthday...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A little bold, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This playful design is perfect for anyone with a feisty sense of humor and a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who have mastered the art of witty comebacks, this hilarious design features a "Sarcasm Level: Expert" meter that's perfect for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Perfect for cat lovers with a sassy streak, this playful design features the cheeky phrase "Zero Meows Given." A fun stitch that's sure to...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee is the Answer by Iris Originals
Coffee is the Answer
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This chart is perfect for a coffee lover (me). Great as something for yourself, or for that coffee loving friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - DON'T KALE MY VIBE
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! DON'T KALE MY VIBE in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! IT TAKES TWO TO MANGO in...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PRACTICE WHAT YOU PEACH...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - YOU'VE GUAC TO BE KIDDING ME
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! YOU'VE GUAC TO BE...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Coffee!! This coffee pattern reflects what a lot of coffee drinkers believe. Featuring a steaming cup of coffee and a scattering of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Death Before Decaf by Rogue Stitchery
Death Before Decaf
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Perfect for the coffee lover! This design was stitched using bright DMC colors and is framed in an 8" x 8" shadow box frame. Any frame...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:76w x 76
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
$6.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Women Who Behave by Sue Hillis Designs
Women Who Behave
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Women who behave - Rarely make history. Handcuffs charm included. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Sage/Summer Khaki
Floss:13 DMC colors
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate's Creed by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate's Creed
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Perfect for framing, gifting, or hanging in your crafty cove, Pirate’s Creed is a hilarious nod to creative grit—whether you're sewing at...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine a Bit by Sue Hillis Designs
Wine a Bit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Bold stitched in rich wine tones, the cheeky message “Wine a bit… you’ll feel better" is perfect for wine lovers with a sense of humor!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:53w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, To Gno-Me... by Sue Hillis Designs
To Gno-Me...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
To gno-me is to love me. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Heart button...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mystic Grey
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pillage & Plunder by Sue Hillis Designs
Pillage & Plunder
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Why work - when you can pillage and plunder. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 55
Fabric:14ct. Aida Summer Khaki
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pirate Queen by Sue Hillis Designs
Pirate Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Pirate Queen. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida Mushroom
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Good Friend by Sue Hillis Designs
A Good Friend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A good friend is like a bra - Close to your heart and very supportive. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:46w x 64
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Black Hat Society by Sue Hillis Designs
Black Hat Society
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Proud member of the Black Hat Society. Candy corn button included.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:69w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lilac
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Believe by Sue Hillis Designs
Believe
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
What Santa brings if you don't Believe. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:63w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida Antique White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, DysFUNctional by Sue Hillis Designs
DysFUNctional
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Our Family puts the Fun in Dysfunctional. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loves Me by Sue Hillis Designs
Loves Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
...Loves me, Loves me not...'tis no matter, I'm all he's got. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Love Pirate by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Love Pirate, Ye've plundered me heart. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:47w x 74
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Summer Khaki
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Men Fish by Sue Hillis Designs
Why Men Fish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Why do men fish? Because they’re utterly enchanted by a particular mermaid’s allure! In this fun-sized design, a flirtatious mermaid holds...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 75
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ice Blue
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Red Hat by Sue Hillis Designs
Red Hat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
I shall wear purple with a red hat. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame. Purple...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:49w x 68
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beer... by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer...
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Beer - helping men to dance since 1862. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5 inch by 7 inch frame....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:64w x 46
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$6.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out of my mouth! That's never a good thing! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lick the Frosting by Iris Originals
Lick the Frosting
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin...and muffins are healthy - You're Welcome! Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right - the rest are to keep me out of jail - help me form sentences and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Young at Heart by Iris Originals
Young at Heart
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Think that about sums it up - for me at least.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:81w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Housework by Iris Originals
Housework
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
They say housework won't kill you! But why take the chance? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 80. Model stitched on 14...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Out of Supplies by Iris Originals
Out of Supplies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We all know we're NOT going to run out of supplies. May get down low - but run out - can usually go into the 'stash' and find something.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:148w x 137
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Do Not Disturb by Iris Originals
Do Not Disturb
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, proceed with caution - especially on some days. This makes a great gift for a friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 148
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Safe Place by Iris Originals
Safe Place
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I hate when I put something in a "Safe Place" Then it's pretty much lost forever! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 93....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old Age by Iris Originals
Old Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't let old age get you down - It's too hard to get back up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 152 x 126. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:152w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah by Iris Originals
Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever feel this way in the morning - Some days I'm moving about as fast as this little guy. Added him because my granddaughter loves...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 85
Fabric:14ct. picture this plus artic
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Best FRiend by Iris Originals
Best FRiend
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute saying about your best friend - does she know too much - probably :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, This Age by Iris Originals
This Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah. I can attest to the fact that as I get older I can't do all the stuff I used to do or want to do - at least that's true with me. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, So Much to Do by Iris Originals
So Much to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ah...so much to do - so little desire to do it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 94. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not My Dog by Iris Originals
Not My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, only MY dog gets to boss me around.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:2 colors Anchor or DMX
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee and Jesus by Iris Originals
Coffee and Jesus
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this is definitely a true statement for me - and hopefully for you too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Train of Thought by Iris Originals
Train of Thought
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, and this is happening way too often~!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 119
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Little Dog by Iris Originals
My Little Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And, this is SO TRUE of my little dog. He is barking as I type - probably because a cricket jumped outside. But, he's a sweetie, small...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida Aida
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Warrior Queen by Iris Originals
Warrior Queen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yup, that's me - older and meaner all the time. I like the title "Warrior Queen"
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Amaze Myself by Iris Originals
Amaze Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, that just happens some days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anhor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Eyesight by Iris Originals
Your Eyesight
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that's pretty much me these days - how about you??
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had Coffee by Iris Originals
Had Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I woke up got out of bed and had coffee. That's probably enough activity for one day. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 97 x 96....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:97w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Freshly Brewed Coffee by Iris Originals
Freshly Brewed Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee - or maybe you're not a coffeeholic like me. Anyway, this makes a great little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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