Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns | Everything Cross Stitch

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Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.

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Nerdy Words: Wine

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

Nerdy girls like wine too! Each element has the symbol of the element along with the atomic number and atomic weight. The pattern has...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:62w x 23

Fabric:Aida

Floss:1 DMC Cotton color

Released: 8/4/2026

$8.40

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Life Is Better At The Beach

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations

Life really is better at the beach! This cheerful design features sunny flip-flops, a cool drink, playful crabs and seaside accents for the...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:60w x 57

Fabric:16ct. Aida Sea Spray

Floss:Romy's Creations, DMC Floss

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A little dark humor for serious coffee lovers. This witty design is a quick and fun stitch for anyone who knows that caffeine comes...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:36w x 36

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A sweet and witty design for anyone who believes true love comes with the irresistible aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Counted cross...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:67w x 60

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

Short, simple and delightfully sassy. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 33 x 24. Model stitched on 32ct Cream Evenweave using...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:33w x 24

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

If you’re a coffee fanatic, or know someone who is, then you’d probably agree that this sentiment is perfect. Counted cross stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:66w x 48

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

For those who run on caffeine, this fun and witty design says it all! A quick stitch that's perfect for coffee lovers with a sense of...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:71w x 50

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A fun and cheeky design for coffee lovers who know the drill: pour it first, and then they will come. Counted cross stitch pattern....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:56w x 36

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A playful design for coffee lovers who prefer their daily buzz in a mug. This witty saying is sure to bring a smile to anyone who considers...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:49w x 48

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A fun and relatable design for coffee lovers who know that a little caffeine can make any conversation better. Counted cross stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:39w x 36

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A fun and charming design for coffee lovers who know that a freshly brewed cup is truly the language of love. Counted cross stitch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:55w x 48

Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

Is it meno-rage? Is it acute sleep deprivation? Is it the current state of our country? I don’t know, but I know it has been my current...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:65w x 28

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

A simple yet uplifting reminder to keep shining through life's tougher moments. This inspiring design encourages you to choose glitter over...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:54w x 72

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma

Never skip the fries, sometimes they are the best part. *NOTES ABOUT THE STITCHED MODEL* I stitched the model on a cotton french fry...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:77w x 85

Too Hard to Get Back up

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals

Growing older has never been so relatable! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who can laugh at the little aches and pains that come...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:103w x 77

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

It's All About the Stash

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sambrie Stitches Designs

Features colorful stitching motifs, cheerful accents and the perfectly honest phrase “It's all about the stash!”. Celebrates the joy of...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:69w x 69

Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Add a little humor to your bathroom with this adorable design featuring a curious cat and a message every cat owner knows is all too true....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 96

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For those who prefer to do things their own way, this witty design delivers plenty of sass and humor. Counted cross stitch pattern....

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For anyone whose brain never seems to hit the pause button, this witty design perfectly captures the art of overthinking. A fun and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Be Happy it Drives People Crazy

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A colorful reminder to choose happiness and let go of what others think. This uplifting design is perfect for anyone who embraces life with...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Caution I Have No Filter

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For those who proudly speak their mind, this playful design features a bold "I Have No Filter" warning that's perfect for adding a little...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Celebrate what makes you unique with this bright and uplifting design! A fun reminder that you're not weird—you're simply one of a kind and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Ugliness can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A little sarcastic, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This witty design is perfect for anyone who appreciates sharp humor and...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Be a Stiletto in Room of Flats

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Stand out from the crowd with this fun and empowering design featuring the inspiring reminder to "Be a Stiletto in a Room of Flats." A...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I'm Just a Person Standing in Front of a Salad Asking it to Be a Donut

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Life's toughest decisions are sometimes the sweetest! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who has ever wished a salad would...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Looks Aren't Everything But I Have Them Just in Case

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For the beauty lovers who know mascara solves almost everything! This fun and fashionable design is perfect for anyone who believes life's...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks

Rule the biggest shopping day of the year with this fun and festive design! Perfect for Black Friday enthusiasts who proudly wear the title...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:132w x 135

Fabric:32ct. Linen White

Sassy Threads Series I - Born to Argue

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For those who always have a comeback ready, this colorful and humorous design is perfect for anyone who proudly admits they were simply...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - Eye Rolling is My Cardio

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Perfect for anyone fluent in sarcasm, this colorful design features the hilarious phrase, "Eye Rolling Is My Cardio." A fun stitch that's...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - I Run a Tight Shipwreck

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For anyone who's ever felt like they're barely keeping it together, this nautical-inspired design delivers the perfect dose of humor. A fun...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - It's a Beautiful Day to Leave Me Alone

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A cheerful reminder to embrace each day with a positive outlook, this uplifting design encourages you to focus on the sunshine and leave...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series I - It's Okay if You Don't Like Me. Not Everyone Has Good Taste.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A little sassy and full of confidence, this humorous design is perfect for anyone who believes that not everyone has good taste. A fun...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:109w x 160

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Butt First Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Start your day with a smile and a cup of coffee! This playful design featuring a mischievous cat is the perfect stitch for coffee lovers...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Come to the Dark Side We Have Cookies

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

oin the fun side with this cheeky design featuring the irresistible invitation, "Come to the Dark Side... We Have Cookies." A playful...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I Don't Like Morning People. Or People. Or Mornings.

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Not a morning person? This hilarious design says it all! Perfect for anyone who needs coffee before conversation and isn't afraid to admit...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - I Eat Cake Because It's Somebody's Birthday Somewhere

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Life's too short to skip dessert! This colorful and lighthearted design is perfect for anyone who believes it's always somebody's birthday...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Kiss My Sass

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

A little bold, a little sassy, and guaranteed to get a laugh! This playful design is perfect for anyone with a feisty sense of humor and a...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Sarcasm Level Expert

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

For those who have mastered the art of witty comebacks, this hilarious design features a "Sarcasm Level: Expert" meter that's perfect for...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Sassy Threads Series II - Zero Meows Given

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders

Perfect for cat lovers with a sassy streak, this playful design features the cheeky phrase "Zero Meows Given." A fun stitch that's sure to...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:140w x 99

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Don't Die by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

A little dark humor with a clever twist! Featuring a mischievous opossum and a playful reminder to "Don't Die Before You're Dead," this...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:96w x 121

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Please Hesitate by Mary Engelbreit Cross Stitch Pattern

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors

A witty design with a touch of dark humor, featuring woodland friends and the playful phrase, "And Please Hesitate to Call Me." Perfect for...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:121w x 104

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Coffee Makes Me Human

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

Wake up and stitch with a smile! This charming design features a cozy coffee pot, colorful florals and the cheerful reminder that coffee is...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ivory

Cross Stitch Keeps Me Sane

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs

For stitchers everywhere, this beautiful floral design says it best—cross stitch really does keep us sane! A charming and heartfelt project...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:114w x 59

Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ivory

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Finally a Farmgirl Designs

Faith and coffee make the perfect blend! This warm and inspiring design features the heartfelt saying, "Jesus in My Heart and Coffee in My...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:60w x 69

Fabric:28ct. Linen Summer Khaki

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating

A humorous winter-themed design featuring a playful driving quote and whimsical stitched artwork. Perfect for adding a lighthearted touch...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:98w x 138

Fabric:14ct. Aida White

Floss:DMC Floss

Multiple styles available

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchy Prose

A stitch for that "crabby someone" to remind them that some moods are best cured by salt air, sandy toes, and a return to the shore. The...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:120w x 80

Fabric:32ct. Linen Flax Variegated

Floss:DMC, Classic Color Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sampler Sensibility

"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself " -from a letter to Elizabeth Holland from Emily Dickinson, 1856. Relatable quote to all on so...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:118w x 36

Fabric:27ct. Linen

Floss:DMC Floss, Gentle Art Sampler Threads

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs

Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:141w x 47

Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha

Floss:Weeks Dye Works

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rebel Stitcher Designs

Celebrate your wonderfully unique side with this quirky frog design! Dressed in a leafy cape and paired with the playful phrase "Stay Weird...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:129w x 145

Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Stormy Clouds

Floss:DMC Floss, Classic Colorworks

Released: 4/17/2026

$15.00

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All You Need is Coffee

a Cross Stitch Pattern by Alessandra Adelaide Needleworks

All you need is ... coffee aroma, coffee scent, coffee taste, coffee strength ... Coffee! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 127...

Pattern Details:

Stitch Count:127w x 132

Fabric:18ct. Aida White

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