Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Freshly Brewed Coffee by Iris Originals
Freshly Brewed Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't you just love the smell of freshly brewed coffee - or maybe you're not a coffeeholic like me. Anyway, this makes a great little...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:121w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Amaze Myself by Iris Originals
Amaze Myself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, that just happens some days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 109
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anhor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Nap by Iris Originals
A Nap
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! I used to be the energizer bunny - but NOW - I love my naps.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 105
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Get Up from the Sofa by Iris Originals
Get Up from the Sofa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
And sometimes three - but life is good. Glad to be alive!!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Prevents Injuries by Iris Originals
Coffee Prevents Injuries
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute coffee saying - if you love coffee, or know someone who does, this makes a great little gift or saying near your coffee pot.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:10 colors DMC or Anchor fllss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Something Soup by Iris Originals
Something Soup
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Never underestimate a woman with a crockpot and a can of cream of something soup. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 104....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 104
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lids on Jars by Iris Originals
Lids on Jars
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this seems to be an everyday occasion in my life - anytime I'm faced with a jar, bottle or whatever needs to be opened. Yeah, I know...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm a Classic by Iris Originals
I'm a Classic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, getting old does have it's benefits - I'm still above the grass - BUT, I'm also becoming a "classic".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Yeah - You Wish by Iris Originals
Yeah - You Wish
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I wish!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Controlling my Tongue by Iris Originals
Controlling my Tongue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, sadly this is true most of the time!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Over the Hill by Iris Originals
Over the Hill
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'll never be over the hill - I'm too tired to climb it! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 78 x 87. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:78w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Vision Problem by Iris Originals
Vision Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
About right for a lot of days for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Spilling Coffee by Iris Originals
Spilling Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 113 x 115. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Protection by Iris Originals
Coffee Protection
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"I drink coffee for your protection". Excellent gift for that coffee loving friend, or maybe for yourself.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth Oatmeal Lite
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lots of Things by Iris Originals
Lots of Things
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
If I had the energy - or the want to - that I had when I was 25 (or even 50) - I'd be a superwoman. Sadly, age is catching up with me and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Me, Weird? by Iris Originals
Me, Weird?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Me weird? I think you mean very freakin' unique! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 99 x 96. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Look in the Mirror by Iris Originals
Look in the Mirror
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sadly - that happens to me frequently. What on earth did happen? Oh well, sometimes it gives me a laugh.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 129
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tips for Falling Asleep by Iris Originals
Tips for Falling Asleep
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't ask me how I know this. Oh yeah, I've watched other members of my family do this. I would never think of doing it.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 skeins Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, What Your Dog Thinks by Iris Originals
What Your Dog Thinks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Good message - I hope I can live up to my little dog's ideaof me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:82w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Fiddler's Cloth white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Proceed with Caution by Iris Originals
Proceed with Caution
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Okay, I know lots of people who need this sign (not me, of course). Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 130. Model stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Patience & Coffee by Iris Originals
Patience & Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This design pretty much says it all. Where is my patience - must be at the bottom of my coffee cup.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cupcake by Iris Originals
Cupcake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Who loves cupcakes? Most of us I think. SO, here's a way to turn yours into a healty bite. :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Swift as a Gazelle by Iris Originals
Swift as a Gazelle
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I know how that poor gazelle feels. Glad I don't have a lion chasing me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:3 colors Anchor or DMC floww
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Decaf Coffee by Iris Originals
Decaf Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Absolutely - I can't imagine a circumstance where I would order decaf coffee :-) I do love my coffee - strong and yummy!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in the Morning by Iris Originals
Coffee in the Morning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Works at my house - coffee in the morning - keeps others healthy.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee O'Clock by Iris Originals
Coffee O'Clock
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, actually at my house - anytime is coffee o'clock - but then I really love my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:85w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WD-40 by Iris Originals
WD-40
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it for me lots of days.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Respect for my Elders by Iris Originals
Respect for my Elders
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
True statement - for me at least. Easy stitch, cute as a gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Not Enough Coffee by Iris Originals
Not Enough Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that pretty much says it correctly - for me at least. As a matter of fact - I probably need to go and get another cup now.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 92
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:7 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Blood Type by Iris Originals
My Blood Type
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 58
Fabric:16ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, The Elderly by Iris Originals
The Elderly
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I am elderly - difficult to accept most of the time. But, what I need to do is suck it up and keep going. And hey, I woke up above...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:116w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lose Something by Iris Originals
Lose Something
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Oh yeah! That's my life these days. I just wish I knew where all those "safe places" are.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Medic Alert Bracelet by Iris Originals
Medic Alert Bracelet
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yeah! Very true statement - probably always needs coffee. Great chart to do as a gift to your coffee drinking friend
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 112
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord, My Dog by Iris Originals
Dear Lord, My Dog
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog things I am". Easy chart to stitch for yourself or a dog friendly friend.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida Blue
Floss:1 color DMC or Anchor
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid #2 by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
When I waw a Kid - actually 2nd chart saying the same thing - shows you where my brain miht be
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC floss
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'd Pick You by Sambrie Stitches Designs
I'd Pick You
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs
"I'd Pick You" by SamBrie Stitches Designs is a charming, small-format cross stitch pattern featuring ripe strawberries, delicate blossoms,...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 39
Fabric:18ct. Aida China White
Floss:Classic Colorworks or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Early Bird by Iris Originals
Early Bird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yeah, I'm not crazy about worms - BUT I'll definitely take the coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:83w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Superpower by Iris Originals
My Superpower
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
So, that's my superpower - what's yours? I do love my coffee :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:87w x 99
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Much Coffee by Iris Originals
Too Much Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a coffee addict. Yes, I drink coffee all day. I'll bet you know someone that does the same thing. Perfect little chart for them.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:11 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Protecting Mama by Iris Originals
Protecting Mama
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
My little dog barks at EVERYTHING! Maybe you know someone with one like that - or do you have one too.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 107
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Rough Week by Iris Originals
Rough Week
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"It's been a rough week. But on a positive side I didn't need any bail money and i didn't have to hide any bodies." Cute saying for...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Seriously by Iris Originals
Seriously
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Have you ever just looked at someone and said...seriously?? Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 86 x 65. Model stitched on 14ct...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 65
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm a coffee addict - so love everything coffee - just can't help myself from designing yet another 'cute' coffee saying.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Stuff to Do by Iris Originals
Stuff to Do
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, this describes me on most days!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:133w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, All Day by Iris Originals
All Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, that seems to be my activity a lot lately.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 121
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor for DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Growing Old by Iris Originals
Growing Old
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, yeah I did - it just crept up on me. Maybe you're the same way - or know someone who is. Doesn't hurt to add a bit of humor!!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 90
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:6 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Professional Help by Iris Originals
Professional Help
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
We probably all need professional help at some point - but I could use these on a daily basis :-)
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:100w x 73
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor floss
$6.30
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